lifewillhappen

I don't know if I should go into treatment or what, AA is great, but I don't need to be reminded all the time, that I have a drinking problem, darn I know that, I'm a plane in the sky without gas, spiraling to the ground to total death.

But, I can't just walk away from the finanial mess I've created!

I wish I could find a person, who is business minded, I'm in sales, that could help mentor me to sobriety, by keeping me focus on my goals in life and working towards them. I don't need a baby sitter, I need a great mentor!

What are your thoughts?

Cause I just want to successful and sober!

DisplacedGRITS

AA isn't there to remind you that you're an alcoholic. It's a program to get you life back in order. Hi, i'm DisplacedGRITS and i'm an Alcoholic. It's true. It's a humbling statement and it's a reminder that no matter how "in control" of my life i am, no matter how much sobriety i have under my belt, i am an alcoholic now and forever. Alcohol will always have control over my life if i let it in. People who think their no longer alcoholics or no longer want to admit it are at greater risk of relapse. Reminding myself that i'm an alcoholic is a small price to pay for sobriety. It may not work for you but i hope you reconsider AA.

Some big cities have AA groups geared towards business professionals i believe. There are other methods out there (i think SMART and AVRT, correct me if i'm wrong guys) that may be more to your liking.

Anna

Whoa, I`m not an AA person, but I don`t think anyone sees AA as a babysitter.

The purpose of going to AA or any other recovery program is to grow spiritually and improve your life. For example, I know that when I got rid of the obsessive and negative thoughts associated with drinking, my life opened up for me and I had renewed energy.

waw545

Success comes with staying sober. Thats the only way to get out of a mess and be able to stay out. I dont no about mentoring but a good aa sponsor will tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to here. Blessings to you.

doggonecarl

I worked towards and accomplished many external goals in my life.

They didn't keep me sober.

Once I made soberiety my goal, I've made it 20 months. I'm not saying soberiety and life goals are mutually exclusive. But I would suggest prioritizing getting sober. The rest will follow.

Good luck.

Bored3

Hi lifewillhappen,

I know where you're coming from. I admire AA and what it does, but it wasn't and isn't for me. A lot of that is for similar reasons to what you're saying. I am an alcoholic, so what. I don't really have any ambition to be a "sober" person, I just don't want to drink, I don't want alcohol to be an issue in my life. I don't smoke, but I'm not dead set against smoking if that's what people choose to do, that's how I want to view alcohol in the present and in my future. I am a non-smoker, and I want to be a non-drinker. I don't need to be reminded of what alcohol has done to me and will again, I just no longer want it to be an issue or even a thought in my life.

In terms of focusing on your goals, that has to come from within. You don't have that magic person in your life yet, it has to be all on you. The only advice I can give is to write down your goals, write down your objectives that you want to achieve today, or this week, month etc. The best way for me to keep sober, personally, is to keep doing things. Read on SR, go for a walk, clean up, study something, do basically anything! Whenever your mind tells you to drink, work towards your goals, whatever they may be.

I'm not the person to ask about different programmes and groups, but AA is just one option, perhaps somebody with better information could divert you in the direction of those.

Good luck, I hope things work out and are on the up soon.

Dee74

Hi lifewillhappen - welcome!

I think, if you need a financial planner, get a financial planner. I'm not sure about the States but I'm sure you have the same kinds of budgetary consultant firms around now that help people sort out their debts...

Shop around and pick a reputable one.

I think your drinkings the more important problem tho - if you need help with your drinking, get help with your drinking.

The right kind of help is the help that gets you to stand on your own two feet and work your own recovery - no babysitting involved at all

Here's some links to some of the main recovery players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D

Zebra1275

Your mentor could come in the form of a sponsor. Do you have one yet?

Sapling

I'm an alcoholic and I have no problem being reminded of that. It keeps me grounded...I like meetings and look forward to going to them. I guess for me they are like a parachute for that plane you are on. I hope you find something that works for you. That's the main thing.

Zencat

The people that I admire have sobered up, regained their clarity and used the talents/skills they had rediscovered by being sober.

awuh1

LWH, Sounds like you may have made your “financial mess” the “reason “for your drinking. Quite possibly it’s the other way around. In any event, if you get sober you will be successful, at least by most of our definitions of that word.

Eddiebuckle

LWH,

When I finally decided to quit drinking, I expected that all I had to do was stop and everything else would fall into place and my regularly scheduled life would resume. The reality for me was that the 'not drinking' was basically a full time job in itself initially, and that I was not merely unemployed, but unemployable if I were to drink.

Two years later, my career and finances are back on track, but I try not to lose sight of the fact that the foundation upon which those things rest is my sobriety. It wasn't a lack of motivation, intelligence, or direction that held me back - it was an inability to control my drinking. And though I have not had a drink since I threw in the towel, I know myself well enough that a couple of drinks could put me back in that situation in a heartbeat.

Have you tried other AA meetings in the area? Mebane has a good group, but I found it a little insular, especially when I was new. You might want to try other groups, each one has a personality of it's own. I now most frequently go to Rule 62 in Graham, but initally went to Greensboro daily because I didn't feel any affinity to the folks in the meetings closer to home. The important thing is to find a program that works for you (AA isn't the only game in town, though is by far the most common).

Much like drinking, we didn't put ourselves in our financial predicaments overnight. And those issues won't be rectified overnight either, it just takes a little time and perseverence.

Hang in there Life, and feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Eddie