Heard Something Today
Clever Yak
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Heard Something Today
I heard something today and I thought I should share it over here, maybe somebody will find it helpful.
Hope is not a strategy.
I like this saying. It's so true when we think about it and apply it to our relationships with addicts or dysfunctional people in general. You can't live on hope and expectations and hope things will improve. Only YOUR OWN actions will make things better for you--no amount of hope will ever change anything, it's just something to keep our heads up in our moments of sheer despair. Hope is not a strategy, but is simply a coping mechanism and we wouldn't have to use it so much if we detach from the dysfunctional people in our lives! I can not hope so much that my dad will come back from the grave or hope so much that it changes my mom's attitude toward me or my sister. I cannot hope and change anything. Hope helps keep us afloat when we're in danger of drowning, but only our actions will save us!
Hope is not a strategy.
I like this saying. It's so true when we think about it and apply it to our relationships with addicts or dysfunctional people in general. You can't live on hope and expectations and hope things will improve. Only YOUR OWN actions will make things better for you--no amount of hope will ever change anything, it's just something to keep our heads up in our moments of sheer despair. Hope is not a strategy, but is simply a coping mechanism and we wouldn't have to use it so much if we detach from the dysfunctional people in our lives! I can not hope so much that my dad will come back from the grave or hope so much that it changes my mom's attitude toward me or my sister. I cannot hope and change anything. Hope helps keep us afloat when we're in danger of drowning, but only our actions will save us!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 227
I've changed my actions towards my son to protect myself from his destruction. He knows I will no longer support him and that home can never again be an option for him. He has to figure his life out for himself. I had to take these steps to protect myself.
However, I still have hope. I don't base my happiness on that hope but I also will not give up hope that someday he will lead a healthy, happy life. I see it won't be on my timeline, but, as they say, where there is breathe there is hope and that hope helps me to sleep peacefully every night.
However, I still have hope. I don't base my happiness on that hope but I also will not give up hope that someday he will lead a healthy, happy life. I see it won't be on my timeline, but, as they say, where there is breathe there is hope and that hope helps me to sleep peacefully every night.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
Thank you! I've had a rough Monday. I appreciate the reminder that things don't get better until we put in the work to make it better!!! This applies with my situation at work, and also the current situation with ASD and AM.
Clever Yak
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
I've changed my actions towards my son to protect myself from his destruction. He knows I will no longer support him and that home can never again be an option for him. He has to figure his life out for himself. I had to take these steps to protect myself.
However, I still have hope. I don't base my happiness on that hope but I also will not give up hope that someday he will lead a healthy, happy life. I see it won't be on my timeline, but, as they say, where there is breathe there is hope and that hope helps me to sleep peacefully every night.
However, I still have hope. I don't base my happiness on that hope but I also will not give up hope that someday he will lead a healthy, happy life. I see it won't be on my timeline, but, as they say, where there is breathe there is hope and that hope helps me to sleep peacefully every night.
Hope helps keep us afloat when we're in danger of drowning, but only our actions will save us!
Hope is a candle of light that I keep burning in my heart, right next to the candle of faith. Both have lit my path during dark times giving me courage to keep going.
Hugs
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