10 days so far
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
10 days so far
well, i've made it this far... and that makes me happy.
i'm glad that i am on the right track again (i'm glad in my head), in my heart i feel very empty. there are moments when i feel almost euphoric, and then i crash (probably a lot has to do with my friend passing away), but my relapse is still very scary to me. it was too easy, to just start drinking again... and i was very conscious of my decision.
did i really think that drinking would somehow bring my friend back, rather than cause a lot of worrying and stress to my family and a ton of pain to myself? clearly not.
looking back at where i was last week ... could only barely force myself off the couch and start moving and living again. at this moment, i'd say i feel pretty damn good, at least physically.
just want to get a few hours of sleep and get to work and then gym tomorrow, so i can keep my mind of the emotional mess i got entangled in.
it does get better (i remember how wonderful i've felt, just waiting for the feeling to come back again), it does get better, because time heals everything. it does get better, because drunk life is more painful than being sober... doesn't matter how horrid you might feel inside, drinking will only make it worse. it does get better and that's all i need to know and believe in right now.
i'm glad that i am on the right track again (i'm glad in my head), in my heart i feel very empty. there are moments when i feel almost euphoric, and then i crash (probably a lot has to do with my friend passing away), but my relapse is still very scary to me. it was too easy, to just start drinking again... and i was very conscious of my decision.
did i really think that drinking would somehow bring my friend back, rather than cause a lot of worrying and stress to my family and a ton of pain to myself? clearly not.
looking back at where i was last week ... could only barely force myself off the couch and start moving and living again. at this moment, i'd say i feel pretty damn good, at least physically.
just want to get a few hours of sleep and get to work and then gym tomorrow, so i can keep my mind of the emotional mess i got entangled in.
it does get better (i remember how wonderful i've felt, just waiting for the feeling to come back again), it does get better, because time heals everything. it does get better, because drunk life is more painful than being sober... doesn't matter how horrid you might feel inside, drinking will only make it worse. it does get better and that's all i need to know and believe in right now.
Way to go!! Keep walkin forward, do not look down, and I promise you it gets better and so does the view. I am three months and the sheer guts it takes to quit and get through the first month is fresh in my mind. You CAN do this!
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