Kind of an eye opener
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 129
Kind of an eye opener
I realized something today. When i go any length of time sober i dont like who i am. I feel like i am a better person when i liquior running through my viens. I know this sounds crazy! I was usually a happy drunk. I did hurt myself my kids, friends, family and so on by putting my drinking first however I felt more social and at ease withmyself when i was drinking. Now that i am striving to remain sober i feel snappy, unsensitive, non social ext... I dont understand why i feel this way. I know now that the drinking was just putting on a fake front but i honesty liked myself better. Its not that i liked what i did or how i felt after after an all night binge but I was more at ease. I dont know if i feel like this cause my body is getting adjusted to being sober or have i always felt that way and if so i dont know why i feel this way. I dont want to be what i have heard it refered to as dry drunk. Has anyone else felt like this?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome back..
.
How llong have you been sober this time?
I remember it took me about 2 months to feel back in balance
mentally and physically.
I use AA for my sucessful recovery...are you doing anything?
Sorry to know of the situation....all my best to you and your family
.How llong have you been sober this time?
I remember it took me about 2 months to feel back in balance
mentally and physically.
I use AA for my sucessful recovery...are you doing anything?
Sorry to know of the situation....all my best to you and your family
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by sark 
I dont want to be what i have heard it refered to as dry drunk. Has anyone else felt like this?
Recovery is not-drinkin and feeling good about it.
When I was simply not-drinkin, I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, that sobriety sucked. When I started spiritual based recovery, I found the POMJSOP (Peace Of Mind, Joy, Sense Of Purpose) that made sobriety worth having.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
This is very common in Post Accute Withdrawl Syndrome, which can last for months. Also, remember that you have been an alcoholic for years. Even without alcohol, i'd be a different person now who i was was 8 years ago so now that i've sobered up i pretty much have no real clue who i am. It's a slow and somewhat frustrating process rediscovering myself but also exciting. I'm taking this as an opportunity to clear out the deamons from my past that led me to the drink in the first place and rebuild myself into a stronger, happier, more confident me.
All that relaxation and ease you felt with liquor on board was false. If you felt like you needed a little pick me up at three in the afternoon to get through work would you do meth? I don't think so. You're going to feel cranky and antisocial quite a bit because you're denying your body and brain that drug it's been dependent on for so long. You're basically taking away a favorite toy away from a toddler because he/she became too unruly with it. Try going to some AA meetings just to get out and be around people who have been and are going through similar situations. It's helped me out a lot.
All that relaxation and ease you felt with liquor on board was false. If you felt like you needed a little pick me up at three in the afternoon to get through work would you do meth? I don't think so. You're going to feel cranky and antisocial quite a bit because you're denying your body and brain that drug it's been dependent on for so long. You're basically taking away a favorite toy away from a toddler because he/she became too unruly with it. Try going to some AA meetings just to get out and be around people who have been and are going through similar situations. It's helped me out a lot.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 104
I do understand your feelings, Sark. However, I've been sober for pretty long periods in the past, and these feelings eventually passed. I'm still in early recovery right now, and I miss those (brief) relaxed feelings of inebriation, even though they were always followed by more anxiety.
Do you think you suffer from social anxiety or just general anxiety? I know I'm prone to social anxiety, and I'm trying to address this while also confronting my addiction issues; I think they go hand-in-hand.
Whether you believe it or not right now, you're making the right decision in remaining sober. I think things can only get better for you and your family.
Do you think you suffer from social anxiety or just general anxiety? I know I'm prone to social anxiety, and I'm trying to address this while also confronting my addiction issues; I think they go hand-in-hand.
Whether you believe it or not right now, you're making the right decision in remaining sober. I think things can only get better for you and your family.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi sark! What's so great about your post is that you're here talking about your thoughts and feelings, instead of numbing them out with alcohol. So give yourself a pat on the back!
You talked about feeling better about yourself and more at ease while you were drinking, and I think that's why a lot of us drank. What I found in sobriety, though, was that there's a difference between feeling good and feeling good about who I am. Just feeling good on a substance is something anyone can do - there's no effort involved - we can feel good even if our lives are a shamble. The problem is when the drink/drug wears off, we're no happier than we were before because we haven't really done anything positive or dealt with the real issues.
The good feelings that are real and lasting come from accepting who we are and contributing to life. Just being sober made me stronger and more patient..... I started having insights about the way I put pressure on myself and how to change that..... there's a million things I've learned, mainly because I HAD to in order to stay sober. At some point, I actually began to enjoy the process and saw not only how much better my life was, but how much I could give to others.
So, I guess what I'm saying is that the rewards and good feelings will come, so hang in there. It really is worth it......:ghug3
You talked about feeling better about yourself and more at ease while you were drinking, and I think that's why a lot of us drank. What I found in sobriety, though, was that there's a difference between feeling good and feeling good about who I am. Just feeling good on a substance is something anyone can do - there's no effort involved - we can feel good even if our lives are a shamble. The problem is when the drink/drug wears off, we're no happier than we were before because we haven't really done anything positive or dealt with the real issues.
The good feelings that are real and lasting come from accepting who we are and contributing to life. Just being sober made me stronger and more patient..... I started having insights about the way I put pressure on myself and how to change that..... there's a million things I've learned, mainly because I HAD to in order to stay sober. At some point, I actually began to enjoy the process and saw not only how much better my life was, but how much I could give to others.
So, I guess what I'm saying is that the rewards and good feelings will come, so hang in there. It really is worth it......:ghug3
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Originally Posted by sark
I know now that the drinking was just putting on a fake front but i honesty liked myself better.
I am now starting to discover and accept who I am and start to work on what I need to work on.
It takes time, but alcohol was killing me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Sark,
I am glad you started this thread. For months I felt what you were describing, as people have pointed out it can take months for the emotions to become stable.
I was much more sociable when drinking, caring and sensitive to others but that really was n't true. I am a lot more real now.
Something that I now discover is I really like my own company and although I am alone a lot I don't feel lonely.
For me now after 11 months sober no desire to drink and my life is in good order my spiritual growth is my number one priority.
caiHong
I am glad you started this thread. For months I felt what you were describing, as people have pointed out it can take months for the emotions to become stable.
I was much more sociable when drinking, caring and sensitive to others but that really was n't true. I am a lot more real now.
Something that I now discover is I really like my own company and although I am alone a lot I don't feel lonely.
For me now after 11 months sober no desire to drink and my life is in good order my spiritual growth is my number one priority.
caiHong
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I don’t think it’s not liking “who you are”. It’s more not liking “how you feel”. With only a few weeks sober you are still suffering from PAWS and you likely will continue to for many months to come. Issues of depression will linger till they are resolved. Sure, you were happy when drinking because it helped with depression and loss temporarily. Is that how you want to deal with this problem forever? Are you involved with any program of recovery?
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Abstinence also has a good name in some places
Originally Posted by sark
... Now that i am striving to remain sober i feel snappy, unsensitive, non social ext... I dont understand why i feel this way.
Abstinence -
follows a serious commitment to never drink again. AVRT allows a person to move ahead without involvement in a Way of Life program. It is strictly self-empowered recovery.
Sobriety -follows the engagement in a Way of Life program from which follows not drinking.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,370
I didn't like who I was either Sark - that was one of the reasons when I drank.
When I stopped drinking, i knew I had to change - but that takes time.
It also takes time for the effects of years of alcohol to leave you too, I think - my worldview was still pretty dark for a while even after I quit. I believed I was better as a drunk for a while after I quit too.
It's BS.
Give it a chance Sark - we drank for years, right?
a few weeks is a great start but there's more to do
The thing is to stick with it - this is the thing that makes or breaks us, because when lifes not looking like it's getting any better or we feel down on ourselves, that's when we need to stick to the faith and the belief that recovery is the best way for us.
You'll find support here
When I stopped drinking, i knew I had to change - but that takes time.
It also takes time for the effects of years of alcohol to leave you too, I think - my worldview was still pretty dark for a while even after I quit. I believed I was better as a drunk for a while after I quit too.
It's BS.
Give it a chance Sark - we drank for years, right?
a few weeks is a great start but there's more to do
The thing is to stick with it - this is the thing that makes or breaks us, because when lifes not looking like it's getting any better or we feel down on ourselves, that's when we need to stick to the faith and the belief that recovery is the best way for us.
You'll find support here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 129
You all made some good points. Its nice to read that others suffered or are suffering from this as well and to know its normal. I dont have long sober time so i guess i am still in shock at my emotions. Yes drinking does temporarily numb you out. I guess i am seeing the real me and need to change it.
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