HelterSkelter

Hi Everyone,

I came across this forum and hope I might get some advice/help with my situation.

I binge drink but can't seem to stop.

I may go a 1-2 weeks without drinking but when I do, I end up getting ridiculously drunk that I don't remember parts of the night before, feel horribly rough the next morning, eat crap food etc. The usual effects of binge drinking basically.

However it seems to be getting worse each time. I'm 24 years old but still doing things I'm ashamed of and wish had never happened.

I went back home in February to see my parents. My Dad had got two tickets for the England v Scotland 6 Nations match at Murrayfield. He was really looking forward to it, as was I, and off we both went. We ended up drinking from early afternoon and by the time the match had finished I was feeling pretty drunk but I think I was hiding it well. I ended up texting my mate in Edinburgh and going on a night out with him. I therefore left my Dad to go home on the train on his own. He even tried to talk me round in the nicest possible way but I was full of beer and wanted more - I had to go on a night out. Still to this day I cringe at the thought of it, I felt so ashamed and terrible for what I did. All the money and time my Dad spent on me and I do that.

Then, on Tuesday it went a step further. I was out on an end of uni night out (I've just finished uni for good) and got ridiculously drunk again. This time to the extent that I ended up in A&E at 3 in the morning. I got chucked out a club for punching a mirror (no idea why) and the bouncer proceeded to give me a right kicking. I got my head split open, blood all over my clothes, burst lips, graze on my face and cut knuckle.

I felt like a complete idiot and ashamed of myself. Added to that, my Dad gave me £20 to keep me going and have a beer whilst watching the football on Sunday. This all got spent on drink.

There's many more from the past ... I could go on.

I hope I haven't rambled, but I thought it would be best to give everyone a good idea of how it is.

I feel like I should go to an AA meeting as I can't seem to stop by reading things on the internet, perhaps I need to talk to other people?

Hope people can offer advice.

eJoshua

Welcome to SR!

The shame of the past can be erased by the future. We've all done things that we are ashamed of.

If AA sounds appealing to you then go for it! I've found a lot of help there, and a whole lot of other people have too. If you try it and it doesn't suit you there are a lot of other recovery options out there as well.

Best wishes,

awuh1

Stories like yours get worse fast. The pattern deteriorates into more frequent and prolonged binges and blackouts. You have a chance to stop it before it gets REALY bad. Take it. Try an AA meeting (better yet a few). See if there is something there you might benefit from.

artsoul

Welcome HelterSkelter!

You'll find a lot of people here who share a similar story. Even if I promised myself to stop after a certain number of drinks, it never worked out that way. Once I got started, all I wanted was "just one more" (but of course, when that was gone, I wanted "just one more" and on and on).

I think it would be great to give AA a try (or any other recovery support group). Having sober friends is real plus.

Keep reading and posting!

HelterSkelter

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's nice to hear some friendly advice.

I've found an AA meeting in Preston, England where I live for the time being.

How do AA meetings work? Will I be asked to stand in front of everyone and explain my problem? Do they then offer advice? I'm completely new to this, and a little nervous about attending if truth be told.

Sapling

It worked for me....You put the effort in...It will work for you. Sounds like it's time for you to give up on alcohol...Before you hurt yourself or someone else worse than you already have.

Sapling

This will give you a good idea how they work...They cover it pretty well...Good luck to you. Use this site for support too...Let us know how it goes.

roosta

Welcome HelterSkelter... I binged too, and can not go more than a few days between binges. I used to be able to go weeks in between, but it went from weeks, to days, then finally drinking the next morning, to hide the shame from the night before. It's not a life i want anymore.

You're not alone, AA is a wonderful place if that's what you choose. One thing that helps me is one day at a time. Thanks for posting

roosta

eJoshua

It depends on the format and size of the meeting. In some meetings you may be called on to share, or everyone may be offered a chance to share, or else everyone may be offered the chance to volunteer something to share. Either way, you're not obligated to say anything if you don't want to. You can just say "Hi, I'm HelterSkelter, and I'm just here to listen tonight" and sharing will go to the next person.

If you do share it's unlikely that anyone will offer you advice during the meeting, although you may have someone come up to you afterwards to offer their opinion. Usually people just listen and then thank you for sharing.

Also, just so you know, it's not required for you to identify yourself as an alcoholic. Some people get hung up on this point. If you want to you can ("I'm HelterSkelter, and I'm an Alcoholic, just here to listen tonight") but you certainly don't have to.

Awuh is right that visiting a few meetings might not a bad idea. I didn't like the first several meetings I went to. I wish I would have stayed persistent in that at first, because it took me a while to warm up to the idea of AA after a lukewarm first impression. Eventually though I was able to find a couple groups that I really liked. If you know any friends or relatives that are in recovery you could always go with them if you feel comfortable.

Let us know how it goes if you decide to check it out.

PS -- It's totally normal to be scared at first. Once you get there you'll see there's nothing to be afraid of. Most AA folks are very welcoming people.

least

Welcome to the family HS! :ghug3