aeo1313

What is going on? Today is day 3. Yesterday i posted how I was crying all day. I went to 2 AA meetings yesterday. One at noon and another at 8pm.

Today i woke up feeling good and positive. I even worked out after work- something I have given up the last few months due to using. Tonight I am meeting with my sponsor and she is giving me step 1 worksheets. Then my daughter and I are going shopping.

Am I going to be a roller coaster for a while?

Ann

Eliasson

Yes! If I am any indicator, I think this is very normal! I'm in my second month and sometimes am in a bad place and then feeling positive all within the same day! I've heard things get easier and your moods start to stabilize eventually! You are doing great keep pushing forward it is so worth it!

doggonecarl

Roller Coaster? Yes, for a while. It takes a while to undo the physical damage. Even longer to undo the emotional and mental damage. Stay the course and you will be blessed with not ever having to go through this again.

Some of the step work will be emotional too. Stay strong, Ann. Prayers out to you.

Hevyn

Yes, I was like that for awhile - but it all settled down. Give yourself chance to mend and heal.

Tuitiefruitie

Yes. It is definitely a roller coaster ride, but well worth it.

Ranger

Roler coaster? Perhaps, maybe even likely. But, you can minimize the ups and downs by embracing Step 1 for all its worth. As has been said many times during the past few days, the misery is in the fight. Acceptance is your friend, Ann.

I wish you well!

Sapling

Just hang on tight and don't pick up the first drink...Good to see you are working with your sponsor....Look at it like a journey now....I'm happy for you aeo.

kellyrally

yes I definitely feel that way also... can be very very low and then the next day I feel great.

eJoshua

Oh yeah. Probably for at least a couple weeks.

reggiewayne

It is a roller coaster, but so was boozing.

Remember praying you wouldn't get pulled over after "having a few". Or not being able to sleep because you were too drunk (happened to me all of the time). Or planning a diet / exercise program but blowing it off because you drank to much and had to eat to sober up and then woke up feeling like crap and blew off the workout. Or flaking out on plans with friends because you had already drank a few and didn't want to go to an event that wasn't selling booze. Or worrying that the 4th quarter of a football game was coming so you better order two beers before they cut off beer sales. Or worrying if you were slurring your speech in front of others, or worried that you were still drunk from the night before while driving your kids to school?

I could literally do this for hours...

My point is, GREAT JOB ON 3 DAYS. Drinking makes nothing better and can always make anything worse. We quit for a reason. The tears are real emotion. Believe it or not we human beings actually cry sometimes.

Keep it up. You're doing great!!

DayTrader

Ann, it'll come and go. The good times start to last a little longer but the challenges that come can last a little longer too. AA's steps can be used like tools though. As you get better at applying them, the rough spots won't cut as deeply and they may not even last as long.

Recovery and AA don't promise a life free of difficulties.....but they do give us a different way to view them and a lot of new ways to handle / deal with them - one that's been working for millions of people for close to 80 years.

badatbooze

I can be sad then happy all within a minute. I am finding a lot of the bad and sad things that happened in my life that were drank away are coming back like it was yesterday.

tomsteve

2 meetings one day and yer feeling pretty good the next?maybe ya do should the 2 meetings thing again.
the emotional roller coaster is common. the peaks and valleys had extremely high peaks and extremely low valleys for some time for me. but as I WORKED THE PROGRAM, i got mentally, emotionally, and spiritually weller and those peaks and valleys got closer together.
for the most part they stay pretty close. i dont want them to be a straight line because, well, we all know what a straight line on a heart monitor means.


keep goin back! get a big book and a sponsor! get a God( one personal to you), and dont drink even if your ass falls off! life WILL take on new meaning!!!

aeo1313

I met with my sponsor after a meeting last night and talked with other women. It was a fantastic meeting and I felt as if each word said was just for me- i could relate to it all in some form. I then took my 13yo daughter to mall and after shopping we went to have a late dinner out. We talked the whole time and it felt so good. So real. I wasn't hiding in my room getting high. Today is a busy day which is good. Services this morning, more shopping, and I work tonight. I am hoping to sqeeze in a meeting, but there is only one afternoon meeting so hopefully shopping is done by then. I worked on my first step worksheets last night.

I also told my mom last night. She had known I went to a meeting in January but thought I stopped drinking and didn't go anymore. She does not know about the pills. She was very supportive and I told her that I had already looked up meetings in MO bc we go to their condo at the lake a lot during the summer and she said we can plan vacation stuff around meeting times if need be.

Sapling

That's awesome aeo...You sound serious this time. That's a good thing.

aeo1313

I feel serious this time. You know when you just have a gut feeling about something? Well, I feel that way this time that this is it. A few months ago I was petrified and worried wondering how I can go on vacation etc and not drink. Those thoughts aren't worrying me today. In fact, today I am just concentrating on today and I know that if I do today right the rest will fall in to place.

I was worrried how I would sleep without weed or pills to numb me to sleep. you know what? The past 4 nights I have hopped from couch to bed trying to sleep, but it hasn't killed me I'm ok. I clocked in a few solid hrs of sleep and it's ok. In fact, maybe the couch/bed hopping and stairs can count as a daily workout

Sapling

That will come in time aeo. Just take care of not drinking or using today. That's all that counts. That fact that you are thinking about meetings when you go on vacation speaks volumes for me. That's how I was thinking 10 months ago.

soberred

Hate to say it but yes. I am almost at 3 weeks and I am having one of those crying days today. I do know that when I quit for 5 months, the moods leveled out after a month or so. Hang in there. It will be so worth it in the end. Keep reaching out for help and keep going to AA. You are doing great.

aeo1313

Another good day yesterday. I didn't make it to a meeting though. Went to Temple with my daughter in the morning, then shopping. After, I worked out and went to work. I wait tables once a week and last night the beginning of my shift was triggering bc I have not worked there clean and/or sober in many months. I texted AA friends and SR friends and got through it!!!

Off to a meeting and grocery today!

Sapling

Good for you aeo...Have a great sober day!!!