Weasel1966

I am home a second day from work today. I drank all day yesterday. I just cannot seem to pick myself up. I will.. I always do.. but wholly crap. I need to stop the slide I am on. I just want to SCREAM!

I want to be able to post here and not whine.

Things just slammed me hard yesterday. I appreciate all the support I get here.

Hollyanne

Can you take some emergency time off work?
Get FMLA etc?
You get legal protection and it might give you a chance to stop drinking and get a few AA mtgs in. You have to put down the drink. It is the first step. No matter what! NO DRINK!!!!
I have been there.

Anna

I'm glad you posted this morning.

Do you have alcohol in the house? If so, get rid of it and don't buy anymore today. You can get through this.

Gavinandnikki

It won't go away because you are not making it go away. Get the booze out of the house, don't drink today.
You can be stronger than your urge to drink - as you've said - you "always do" - so do it now.

Hope you feel better soon,
Pam

Weasel1966

Thank you. No. I never keep booze in the house.

At the risk of sounding painfully like an alcoholic.... I promise that today will be a sober day. I want my life back.

Sharing yesterday about my childhood F'd me good. Still no excuse to not try.

Dee74

Like I said on the other thread Ken - we can let old injuries be inflicted again and again - or we can make a choice to draw a line and start afresh.

It's not easy and it's not an overnight process...but its something you can do today by committing to day one

I spent years with hands around my throat...30 years at least...
it took me that long to finally realise they were my hands y'know?

be kind to yourself today Ken
D

Hollyanne

You have to tell the person you are talking to, I presume therapist? what happened.
You cannot walk away with that in your head. Secrecy kills us.
Share the thought. The alcohol wants you to be secretive.
I am just after telling my sister and brother that I want to drink.
It was hard but it gives the voice less power.
It is like a bully, it backs off when it sees you are not going to stay silent.
:ghug3

Weasel1966

I hate day one's. I am having sooooo many panic attacks. What about work? What about all the money I spent drunk yesterday? What about my body I am hurting? I have liver issues and need to go back to doctor soon? Yadda yadda yadda......

I hear you all. I really do. I will not fail at this. Just sometimes ya hit a wall. Good thing I have a hard head. No dents.

Enough whining. Time to get up.

Dee74

just make todays goal to get through today sober Ken. All the rest is white noise.
You can do it

D

Hollyanne

Slow down, your liver won't explode today.
Focus, keep it simple.
No drink today, that is it. The rest can wait.
No drink today, no matter what.

OCDDan

you could print that out and put somewhere you will see it often, heck, i might even to that

Weasel1966

Took a shower and shaved for the first time in two days ( in know ... yuk)

Head is clearing with every passing hour.

Starting to feel like I am back in the land of the living.

Sober is as sober does.

Thanks for the support today.

sugarbear1

What makes you think you aren't an alcoholic?

Weasel1966

I do not recall ever saying or implying that I am not one.

Sapling

Why not go someplace where alcoholics get support and get better?

Nextchapter

Last year after my dad died it hit home that I didn't want to drink until my dying day. That's when I sought therapy and seriously began trying to quit. I've fallen a few times but got up again. I'm on day 3 again, more determined than ever.
I can't beat myself up over the past ... I can only keep trying til i get it right. Don't stop trying!

m1k3

As for your issues with your childhood. I know what that is like. It was my father and I wasn't just worthless, I was always a liar and a quitter. Try this forum. There is a lot of help here for adult children of dysfunctional families.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...holic-parents/

Your friend,

Weasel1966

I stayed sober today. Feeling good that I can start again and stay sober.

Thanks for listening to me today. Appreciate it.

Hevyn

Proud of you Weasel. You'll feel a bit better every day. You'll grow stronger and healthier as the poison leaves you. You'll realize what your step father said was a lie. You are going to lead a good life and be the person you know you are inside.

Vajra

Be Strong. We can all do this.