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I'm new, lost and thought I'd give this a try :)

Old 05-01-2012, 11:18 AM
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I'm new, lost and thought I'd give this a try :)

Hi! I'm James. I've been a reader of this forum for a few months and thought I'd join to share my story and perhaps gain some insight.

I have a drinking problem, It hasn't gotten to the point where I've lost everything but if things don't stop I'm going to. I'm getting married this year and I have a 3 year old daughter and I haven't exactly been the best husband or father. I try, but it's hard to be there when ur hung over. I started off as a dope smoker and actually hated drinking. I still to this day enjoy a puff. I can leave it for weeks or months without even thinking about it and then one day I can have a toke and leave it for just as long. Unfortunatly alcohol and me have a different relationship. I've been drinking everyday for about 6 years and can easily drink a 24 to myself in a day and some. Work nights is usually about 10 beers but days off are brutal. I can got all day without but come 7pm it's all I can think about. I don't remember when this transition started, but one day I realized that booze was more important to me than anything. I can't have just 1 beer, I drink till I pass out. I've tried several different techniques and either way when I run outta booze all I can think about is where and how can I get another beer.

I've been in AA and did a great job. until my sponsor and my group found out I smoke marijuana. After that I was pretty much treated poorly and reemed out as if I was alittle child so I left. and started drinking again. Marijuana isn't ruining my life. But alcohol is...

I want help to quit drinking but it seems to be 100% sober or nothing.... I want support like i got in AA but I'm not searching for total soberity. However I want alcohol to be out of my life completely.I hate who I am when I drink, I hate how I feel, I hate what it does to my family. But I can't seem to say no it. I just did 20 days without alcohol and felt great, Our bills where getting caught up. THings were going well. Then one bad day at work, where i'd normally call my sponsor, boom I was at the beer store and i've been drinking everyday for 2 weeks since.

Is there any hope for someone like me?? I don't want to go on a soberity forum and preach the wonders of marijuana but it's not ruining my life and I believe it to be a wonderful thing. But it seems that because of my pro-marijuana stance I can't get any help. I hate alcohol, but it loves me. I just want some support to kick it and perhaps find someone who feels the same as me.

Thanks for your time,
James
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Old 05-01-2012, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by James85 View Post
Is there any hope for someone like me?? I don't want to go on a soberity forum and preach the wonders of marijuana but it's not ruining my life and I believe it to be a wonderful thing. But it seems that because of my pro-marijuana stance I can't get any help. I hate alcohol, but it loves me. I just want some support to kick it and perhaps find someone who feels the same as me.
Welcome james....I feel the same as you...I drank like you and I got my ass kicked by alcohol....Lost everything...Wife, House, Job...You name it. I liked smoking pot too...But that had to go with acohol....It was a package deal for me...AA worked for me....If I was smoking pot it wouldn't have. It would drag me right back to a drink....I know it. You want to get serious about quitting drinking...Quit smoking pot too. Try living with a clean brain for a change...It's kind of nice.
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Old 05-01-2012, 11:59 AM
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Wecome, James.

I poly-drug abuser for 10 years, especially pot. I quit "illegal" drugs, but keep drinking because, like you said about pot, "it isn't ruining my life."

I was naive, didn't know anything about recovery, sobriety, just knew I had to quit drugs. Twenty-five years later I'm here posting to an alcoholism forum.

You may get a lot of replies that aren't going to be supportive of your marijuana maintenance program. Just bear in mind where most of us are coming from...the turmoil and ravages of all kinds of addictions.

It's not the drug that is always the problem, but what is driving us to use them.

Good luck
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Old 05-01-2012, 12:21 PM
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Hey James

I can't give any advice on this - I know that I can't do one drug and not another, but everyone is different.

But to answer your question, yeah there's hope for a guy like you. But it might not be what you were expecting. Read around on substance misuse and alcoholism and see if you can find what you're looking for. It sounds like you want to hear that you can keep the weed, and hey, maybe that would work for you. And there are definitely people here that use dope as a way to get off booze. But most of us find that it's all or nothing and that drugs are a trigger.

Whatever you end up deciding or going with, massive welcome to SR - whether you're using or not, it's good to meet you!

Still
xx
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Old 05-01-2012, 12:36 PM
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I have had plenty of friends who smoked pot and never drank James so I don't think it's impossible, but I'm not sure these people were ever big drinkers. I've always been a big drinker and avoided drugs because 'I have enough problems with alcohol'. I know as well that being sober has totally changed my mindset...I can't believe how much drinking actually distorted my thinking...I'd imagine pot would do the same thing. Not to sound all after school special but it does sound like smoking pot was a precursor to your alcohol abuse. Is it possible you can't say no to alcohol because you're still smoking pot? It might be worth an experiment...give it all up and see if that helps with the booze.

I hope you find the help you need x

And welcome to SR x
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Old 05-01-2012, 02:31 PM
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Hi James

I can only share my experience.

My experience is I used and abused pot as much as I did alcohol later on - both were about escape for me...both were about feeding the same monster...just a different variety of feed.

I tried to give up one and not the other many many times but it was kinda like giving up coca cola by switching to pepsi for me....I was still running away, still encouraging my addictions...when I was drunk I wanted to get high as well...when I was high I wanted to get drunk.

I had to give up both to really get free and change my life.

D
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