sark

Its been five days for me now. It would have been 19 but i messed up. Anyways is it normal to feel depressed when in the journey of sobriety? I have some delayed grief and other issues so I am not sure if the depression was always there or if its my body adjusting. I just really feel like crap and dont want to be around anyone. I am functioning now and do my responsibilities as a mother, talk with others when I am out but only cause I have too.

soberbythesea

Yes! Lots of us have experienced this. We're used to drowning our feelings with alcohol, so having to actually feel them can be a new experience... plus early sobriety is a tough time anyway, lots of physical and mental adjusting to do.

Hang in there, it will get better.

Sapling

I'd say that's pretty normal....Day five I wasn't even out of detox yet....We have a lot to undo...It takes a little time....Just try to make it through a day at a time.

sark

Ok..I just wonder how long it takes. I have some friends who have been supportive by watching my kids while i was in detox and when i got out holding me accountable. They check in everyday to see how I am doing. I feel like a broken record, I just dont know how to explain it to them when i dont even know whats going on. If i lie and tell them i am fine I dont see what good that does either.

Itchy

Sark, I had my younger brother drop dead suddenly for no apparent reason. He was healthy and did not drink or smoke and had not done either to excess before. That was three weeks into my sobriety in 2010. Then my first cousin my age did the same a couple of weeks later from a massive heart attack. When my brother died I tried to fly to N. New York for the funeral but the one flight there could not be reached when my connecting flight to it broke down stranding me in Dallas. In an airport. I remember thinking that I would have spent the whole day in the airport bars before I quit drinking.

I also said to myself that my being sober would not magically suspend reality and no one would die, all wars end, and politicians would become honest and acceptable in the homes of decent people.

It took several months for me to deal with the grief, and still today more than 18 months later, the memory is tough. I didn't post about it here for several weeks as grief for me is very private.

I flew back home and called my SIL to let them know I would be absent.

That wasn't tough to deal with sober. That was tough to deal with period. Had I still been drinking and made it to the funeral . . . lots of not so nice things could have happened.

Keep your Doc in the loop regardless. It is depressing to stop using a depressant. Weird that.

My wife, kids and friends were all in the loop before I went in to detox. The one thing I let them know was that my drinking was my business just as my sobriety was. I never had legal issues or acted out when drinking. I would not hold them accountable for my sobriety or my drinking, my sobriety is a no-fault sobriety.

Hang in there. And remember that you will get better at getting better! We all do.

sugarbear1

Were you depressed the first time you attempted sobriety for those 19 days? We got high on alcohol, of course we will come down, then things will even out. Give time time. Heal.

Best wishes,

Anna

Definitely, I was depressed in early recovery because I felt I had so much stuff to deal with. However, you will probably find that your depression will lift as the days go by. If not, you can always talk to your dr.

sark

Itchy, I am sorry for your loss. Losing someone you care about is hard. I am learning that just because i lost my husband it does not give me the excuse to use. Many people get through it without chemicals, I am still trying to figure out how though.
I did feel down in those 13 days I did not drink. I dont have a regular doctor cause i just moved here and i dont have indurance. However i am in an outpatient program so i think i will mention my problem to one of the couenselors.

Challenged1

Yep~normal indeed. Like learning to ride a bike, it feels foreign in the early stages of sobriety. 35 days in, I still feel somewhat lost. However, when I go to bed at night sober and wake up in the morning remembering every moment of the day before...I feel at peace with myself and want that everyday.
In the late afternoon, I get anxiety around the time I would normally be drinking. What helps me get through is to bring my laptop outside in the fresh air and read here on SR with an ice cold healthy drink. I really like mineral water on ice with fresh cut strawberries.
It gets easier with time as you begin to see and feel the benefits of not being a prisoner to alcohol, that sobriety is freedom rather than a sacrifice.

hypochondriac

Sounds about right Sark. My depression has been downright comical at times, bursting into tears over nothing etc.. give yourself time and work on feeling better. Go for a walk, do stuff you know will make you happy (not drinking though!). I've limited my time around other people because it stresses me out a bit but I make sure I do some social things too, in manageable chunks. Concentrate on the small stuff and the big stuff will follow.

Hope you feel better soon x

Seasidegirllau

Totally normal sark, all those feelings you swept under the carpet when the booze came out are bound to surface at some point, plus its an emotional time, just take each day as it comes :-)

Itchy

Sark I am sorry for your loss. I made it without chemicals and as long as my Doc said my body was hanging in there I struggled through. Check your messages. The sad part is that my brother was the health nut and I was the military hard drinker and doer of all things crazy all over the world.