Still hiding alcohol
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 448
Hi Joe, You are saving it for yourself, for 'just-in-case'. I don't have an alcohol problem but I had a bad oxy habit for a long time. I had to get rid of my pills and work with a Dr. to get clean and stay clean. If it's still there, it's like being your safety net to fall back on. In my opinion, that's kinda like waiting for failure. If it's there you'll be so much more tempted. Throw it out, dump it, get rid of it. It's been a whole week! WAY TO GO!
After you dump the bottles in the trash, maybe continue on down the road to a meeting for support and sober friendship. You can do this!!
...Ruby...
After you dump the bottles in the trash, maybe continue on down the road to a meeting for support and sober friendship. You can do this!!
...Ruby...
Still hiding alcohol thread.
Heh heh, apologies for chuckling, but when I read your post I was reminded of a time in my life not so long ago when I went into a physical rapid detox in a hospital. Before I left I kept a few bottles in the fridge for when I got out!!! as I thought that I would learn how to drink like a normal person, taper it down and when I got home- Hey Presto!, I would be 'back to normal'. Heh heh, crazy ol'Nat brain thinking there Fortunately that has changed for me.
Now, when I was in detox, I had my spiritual awakening and by day six when I got out I was so petrified of going into my house near the fridge that I got a friend to take the bottles out of the fridge ( I didn't even want to go through the motion of opening a bottle and smelling it and hearing it and looking at it) and asked this friend to put the bottles in the recycle bin (without clanking!) and then put the bin out on the street about five metres up from my house directly under a street light.
I don't particularly find pride helpful , but for me, I knew that my pride (in this case)would always get in the way of me rifling through that bin with the glare of the light shining on me. And in one of those lovely kismet moments, the rubbish was collected that night I still smile when I think about that time in my life
Anyway, seems like you're actually thinking about what you're doing as opposed to compulsively doing it, so kudos to you! Thanks for sharing.
Luv, Nat.
Now, when I was in detox, I had my spiritual awakening and by day six when I got out I was so petrified of going into my house near the fridge that I got a friend to take the bottles out of the fridge ( I didn't even want to go through the motion of opening a bottle and smelling it and hearing it and looking at it) and asked this friend to put the bottles in the recycle bin (without clanking!) and then put the bin out on the street about five metres up from my house directly under a street light.
I don't particularly find pride helpful , but for me, I knew that my pride (in this case)would always get in the way of me rifling through that bin with the glare of the light shining on me. And in one of those lovely kismet moments, the rubbish was collected that night I still smile when I think about that time in my life
Anyway, seems like you're actually thinking about what you're doing as opposed to compulsively doing it, so kudos to you! Thanks for sharing.
Luv, Nat.
Dump it and fight like hell to keeps yourself busy until the liquor store closes. When I was in early sobriety I used to have to plan down to the minute what I was going to do until the option to buy alcohol was over for that day.
Dump it. Please? You'll feel so much better when you do.
Good luck and congratulations on resisting temptation so far.
*EDIT*
Just saw the post that you dumped it!
GOOD FOR YOU! =D
Dump it. Please? You'll feel so much better when you do.
Good luck and congratulations on resisting temptation so far.
*EDIT*
Just saw the post that you dumped it!
GOOD FOR YOU! =D
Glad you dumped it. Sorry if i sounded rough but sometimes we need that swift kick in that rear to propel us into action. Keep moving forward! The first few steps are the hardest but when you get going it's easier to keep going.
I'm glad you dumped it, but I am writing this for those of us still saving it for a rainy day.
I stockpile because I don't trust that this time recovery is going to "take" and "work". So I want to be ready for when it doesn't work and I NEED something to get me through.
I want to KNOW recovery is going to be enough, before I let go of my old noncoping mechanisms.
Stupid..yes, because unless and until I am willing to face every single thing clean...inevitably I WILL turn to my stockpile and use.
Now, I will also tell you this..I know that many of the things I used in the past don't work...so they are off the table, but I am not sure that I have decided I won't just turn to some other substance or process.
It was never the substance or process that were really the problem they were SYMPTOMS of the problem. They caused problems themselves, but the real issue is and always has been my fear of facing life on my own.
Until I truly and fully address that, I will never be done with using.
I stockpile because I don't trust that this time recovery is going to "take" and "work". So I want to be ready for when it doesn't work and I NEED something to get me through.
I want to KNOW recovery is going to be enough, before I let go of my old noncoping mechanisms.
Stupid..yes, because unless and until I am willing to face every single thing clean...inevitably I WILL turn to my stockpile and use.
Now, I will also tell you this..I know that many of the things I used in the past don't work...so they are off the table, but I am not sure that I have decided I won't just turn to some other substance or process.
It was never the substance or process that were really the problem they were SYMPTOMS of the problem. They caused problems themselves, but the real issue is and always has been my fear of facing life on my own.
Until I truly and fully address that, I will never be done with using.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
It was never the substance or process that were really the problem they were SYMPTOMS of the problem. They caused problems themselves, but the real issue is and always has been my fear of facing life on my own.
Until I truly and fully address that, I will never be done with using.
Until I truly and fully address that, I will never be done with using.
Every time I choose to NOT use, and face things sober, I learn that I don't have to use, to face things.
I can dump the booze and pills, but I still find myself stockpiling fear. Ugh.
I have this written on the wall next to my bed "ask yourself what a hopeful person would do in this situation, then try it"
That's what I do, when my tunnel vision doesn't keep me from seeing what is right next to my head.
I can dump the booze and pills, but I still find myself stockpiling fear. Ugh.
I have this written on the wall next to my bed "ask yourself what a hopeful person would do in this situation, then try it"
That's what I do, when my tunnel vision doesn't keep me from seeing what is right next to my head.
4-23-2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 32
I appreciate all of the great responses. I'm still clean and sober. I've made it this long before. But hopefully being honest and open about it will keep me away from that first drink. Its never safe to have that one drink for me, even though it seems like it should be.
Last year I went 4 months without a drink. I thought it would be fine to have a few, back in October, I've struggled with it since then.
Anyway, I just have to fill my time with other activities.
Last year I went 4 months without a drink. I thought it would be fine to have a few, back in October, I've struggled with it since then.
Anyway, I just have to fill my time with other activities.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,680
I noticed living life in the present moment fills up a lot of time.
Being responsible for making the correct choice isn't always easy, but it is very empowering.
Being responsible for making the correct choice isn't always easy, but it is very empowering.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)