MycoolFitz

I have been reading a lot of the posts and I don't know how to respond so much anymore because I thought I had my tou know what together, and I blew it. But then I thought I have my sobriety today. But then I thought, I want to drink, I'm having really bad PTSD dreams and drunk seemed to work. Then I thought, tough it up soldier, it never worked. Thought of a line in a country song "I thought of killing myself but it made no sense comitting suicide in self defense". So I posted, again. And am heading to a meeting, not because I like them but because like is not the issue. So I guess I'd like support because today I am a fragile drunk but today I am a sober drunk.
Day 51ish

stillsleeping

I'll always tell you...I like it when you post. It gives me courage when you ask for help. I like knowing that other people feel fragile and scared too.

I'm glad you're sober today

Love you xxx

GracieJane

I've found a lot of wisdom in your posts so please don't stop. I wish you peace and strength. You have all my support, and I'll be sending good thoughts your way...

MycoolFitz

Thanks I don't mean to be needy but I need needing. Today has been/is tuff but I guess that is what real life is, I'm so tired of the easy solution. So now I just resigned up with the Wounded Warrior project to volunteer. I need to remember in giving I get so much. Like I could blame stuff on PTSD and get off easy. But for me sobriety is not easy but it is priceless. Support wounded vets and their families. Namaste

Dispatches

I wish I had something powerful to say to you. I admire you posting and asking for help, that vulnerability is not easy.

As they say choice not circumstance determines your success. We can blame our circumstances and make that an excuse to be miserable and control our lives, but we all know where that leads.

Hang in there!

stillsleeping

This is perfect. I may ask H to tattoo ke with this one day.

I'm learning to be okay with needing other people. With needing help. I would never have done that before I came here. I didn't even do a newbie introduction, just dove in and started helping everyone else. It's terrifying and beautiful for me to say to you guys, I'm scared, and I need your help. Seriously, my palms are sweating just typing that.

But it's true. I can't do this without you. Can't believe I just said it twice.

Not needy. Real.

That volunter thing sounds great, will you let us know how it goes?

Xxxx

MentalLoop

Hey Fitz...mind sharing any stories from Service or details? What segment of the armed forces, notable tours, things like that? Not asking if you killed or saw death (and I know that is begging for a response in and of itself) - just trying to get to know you better.

Tuitiefruitie

I like your posts too. They make me feel that I'm not alone.

MycoolFitz

Really can't say much now but yes, simple Fie, a joke. I was in the daze of draftees so I beat the vsystem by enlisting. No wonder I'm a drunk. But just got a call from a local center for homeless vets wanting me to help. I told them my story, they said don't worry just show up sober, sounds like a tour.

MycoolFitz

I know, Dee, too full of myself, I should have your calm but don't live in the Pacific or even the specific. But doing better, sometimes its just waiting it out, sometimes just laughing.

m1k3

You were one of Uncle Sam's misguided children as well? 71-74.

Dee74

this calm sometimes takes a lot of effort Fitz LOL
sometimes I still zig when I should have zagged
you're doin' great

D

instant

Fitz. You are a big part of this place.

MycoolFitz

yes those years

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Read more at Dwight D. Eisenhower Quotes - BrainyQuote

MycoolFitz

I had a full deck I thought, but it was the joker :_)

aussieblue

Hi Fitz, my day wouldn't be the same without a MycoolFitz post to start the day. Thats what this place is for , we are here to listen and support if we can .I can't imagine what you have been through but my heart goes out to you. :ghug3

MycoolFitz

I love that song by Cohen

desertsong

Fitz, I have found reading about your journey very inspirational. I truly do hope you keep posting. I would miss you if you stopped.

DisplacedGRITS

Keep posting Fritz. The hand of recovery can't reach back if you don't continue to reach out for it. None of us are expected to walk this path alone.

aussieblue

Me to Fitz, he's brilliant !