married10

So me and my stbxah are still currently living together. He won't move out, and probably won't until all is said and done in the courts. And even though court date is set for in August, I have a really good feeling that his lawyer and him will get it postponed or delayed or whatever. He has always been good or getting his way with that through all his DUI court hearings. So even though they say august, I'm sure I still won't be free of him til like December!

I think at times he thinks that we will work. For the most part people looking in would think we are working it out. we go to all the family things together, school activities and etc.. pretty much just like a normal family. I don't fight with him, I don't cause scenes, I just don't do really do anything that needs to have emotion and meaning behind it with him. I don't and haven't slept in the same room with him since August 2010, yet he for some reasons thinks that coming up to my bed and trying to cuddle and tell me he loves me is going to fix things... I just pretty much stiffen up and don't say a word, I don't even tell him to leave. I just shut my mouth and figure he will go eventually and he does.

So in the past 20 days or so he has come home drinking 3 times (yes drinking and driving) and even attempted to once drive our 6 year old home. and yet I didn't even say a word, just went over told our 6 year old he needed to help mom take out the groceries and to ride with me.

and its so funny cause when I bring anything up about the divorce, its shut the door as fast as he can on the subject. I think he was shocked that I gave him 1/2 the fed tax refund with out a fight after he lawyer requested, I was going to fight for it all to put it in the kiddos, but figured screw it just money, but the state refund was 75% mine that I deposited money into and not him, and when I asked why it was garnished, once again because of back child support... but he just got all defensive, I asked HIM, what do you feel is fair... and he just shuts down. How he can't see why this relationship will never work is beyond me.

I just wish I could get him to move out, leave me to whats left of my sanity, but I think cause I don't fight with him or show emotion that we are going to somehow come through this. Am I leading him on? Should I be screaming and yelling and making his life miserable, is that how they finally get it?

Pelican

I believe you are trying to create a calm environment in your home, and that is an honorable thing. Yelling and making his life miserable would likely make you and your child miserable.

I notice you are focused on how he feels, and how he thinks and what he may be imagining is going on.

How is your recovery going?
How is your focus on your needs?
How are your feelings and your thoughts being dealt with?

suki44883

I don't think you are leading him on, and you are right not to fight or yell and scream at him, as much as you might want to. I do think, if it were me, I would put a lock on my bedroom door.

Cyranoak

Of course he thinks that. You are still living with him, let him get his way in most things, and you are still living with him. Oh, and you are still living with him.

If you can't move him, then you move. If you won't move, this is what you get. The bonus is your child gets to witness it in the meantime.

Please consider moving, even if it will inconvenience you or your child. Please also consider Alanon.

Good luck,

Cyranoak

P.s. You are still living with him.