Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Finding Our Own Truth

We must each discover our own truth.

It does not help us if those we love find their truth. They cannot give it to us. It does not help if someone we love knows a particular truth in our life. We must discover our truth for ourselves.

We must each discover and stand in our own light.

We often need to struggle, fail, and be confused and frustrated. That's how we break through our struggle; that's how we learn what is true and right for ourselves.

We can share information with others. Others can tell us what may predictably happen if we pursue a particular course. But it will not mean anything until we integrate the message and it becomes our truth, our discovery, and our knowledge.

There is no easy way to break through and find our truth.

But we can and will, if we want to.

We may want to make it easier. We may nervously run to friends, asking them to give us their truth or make our discovery easier. They cannot. Light will shed itself in its own time.

Each of us has our own share of truth, waiting to reveal itself to us. Each of us has our own share of the light, waiting for us to stand in it, to claim it as ours.

Encouragement helps. Support helps. A firm belief that each person has truth available - appropriate to each situation - is what will help.

Each experience, each frustration, each situation, has its own truth waiting to be revealed. Don't give up until you find it - for yourself.

We shall be guided into truth, if we are seeking it. We are not alone.

Today, I will search for my own truth, and I will allow others to do the same. I will place value on my vision and the vision of others. We are each on the journey, making our own discoveries - the ones that are right for us today.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Found

Ann

I heard information and sharing, early in recovery, that I KNEW was true (and helpful). I heard how others changed their lives and stepped out of the darkness and into the light. I read, I listened and I paid attention...and I learned that I needed to take all this good healthy information and make it fit in "my" life. I needed to do for myself what others could not do for me. I needed to change.

I knew I had hit some solid recovery the day I was able to stand in my own truth....even if I stood alone. When I could set boundaries that were not popular with those around me, when I let my own virtue be enough, when I could express myself clearly and calmly and not worry if anyone validated my feelings...this was recovery in motion.

And I am forever grateful to all those who shared their light until I could find my own.

Hugs

Kindeyes

This was so very key for me. I spent a lot of time trying to get others to validate what I already knew......as though it wasn't really true until others agreed with me. Now I too can stand more firmly in my own truth and be comfortable in it. Not in an "I'm right" egotistical manner filled with righteous indignation but in a quiet, peaceful, I'm-comfortable-in-my-own-skin kind of way.

I have setbacks but I have come a long long way. Thank you Ann. You have been one of my mentors in this process.

gentle hugs
ke

yez5

Ann these words really touch a nerve in me. I feel as if my whole life has been a constant search for validation and acceptance from others to feel whole. This is something I am fighting against to remove from within me. I know that is why I am here now. But how do you know when it comes to you? Is there an AHA! moment? Will there be a light? I just want to make sure I don't miss it. Because lately I am running on anger, misery and the fumes of momentary happiness.

LoveMeNow

Wow, Awesome post and at the exact time for me.

I am searching for my own truth and it is still scaring me!

Ann

For me it took time and a lot of work. I went to meetings and learned to work the steps with a sponsor, and I listened to those who went before me. It came a while after I took my focus off my son and everyone else and began to work on me.

I was able to stand in my own truth when I was confident that my heart and my head were in a healthy place, when I found enough self-esteem to know what my values were.

There is a saying here "What others think of me is none of my business". That's huge for us people-pleasing codies. What matters is what we think of ourselves.

When the time comes you will know it. It may be the first time you say "no" and mean it. It may be when you share something deep about yourself with people who are safe, here or at a meeting, and then know in your heart that just being able to say it out loud was healing and that your feelings are valid....because you KNOW they are.

It will happen, and when it does you will love the freedom and courage it brings you.

Hugs

yez5

This one sentence really shook me up. It's so simple and obvious. But it had never crossed my mind. Thank you Ann

Ann

I posted on your thread below, but this is exactly what I mean. You are "there" girl, you "get it". Well done.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3377593