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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 7
Newcomer!
Hey all, I hope all of you are well.
I am a mid-twenties college graduate. I started partying at the normal age and my friends and I really liked to cut loose and get crazy when we could. Through college, I retained good grades despite being a moderate drug users. I smoked pot a lot, did psychedelics every now and then, but ran into a cocaine problem for about a year.
I don't do any drugs anymore, except marijuana occasionally. (I'm a musician and sometimes it helps!)
I drank heavily throughout my early 20's in a social party setting. However recently, I went through a bad breakup and started drinking to alleviate stress. Even though the pain of the breakup is gone, I still drink heavily and experience near daily episodes that I can only attribute to alcohol withdrawals.
Now, I can go through weeks of sobriety and feeling great, but will run into a week or two of really drunken nights and withdrawal days.
I want to cut down, but all my friends like to drink and I do to especially when i'm watching the game, fishing, whatever.
What do you thin?
I am a mid-twenties college graduate. I started partying at the normal age and my friends and I really liked to cut loose and get crazy when we could. Through college, I retained good grades despite being a moderate drug users. I smoked pot a lot, did psychedelics every now and then, but ran into a cocaine problem for about a year.
I don't do any drugs anymore, except marijuana occasionally. (I'm a musician and sometimes it helps!)
I drank heavily throughout my early 20's in a social party setting. However recently, I went through a bad breakup and started drinking to alleviate stress. Even though the pain of the breakup is gone, I still drink heavily and experience near daily episodes that I can only attribute to alcohol withdrawals.
Now, I can go through weeks of sobriety and feeling great, but will run into a week or two of really drunken nights and withdrawal days.
I want to cut down, but all my friends like to drink and I do to especially when i'm watching the game, fishing, whatever.
What do you thin?
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome ohwhattheheck!
I think you're really wise to listen to that "sneaking suspicion" that you have a drinking problem. That's usually the case with those of us that come here!
There's some pretty big red flags: drinking to deal with emotions/stress, daily drinking, hangovers/withdrawals..... It sounds like your drinking has progressed over time, too, which is also typical of alcoholism. If you've had thoughts about cutting down before and haven't succeeded, you're in the right place!
Glad you're here!
I think you're really wise to listen to that "sneaking suspicion" that you have a drinking problem. That's usually the case with those of us that come here!
There's some pretty big red flags: drinking to deal with emotions/stress, daily drinking, hangovers/withdrawals..... It sounds like your drinking has progressed over time, too, which is also typical of alcoholism. If you've had thoughts about cutting down before and haven't succeeded, you're in the right place!
Glad you're here!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
Hi ohwhattheheck - welcome 
Have you tried cutting down yet?
If you're a drinker like me, cutting down is an exercise in futility...
I was a musician too - my self image was bound up in drinking and drugging - I lost my career, my talent, my creativity and nearly my life because I couldn't give up getting wasted.
If you find, like I did, that you can't cut down, be smarter than I was and accept the reality WTH...
I'm glad I did - I had to make a lot of changes but my life is awesome now - and I'm playing & writing again
you'll find a lot of support here...
D
Have you tried cutting down yet?
If you're a drinker like me, cutting down is an exercise in futility...
I was a musician too - my self image was bound up in drinking and drugging - I lost my career, my talent, my creativity and nearly my life because I couldn't give up getting wasted.
If you find, like I did, that you can't cut down, be smarter than I was and accept the reality WTH...
I'm glad I did - I had to make a lot of changes but my life is awesome now - and I'm playing & writing again
you'll find a lot of support here...
D
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Welcome to SR! If you find that your using is negatively effecting your life and you tend to lose controle over your using then yes, you're in the right place. With drug and alcohol use, it's more common that people have a problem and deny it than people see problems in themselves that aren't there. You can still party with your friends but using doesn't have to be part of your "good time."that when someone offers me something, i say "no thanks." They offer again, i say "nah, i'm good." Eventually people stop asking questions they already know the answer to. If someone prys as to why i'm not drinking (how rude!) I usually just tell them that i don't feel like it or i'm kinda watching my figure. Then i turn the conversation back on them (so what's going on with work? How's the girlfriend? Blah blah blah) and that usually ends it. People love talking about themselves!
Partying without drinking is very possible. It just seems strange to us because we've never tried it before.
Partying without drinking is very possible. It just seems strange to us because we've never tried it before.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 7
Thank you for the words of encouragement!
There is a nagging part of me that doesn't want to give up drinking totally.
My father was an alcoholic when he was younger, but as long as I can remember he never drinks more than one beer after work.
I would like to think that I could still socially drink without going overboard. And often times I do just that.
Anyone here who has the self-control down?
There is a nagging part of me that doesn't want to give up drinking totally.
My father was an alcoholic when he was younger, but as long as I can remember he never drinks more than one beer after work.
I would like to think that I could still socially drink without going overboard. And often times I do just that.
Anyone here who has the self-control down?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Not one for self control myself. And I think I actually did try too. There were times when I'd alternate alcoholic drinks with water, always start the night on a soft drink, don't drink til after 6pm...all those little rules that people tell you to help control your drinking. I stuck to the rules but alcohol was still a major problem for me.
If you try to moderate and it doesn't seem to work do consider abstinence as an option.
Welcome to SR
If you try to moderate and it doesn't seem to work do consider abstinence as an option.
Welcome to SR
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,506
Welcome ohwhattheheck! Wise of you to be taking a look at what alcohol's doing to your life. I once drank like you, but ended up completely dependent on it later in life. I played with moderating for many years, but as I got older, it no longer worked.
It isn't how often you drink, but what happens to you when you do. I'm sure you've heard how alcoholism is a progressive disease. You say you can sometimes drink socially with no repercussions - and those are the times that fool us into thinking we do have control. For an alcoholic, eventually willpower - or good intentions - don't cut it.
Glad you are here - please let us know how it's going.
It isn't how often you drink, but what happens to you when you do. I'm sure you've heard how alcoholism is a progressive disease. You say you can sometimes drink socially with no repercussions - and those are the times that fool us into thinking we do have control. For an alcoholic, eventually willpower - or good intentions - don't cut it.
Glad you are here - please let us know how it's going.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
You have received good advice from the others. I never really factored into my years of drinking that alcohol is an addictive substance. It is more subtle then heroin or other drugs, but to me it is more insidious. The more you drink the more you want / need. I think once it is causing you trouble it is very hard to get the genie back into the bottle.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Northern Ohio
Posts: 6
Hi, ohwhattheheck, and welcome!
I used to try cutting back. I would set limits on how many drinks I could have, when I could have them, and where I could have them. It never worked for me. It was just a matter of time (and not much of it) until I was finding exceptions to the rules and convincing myself that just a bit more wouldn't hurt. Every time I tried cutting back it worked for a couple days or a week or sometimes even two weeks, but I always ended up back where I started.
I didn't want to give it up totally either. After a while though I realized that, for me, cutting back just wasn't an option. Anyway, everything that I would have wanted a drink for I can do without one, and probably enjoy myself more without the worry of going too far. Can't drink too much if you don't drink at all!
If you try cutting back, I wish you the best of luck. If it doesn't work, I hope you'll consider quitting entirely. You'll find a ton of supportive people here; I definitely have.
I used to try cutting back. I would set limits on how many drinks I could have, when I could have them, and where I could have them. It never worked for me. It was just a matter of time (and not much of it) until I was finding exceptions to the rules and convincing myself that just a bit more wouldn't hurt. Every time I tried cutting back it worked for a couple days or a week or sometimes even two weeks, but I always ended up back where I started.
I didn't want to give it up totally either. After a while though I realized that, for me, cutting back just wasn't an option. Anyway, everything that I would have wanted a drink for I can do without one, and probably enjoy myself more without the worry of going too far. Can't drink too much if you don't drink at all!
If you try cutting back, I wish you the best of luck. If it doesn't work, I hope you'll consider quitting entirely. You'll find a ton of supportive people here; I definitely have.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome to SR!
Your story sounds a lot like mine: mid-twenties musician, college grad, not many drugs other than booze. I think my drinking habits were a little different than yours are, but that's not too important. I used to only have drinking friends too, but lots of them split when they realized I was getting sober for good.
I know my life is a lot less crazy now that I'm not drinking. I feel healthier on all fronts: mental, physical, spiritual. Being sober hasn't deprived me of much -- except a whole lot of pain. I've been sober for a year and I'm not going back to my old life ever again. Now that drinking is off the table I've been able to move on with my life. I feel like this is a pretty important time in my life and I'm sure you feel the same. This is the time when we are really defining ourselves as adults, beginning to build our careers and families, etc. It's a great stage of life to be sober in.
Best wishes,
Your story sounds a lot like mine: mid-twenties musician, college grad, not many drugs other than booze. I think my drinking habits were a little different than yours are, but that's not too important. I used to only have drinking friends too, but lots of them split when they realized I was getting sober for good.
I know my life is a lot less crazy now that I'm not drinking. I feel healthier on all fronts: mental, physical, spiritual. Being sober hasn't deprived me of much -- except a whole lot of pain. I've been sober for a year and I'm not going back to my old life ever again. Now that drinking is off the table I've been able to move on with my life. I feel like this is a pretty important time in my life and I'm sure you feel the same. This is the time when we are really defining ourselves as adults, beginning to build our careers and families, etc. It's a great stage of life to be sober in.
Best wishes,
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
And to answer your question about moderation -- I never thought that 1 or 2 beers sounded like much fun. I'd just as soon have an iced tea if I wasn't going to get blitzed off my ass. Honestly, the rare times when I did have just a few I ended up just geting irritable because I wanted more. It took a minor epiphany to realize this, but it's something that's helped me not be envious of those who can drink socially without going overboard.
Maybe you're different than me in that respect, though.
Maybe you're different than me in that respect, though.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by eJoshua 
Welcome to SR!
Your story sounds a lot like mine: mid-twenties musician, college grad, not many drugs other than booze. I think my drinking habits were a little different than yours are, but that's not too important. I used to only have drinking friends too, but lots of them split when they realized I was getting sober for good.
I know my life is a lot less crazy now that I'm not drinking. I feel healthier on all fronts: mental, physical, spiritual. Being sober hasn't deprived me of much -- except a whole lot of pain. I've been sober for a year and I'm not going back to my old life ever again. Now that drinking is off the table I've been able to move on with my life. I feel like this is a pretty important time in my life and I'm sure you feel the same. This is the time when we are really defining ourselves as adults, beginning to build our careers and families, etc. It's a great stage of life to be sober in.
Best wishes,
Your story sounds a lot like mine: mid-twenties musician, college grad, not many drugs other than booze. I think my drinking habits were a little different than yours are, but that's not too important. I used to only have drinking friends too, but lots of them split when they realized I was getting sober for good.
I know my life is a lot less crazy now that I'm not drinking. I feel healthier on all fronts: mental, physical, spiritual. Being sober hasn't deprived me of much -- except a whole lot of pain. I've been sober for a year and I'm not going back to my old life ever again. Now that drinking is off the table I've been able to move on with my life. I feel like this is a pretty important time in my life and I'm sure you feel the same. This is the time when we are really defining ourselves as adults, beginning to build our careers and families, etc. It's a great stage of life to be sober in.
Best wishes,
This makes a lot of sense about it being a good time to be sober. I just started a new job and I am hoping that will be the motivation for me to cut back. I plan on trying moderation first and see how it goes.
If I stick to beer I don't the nagging to keep drinking. But if start drinking hard liquor, then that's it.
So that is my first step.
Thanks for the support!
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Yes, I have self control. I never pick up that first drink
I wish ya luck, but I have never known an alcoholic (not that you are one) that could moderate.. if any of us here could moderate, we wouldn't need this forum.
I wish ya luck, but I have never known an alcoholic (not that you are one) that could moderate.. if any of us here could moderate, we wouldn't need this forum.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13
Hi ohwhattheheck,
A lot of what you described sounds familiar to me. I partied as a young adult along with my friends. I experimented with drugs. I had that same uncomfortable feeling, the little voice in me that said, I think I might have a problem. But I didn't want to give up my friends or my lifestyle. Fast forward a couple decades and it all caught up to me. Now I feel the same anxiety about quitting, "I'll lose my friends", "I'll have to give up being the party girl" And honestly... I'm not sure how to NOT be that party girl. It's the thing that has kept me from getting sober. But the affects of drinking take a toll on your body.
Just be honest with yourself. If something inside you is telling you this may be a problem for you... Listen! Don't waste decades of your life.
I'm sober three days... It sounds so silly to me. Is there anything else in life that we count from day one? I can't think of one.
A lot of what you described sounds familiar to me. I partied as a young adult along with my friends. I experimented with drugs. I had that same uncomfortable feeling, the little voice in me that said, I think I might have a problem. But I didn't want to give up my friends or my lifestyle. Fast forward a couple decades and it all caught up to me. Now I feel the same anxiety about quitting, "I'll lose my friends", "I'll have to give up being the party girl" And honestly... I'm not sure how to NOT be that party girl. It's the thing that has kept me from getting sober. But the affects of drinking take a toll on your body.
Just be honest with yourself. If something inside you is telling you this may be a problem for you... Listen! Don't waste decades of your life.
I'm sober three days... It sounds so silly to me. Is there anything else in life that we count from day one? I can't think of one.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Your dad and mine, not willing to give up the booze. That's 2 that I know who can moderate. Oh, my dad has had many problems with growths, he just gets them cut out. Some malignant, some benign. Hasn't stopped him from drinking.
Best wishes!
Best wishes!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 7
Thanks sugarbear for the response! My dad has been sober (not drunk one time) in over 20 years. He saw that providing for his family is more important. I respect him for being able to have beer every now and then while being a well-paid professional and a member in the community. It shows a self-control that I hope I have inside me as well.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
However recently, I went through a bad breakup and started drinking to alleviate stress. Even though the pain of the breakup is gone, I still drink heavily and experience near daily episodes that I can only attribute to alcohol withdrawals.
Like others here, I wish you well heck - but don't spend too much time on this - if you must, set yourself a finite time to moderate successfully or not...and stick to that...don't waste 20 years on this like I did.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by ohwhattheheck
If I stick to beer I don't the nagging to keep drinking. But if start drinking hard liquor, then that's it.
So that is my first step.
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