amit0861

i feel myself, such a big LOSER,,i had promised that i wont drink..then again i drink...this relapse has frustrated me..i have thought of everything that i could do but it wont work....

Praise7

nothing works until you make it work

TigerLili

That's a little harsh, Praise7.

amit0861, I really feel for you every day I say I'm not drinking today, but more often than not I do. I don't know how I got 2.5 years of sobriety in AA but I hope I can get back there again.

What have you tried in the past to stop drinking?

artsoul

Hi amit - you're not a loser, because that would make us all losers too! It's not easy - especially at first - to get rid of an addiction. We have to have help and support. I found it virtually impossible to do it on my own, because I couldn't battle my own thinking.

I came here everyday - sometimes for hours - because I needed to hear what others had done to stay sober and I needed support. It's hard when you're surrounded by college drinking buddies, but the truth is there are people who aren't there to party......

Maybe try out some other activities/clubs where you can meet people...... Most universities offer counseling services, too. There's always AA and SR, of course. We're here for you!

SoberMan2012

Amit, I have made being sober my number 1 priorty I study sober living and I have spiritual practice. Today is a wonderful day to not take that first drink. Today is a great day to recover my true self. Today is a great day to nuture my relationship with the Higher Power, today is a great day to learn about self love, today is a great day to learn about loving others. It is just today, just dont drink today, and keep trying. At least you are fighting back and trying to recover, you are in a race against yourself, it is your journey, you are not competing against anyone. If you practice staying sober, you will improve at being sober. Practice makes the master, repitition makes the master.

Gottalife

Hi Amit, I got sober when I was 22 through AA. I remember my first attempt, just going to about two meetings a week and not committing to the process, but I managed three weeks sobriety, then drank. I came back to AA a few days later and told them what had happened. Somehow they kinda new anyway. So I couldn't see how I would ever get three weeks up again. That's 21 whole days, a very long time to go without a drink. They told me one day at a time. That was 32 years ago and I ain't had a drink since. Of course it wasnn't quite that simple, i had to do a lot of work and make my sobriety my number one priority. I went to lots of meetings, took the steps and followed other suggestions. But it did work and it can work for you too. All I needed to make a start was honesty, open mindednes and willingness.

God bless,
Mike H.

ACT10Npack

What does not kill you makes your stronger. Relapse is just part of recovery. You will never learn until you go through it. Learn from your last relapse and try to understand why you got to that point.

Dee74

Hi amit0861

try not to beat yourself up too much - whats done is done.

Instead of being down on what happened maybe it's best to accept it as sign that you need to tweak what you've been doing?

I don;t know what kind of support network you have or what kind of recovery method you subscribe to...but whenever we drink again I think we need to admit we need to try another approach....it's a chance to step back and look at what else we can do- what can we add?

I don't believe relapse is part of recovery - relapse is actually still part of addiction....

but we can definitely learn from our mistakes and finally, utterly make that quantum leap over to the other side

You're not alone here - glad you're back with us

D

amit0861

thanks guys for your support ...i have tried all kinds of things except AA

Eddiebuckle

Amit,

Sobriety is not easy, but it is simple. You have to be willing to forego whatever it is that alcohol brings for you. For me, I got to the point where the prospect of living my life as an alcoholic scared me more than dying.

The truth is, alcohol and drugs are an escape that work, with the unfortunate side effect of isloating us and imprisoning us in a cycle of self delusion. There are many ways to get sober, but in my experience any long term sobriety requires that we learn to face our fears. AA's big book talks about living a life that demands rigorous honesty, and although I didn't particularly care for all the god-stuff and the steps initially, I can see why I needed them to get and stay sober. We can make the conscious choice to not drink/use for many consecutive days, but eventually life will throw a curveball and we have to make the real choice: learn to deal with painful and difficult situations honestly, or use. It is when we are faced with the things we fear most that we need a higher power, because we alone cannot get past our fears - there is nothing conscious or within our will power to get past our deepest fears.

I wish you well Amit. Keep posting.

amit0861

The main problem is i cant handle more than a week......soon after friends call up.... and i cant say no to a drinking buddy..thats the problem...i automatically comes to a yes although my mind doesnt need it,,but my body urges

DisplacedGRITS

The most important thing is to keep trying. If you stop, you have no hope of success. Try attacking your addiction from different angles. AA, therapy, rehab, medications...try something new. Doing the same thing again won't work.

amit0861

how to say no to a friend !?

instant

To get to a different place we have to review, learn and try new things.

Sapling

It's usually the last place people go....People don't like the name of it...I know I didn't. It has the word "Alcoholic" in it. When I accepted the fact that I was one....It made it easier for me to go. I went...Listened...Did what they did...I haven't had a drink since. Hhhmmmm. Maybe for once in my life...If I just listen and follow directions I can get out of this mess?....Maybe my way doesn't work?...Maybe I'm tired of being beaten over and over by this liquid?...Maybe I'm done fighting it? Maybe I should just admit I have no control over it.

doggonecarl

You say, "No."

If you feel they need an explaination, tell them you think you have a problem with drinking and want to see how you feel if you quit for a little while. Your friends will understand. If they don't, they aren't your friends and you will need to cut them out of your life if you truly plan on recovering.

gordano

I can totally relate to what you are saying. For me, its easy to quit drinking for a few weeks. I feel great, proud of myself, and can feel my confidence grow. However, after a few weeks, being sober just gets boring and my AV starts to convince me that I can handle a little bit of alcohol. This usually starts of with 1 or two beers maybe once or twice a week. I can handle this for a month or so until I start to crave Vodka. My AV then reasons that since I've handled a few beers, why not a few shots? So I buy a bottle and then I have a 1-2 beers + 1-2 shots a few times a week when I get stressed. After a few weeks my AV then convinces me that I can handle drinking again since I have been in control of my drinking for several months. The flood gates then open and I am drinking vodka until I pass out each night. This is how my addition works.

6 days sober

serious

amit, not sure if my advice would count at the moment, but i know exactly what you mean. when i first was getting sober my friends (aka drinking buddies) were almost angry with the fact that i didn't want to go out with them or have a beer or whatever.
because of my job i get to go to a lot of social gatherings, which means liquor... certain people find it "disrespectful" to refuse a glass of wine.
so i had every excuse, from having to drive (obviously), to must be at work very early, must finish presentation overnight, have to get to the gym (which i did)... and once or twice i pretended to get a phone call and say "sorry, i must go", because the pressure was just getting too much.

now, my real friends said... "good for you, keep it up!" (about me not drinking)... so there is always a question of someone valuing you as a true friend or a drinking buddy. big difference.

Threshold

Well, if we can stop for a day, or a week, or a month, then we know we can stop, what we are now facing is why we don't choose to STAY stopped.

You have identified an issue with saying "no" to a friend. So...is the issue fear of rejection? Is the issue fearing loneliness? Is the issue feeling like a "wimp" to admit one can't "handle" booze?

Sometimes, by identifying what the underlying issue is, and deciding to give that up, to realize sobriety is a greater and more worthwhile priority, we can move on. And when that issue arises again, remind ourselves that we already made a decision that we would face that issue sober.

MsJax

One way I started to look at that issue (friends wanting to party) is that I really began to examine my friendships. It turns out that I had so many people in my life in which the only common bond was booze. That's not a true friendship. They especially liked it when I was buying. Or doing something so stupid they got a good laugh and something to talk about. So much time spent drunk with people I'm not even bonded with? That's just silly. Once I quit drinking they were no longer there, or tried to get me to drink, so I was right. They weren't real friends. I still see them around & now their lives appear boring and shallow to me, wasted.