Seasidegirllau

So no booze in my system since friday night...go to work this morning with breakfast in my tummy, my vitamins and a coffee to set me up for the day. Couldn't care less if a policeman drives past caus he aint gonna have nothin on me...this girls sober ;-) Feel so confident and enthusiastic about the day, no clock watching waiting till i can get home and glug wine!!! Im organised, not a ball of anxiety and stress! Listen to my music in my car and sing my heart out between my visits, usually im so weary and sluggish its a job in itself to even focus on the road and where im going!!!

Finish my day, come home and have tea, usually food would be sacrificed...no room for food if i want to drink!!! So i have my night all planned out, bath, maybe have a browse on ebay, watch some t.v and have a nice cuppa tea and a few biscuits for supper :-)

See i was in such a rut, the very thought of going a night without the focus of a drink terrified me..what would i do with my evening, how would i relax without a glass in my hand, what would possibly stop my mind from racing without the numbing effect of alcohol???!!

Im not going into this thinking "its a miracle" "im cured" but at the same time i have to have faith..and i think we all do...faith in our ability to be focused and
see alcohol for what it really is...NOTHING!!

I was thinking last night about how a few days ago the very thought of not having alcohol in my life made me question what would be the point, it was the center of all my enjoyment...i now realise even in the couple of days ive been sober that everything in my life is so much better without a hangover or the anxiety of planning my next drink, the limitations i tried to force upon myself because of the guilt of my obsession! The days i lost due to booze, the precious moments that were ruined due to my being there in body but not in spirit. I just pray this will last and want sooooooo much that each of you on the same or similar path as me can conquer this pathetic liquid which has pretended to be our best friend for all this time, when in actual fact it has betrayed us in every which way....

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

keep fighting :-)

loudog430

I cracked this week due to witnessing a burn victim (2nd/3rd degree on 98% of his body) and coupling that with a financial/suicidal crisis in my family, for the first time in my life, I said I needed a drink. I then went out this weekend and blacked out twice and spent a ton of cash I could have given to the person who needed the $$. Instead I gave it to the bartender.

I have thought that too. Like...what else is there to do other than get drunk? There is so much more to life than drinking, it just justifies how incredibly sick the disease is and how we need as much help as we can get.

Purplecatlover

That's great insight Sea!
Keep focusing on ALL that you can do w/out that poison. Which is everything!
Love your positive outlook! Keep forging ahead

Seasidegirllau

Hey Lou, sorry you had such a bad time xx if it was so easy to stop the urge..none of us would be here hey! I would look for any excuse to crack open a bottle...it was my way of justifying a drink, truth was it was all i wanted to do, no effort needed, just get one on, sit donw in front of the t.v and glug away!! Never to late to start again, lovin the drink choice..so much healthier and you aint gonna have to regret nothin :-) XX

loudog430

It is quite a challenge. I love the feeling of being sober, but then I forget I can't handle the alcohol and give in. Not this time though.

Seasidegirllau

Thanks purplecatlover :-) not going to take my eye of the ball, gonna keep focused :-) XX

Seasidegirllau

I know Lou, you come so far and think..ah just a few drinks, ive got it allllll under control...truth is its got you back in its control! Some people can deal with it, some cant..and im one of em!!! SOBER RULES!!! xx

sugarbear1

gotta stay ahead of our "ism"

Keep moving forward!