Mammyof3boys

I was at an event and I felt like I had total control, and I left alone and drove home. I have no memory of driving home, none. It's just erased from my memory. I can't seem to move past it. I say thank you to God that I am sober and not hung over and I also thank Him for keeping me safe that night. I could be dead or I could have killed someone or i could be in prison for killing someone. And my boys, my small babies could be alone. It's eating away at me. I have never ever drank and drove before. The "what ifs" are filling up my mind during the day and my dreams at night.

Anna

I had blackouts too and they are so scary.

I remember watching an interview with a woman who was in jail for killing someone while she drove drunk and she had absolutely no recollection of what happened.

Like you, I am grateful to be here and grateful to be sober.

FenwayFaithful

I drove drunk before. More then once. But I remember this one time, at least I remember this one part of the drive. I drove on the opposite side of the highway. I honestly think looking back that might be the day I started to believe that there is some kind of higher power. Some reason I must have lived through that and I am just so thankful I didn't hurt anyone that night. I shared this because I want you to know you're not alone. That some of us here, maybe many of us, have driven drunk.

Like Anna said you should be thankful that this was a wake up call for you. It pushed you to get sober. That is an amazing thing. And you didn't hurt anyone and you're still here for you're sons.

Don't beat yourself up for past mistakes. All you can do is learn from them and move forward, which you have.

doggonecarl

It would be wonderful if this "experience" was the turning point, the one thing that convinced you that you needed to quit drinking, for good. However, this addiction has a wonderful way of glossing over the most horrific events, as you know, as you seemed pretty convinced before that you needed to quit drinking.

The event that makes us quit drinking doesn't happen to us, it happens within us. I hope you find within yourself the last quit.

jwaco

I can totally relate to your experiences. This is why I know that I cannot drink again! One day at a time baby. Neat on.

sugarbear1

Sober is better, we can remember more things!

Zube

I drank and drove like it was a hobby, everyday. Pick up a 12 pack, turn on the radio, and drive around. Only had 2 DUI's in over 20 years. Not sure if a guardian angel was with me in my car, but there sure was one in every car I passed. Thank God for that.

The insanity stopped on 11-21-10.

Zube

Dee74

I think most of us did stupid reckless and dangerous things when we were drunk - we can't change that - it's done - but we can make darn sure we never do stuff like that again

maybe by living 'right' now you can find some peace and forgiveness for yourself over the past Mammy?

D