OCDDan

I just spent the last hour arguing with myself over going to the store and getting a couple twenty four ouncers, heck there only ninety nine cents, how bad could it be?

I've been sober for two weeks but it seems like eternity, time has slowed down to a crawl for me tonight. i took one of my doctor prescribed solutions but i'm still obsessing, although not as bad.

I'm never gonna make it.. one day i'm all gungho, the next pulling my hair out. I think saturday nights are rough, too much time on my hands.

sorry, goin nuts over here.

CAPTAINZING2000

If, you keep thinking about it, your thoughts can be come actions.

At least, you're talking about it to other people that, understand what, you're going through

Eliasson

What you are describing, in my experience, is completely normal, especially so early in sobriety. Please be gentle with yourself and don't be discouraged. It does get better!

Sapling

Just don't drink Dan...Just make it through the night. It's a rollercoaster ride....That's normal. It gets easier every day. You don't want to start this over again. Just keep doing what you are doing....Maybe see if you can find a good Saturday night meeting. Can't get in any trouble there.

sugarbear1

Sometimes there are midnight AA meetings on a Saturday night....

Or listen to an AA speaker, the stories are a good listen!

You can get through this!!

DisplacedGRITS

You need to do something else to occupy your mind, Dan. Read, run, draw, pain, go get a freaking children's coloring book and some markers! Believe me, when i was in the psych ward lockdown for detox, the coloring pages and markers were like cigarettes in prison. People who hogged the markers were hated. Anything simple and nonfrustrating to occupy and calm the mind until the urge passes will do. Be creative. Stewing in your own frustration is counter productive.

OCDDan

I know this is so wrong

Dee74

Every time I got through a nigth and didn;t drink it got easier the next time Dan...

My advice is don't have an inner dialogue - just decide no and mean it - find something to do...chores, a movie, whatever it takes...

D

Lily

Dan if you have not had any alcohol for 2 weeks, then what you are experiencing is an obsession of the mind and not true physical cravings. I don't know, but for some reason that just helped me knowing it was in my head and not a physiological craving. Since you can only think of one thought at a time, keep on dismissing it. I think there have been some wonderful ideas on here, listening to AA meetings, call a sober friend, etc. This will pass, I promise.

OCDDan

Thanks, i'm facing the most challenging time in my life, probably any day, so it's no suprise i want to feel better, but i am feeling better now.

Sapling

Then hang on to it Dan.

OCDDan

yes, crisis averted, thanks.

soberlicious

Don't allow this kind of talk. You can make it. You can.

I agree with Dee. Don't allow the inner dialogue. It's like when my kids are begging me for something that I have said is non-negotiable. If I engage with them, get involved in a debate or power struggle, eventually they could wear me down. I take this approach with them: "The answer is no, and there will be no conversation." I have to remind myself that I am the one in charge.

You are the one in charge. You can do it. Glad you are feeling better.

OCDDan

I'd make a terrible father, i don't like stress and would spoil them rotten, then mommy would be the bad bad mommy.. thanks for the suport

miamifella

Do you have any friends who know that you are quitting drinking and seem sympathetic? I used to call such friends and stay on the phone with them for awhile--often making plans to meet in the morning, so I would have a reason not to use. Talking to them about anything--gossip, politics, even the problem I was having with recovery--seemed to help. Because they were not alcoholics/addicts themselves, the friends I called were easily able to avoid being judgmental.

I know some will say this is bad recovery, but I think you have to do whatever you can--especially at the start. I could not do it alone or with prayer -- so I asked the people who cared the most about me to help.

OCDDan

you probably hit the nail on the head, the people who care about me the most actually would be the best for this type of thing. how often it is that i just don't want what's best for me..

Jeni26

So totally understand you!!
I spent the whole of Friday, from the minute I woke up, totally obsessing about alcohol. Even though I was at work, every time I had a moments thought space, it was spent planning to drink that evening. It overwhelmed me.
I too am early in recovery and I thought I was doing very well up until that point.
I posted and read here, listened to what people had to say and resisted.
Best move I ever made.
If anything it just completely underlined to me that I am an alcoholic. Listening to others in AA meetings, I could always comfort myself that I wasn't as bad as them, after all I never ended up losing it all did I?
But, oh yes, I am an alcoholic alright. I was just very lucky not to have lost it all.
It has strengthened my resolve.
I want to be set free.
Well done for resisting. Now we are both free to continue to fight this battle x

instant

Dan I found reading the big book (free online) helpful early in my recovery. The short course at rational recovery on AVRT helped as well.

Telling yourself it is hard and you are set to fail will add to your troubles.

Newatthis34

Really key piece of advice right there Dee, thanks. I tend to go ahead and engage in that dialogue which weakens resolve big style.

hypochondriac

I agree, I used to do this. It wasn't even a proper argument! It was 'should I drink tonight or not?' over and over again til 'ok I'll drink'. Rubbish. I don't think I could let myself have a proper argument because the rational brain KNOWS that it is a bad idea to drink.

Do not engage. You don't drink anymore. Take the option of drinking off the table and then there's no inner dialogue to have. The craving will only last a few minutes if you don't engage.

You are going to make it x