coming_clean

Lately i've been struggling with the whole love-for-others...thing...
Realised I need more love for myself too. In order for it to work.
And to protect myself.
My recovery depends on this.

I've bought a wish pyramide. The day before yesterday.

I scribble little notes and put them in,
Wishes for others and myself.
I'm kinda messing up the whole concept of the thing. LOL

But it TRUELY helps me to place negative feelings 'outside' myself, and turn them into something nice.
For the first time i'm 'feeling' compassion, slowly arising, rather then 'knowing' it.

For me it works.
So. Buddha tought.
If something works, and makes you a nicer person..

Just do it
I am. And I really can't give a #$%^
if it's 'buddhist' or not.

Once it's filled up with compassion. I will take all my little notes out, read them one by one and throw them in a fire.
Nothing is permanent. Even wishes.

kellyrally

This is an awesome idea! I have always found it helps to write things down in some way.

coming_clean

Like a diamond coverd with sand of ego,
You need water of knowledge and practice to wash of,
Then only diamond remains.
Essence.
- me -

Anna

I like your point about nothing being permanent.

That's a point that Eckhart Tolle makes again and again. It's so easy, when you're having a good day, to wish it would never end and to wish you'd have more days just like that. But that's not what life is about. If you can accept impermanence, you have less expectations and expectations often get us into trouble.

coming_clean

well...
i'm starting to get greatfull for my addiction,
all the suffering it has caused me
Like a old lover,
You hated at first,
But,
After years, you start the see the beauty and fun and nice memories again,
Only knowing this time,
You just don't belong together
And you both we're young and blind and crazy fools for eachother,

Addiction is ultimate suffering,
No enemy is worse,
then your own hart and mind

If you can ACCEPT this,
....
life is good.
In all it's good moments, and sometimes even better; when it throws it's worst at you,

these realisations are new and fragile,
So I treat them with care.

sugarbear1

Are you doing this on your own or are you using some kind of program of recovery?

The book Alcoholics Anonymous is online, AVRT is online, and I found at least one book on Buddism & Alcoholism (I think it related to the 12 steps, but I am sure there are others).

I was just curious.

Keep writing!!! Very inspiring