Jeni26

Am doing so well but Friday is here again, my biggest and worst temptation. An at work but already planning my shopping trip on the way home via the alcohol aisle in the supermarket. My routine is to relax and reward myself after a frantic week by a bottle (or 2) of wine. Have been good so far but this is my 3rd sober Friday and it isn't getting easier!!!
I know how much I hated waking up hungover every Saturday but everything screaming at me tells me it will be ok this time. Help!!!

FenwayFaithful

That is not normal "relaxing after work" behavior. And it doesn't justify drinking like that alone. That's your alcoholism trying to tell you, you deserve 2-3 bottles of wine after a day of work.

Nope sorry! Everyone works, but only alcoholic use, work or school or, whatever else as a justification for drinking. I couldn't tell you how normal people drink! Or what "normal drinking" is because I've never experienced but I know it's not that!

And I hope I don't sound like I am judging you because I've been there! I just don't want to see you make excuses for yourself. You can wake up tomorrow feeling good and sober and like being productive. Or you can have a few hours of being drunk, wake up tomorrow disappointed, sad, with a splitting headache and spend the morning in the bathroom.

One of those options sounds a lot better to me! I've found that setting goals has helped me quit drinking. Personally, working out and wanting to get in better shape. I don't nee the empty calories! Maybe find a hobby or interest for the weekends and keep yourself busy with that.

Hey by the way? I promise it DOES get easier. Some days are harder then others. But take it one day at a time and maybe go to a meeting every Friday? If you know its a trigger for you? There was this 57 year old in the meetings I used to go to who had been sober for like 20 years and he STILL went to four meetings every Saturday because that was his toughest day

Change4good

I hear you friend. Fridays are always tricky for me too. Seriously. This is what I have done the past two Friday mornings, and it helped. Write down all the things you can do on Saturday morning with a clear head and clean body. Think about how three or four hours of drunkeness rob you of an ENTIRE weekend day.

Play the scenario out, from busting out the corkscrew to going to bed with dread and anxiety. Then play out another scenario, where you close your eyes and say, "Another day down, and I am getting stronger and healthier, even if I don't feel like it right now."

If you are having trouble, hop on here if you can. Post away. I will answer. :-)

Change4good

Looks like Fenway and I were posting the same sentiment at the same time. Must be some truth to it! :-)

Sapling

It won't be OK...Get what you have to get...And get out of there.

RyanRyan

My first Friday I was freaking out and the best advice I got in here from someone...can't remember who...was to not romanticize drinking period. Don't give it that strength. You can't just focus on the good because the bad is also there waiting to take you down again. That helped me a lot. Friday night is like every other night that you don't drink. There isn't anything special or different about it. Make a plan for Saturday and Sunday and focus on that! You made a good choice to be a different person and that has to include doing things differently...like Friday nights. Good luck!

Fallow

It seems like you are still telling yourself that drinking is part of your routine. When I drank I was routinely drunk, routinely hungover, and routinely of no use to anybody. Not even myself.

Newatthis34

[QUOTE=Change4good;3370126]I hear you friend


Play the scenario out, from busting out the corkscrew to going to bed with dread and anxiety.


Hey there, I too am dreading my first weekend with alcohol but definitely going to take Change's advice and do this!! Seems like a great tool to imagine the aftermath - thanks Change!

Newatthis34

Sorry haven't figured out how to quote other people properly yet!

DarkDays

It wont be ok this time, if you drink it will be the same ole BS , Obsession and remorse along with the hangover and dark thoughts, forget it, feel good to be bored it will get better.

instant

I could not get over the Friday thing for years. Friday had to be special. I now realise that my feelings/emotions about Friday had been highjacked by alcohol for many years.

Now at 11plus months the way I feel about relaxing (what it is, how to get it etc) and reward have changed. Similarly "the frantic" week has ended, what is there to run from? and what/where to?

It will end as it always has, unless we change.

I am thankful I discovered the power of unconditional surrender and was pointed in the direction of the daily practice of gratitude.

Now Fridays really are special.

Sapling

I was in rehab and I left two weeks early because I wanted to go to more AA meetings than I could there. I wanted to get a sponsor and work the steps. When I was leaving...A counselor...An Afican American guy I didn't know too well..He came up to me and he told me..."Don't pick up and do the next right thing...And you'll be alright." Every other councelor there told me I was making a mistake. I asked him what he meant...Do the next right thing?...He said "If your walking down the sidewalk and you see a candy wrapper...Pick it up and throw it in the trash. If you see an older woman struggling with groceries in the parking lot...Go over and help her put them in the trunk. Whatever your situaton is...Don't pick up and do the next right thing." I never forgot that....And I haven't had a drink since. That and prayer is what kept me sober as I worked the steps. Just don't pick up and do the next right thing.

Dee74

You can do this Jeni

You know alcohol's not a reward...there are better rewards and better ways to relax and unwind...

rent a movie, buy something yummy to eat, buy some bubble bath and have a long soak...read a good book...do something that you know you won't regret and have to 'pay for' later...

I'm sorry things aren't getting easier - but they didn't get easier for me right away either...

recovery is not a quick process...but then again we drank for years - we have to expect that recovery from that will take time work and effort...anything really valuable, any really worthwhile achievement does

I think the thing about recovery is it's about making different choices...it's about taking a deep breath,stopping, and knowing whats good for you and what isn't...I believe, deep down, we all know how to choose wisely.

make the right choice Jeni
D

deanlad1980

I'm with you on the Friday thing years in the building trade Friday night is reward yourself with a skinful you deserve it after working so hard what a load of old crap!
Your weeks ahead of me and I envey you honestly
Stay strong don't waste what you have achieved so far
Best wishes

BillyPilgrim

I used to be like that, "rewarding " myself on a Friday. Never quite got my head around the fact that the reward was waking up feeling like sh1t the next day.
I now reward myself by watching a DVD, reading a book, going for a walk, going to the theatre.
They are great rewards that don't make you feel bad next day

It was hard to get off the I need a bottle of wine thing, but SR helped with that. When I had a craving in the early days, I was on this site, writing the problem down, people came and helped, I am grateful for that, hope you find it here too

Taking5

You have to end with "[/quote]"

BillyPilgrim

or just press the "quote" button
watch the brackety things though

Alfie3

Hi Jeni26,

You have been doing so well. These feelings are bound to be strong early on, but are only transient. Focus on all the positive things that have happened since you gave up the booze. Make plans to get up early tomorrow and go shopping. Buy yourself something nice for having done so well.
I always think about the weekends I wrote off by drinking too much, and in these instances Monday morning comes around a lot quicker. Make the most of your weekend and be productive. It will be so good for your soul. If you drink tonight imagine how depressed you will feel tomorrow morning. Get some nice food for tonight and a good book or movie. Concentrate on how healthy you feel now the booze has gone.
You can do this! You are bound to have these down days but how you bounce back from them will only strenghen your recovery.
I will been on SR tonight no doubt as well, so if you are struggling just post a message. We are all here for you.

forabetterlife

Jeni, The best advice for me, so far, and other have already alluded to it but its: play that tape til the end. The actual physical act of drinking from the taste of it to how it will feel, the realistic fact that you will probably drink to excess, the poor night's sleep you will get, and then the next day: not only how your head and body will, but how disappointed you will feel in yourself, after what sounds like almost 3 weeks of not drinking. There are some moments where I get SO pissed that i can't just enjoy a glass of wine or a beer after "all the hard work and stress I go through each day", but once I really focus on how it will really all feel and play out, I move on from the idea and go do something way healthier and more beneficial for me.
You can do this, I know you can!

epskie

C'mon Jeni - we are in this together! Let's do this - as you know my husbands band has a gig tonight, I've cried off (so the temptation isn't there) I'm going to go to asda and buy myself some cosy new pjs and some chocolate, have a bath and a lovely relaxing night.