Inspiration

I have been living with an alchoholic for the past 17 years. My husband knows how much hurt he causes me and the children and he tries but then he drinks one and can't stop. He has hurt us economically and emotionally. I told him he needs to continue AA and/or go to church. I learned I can't change someone. I learned I have to make a decision. I have told him to leave, but he doesn't believe my words. He left to mexico for two weeks and he is now to return. I don't want him back. I am mad, upset, fraustrated, confused. I don't want to deal with him anymore. How can I tell him to leave without making a big scene and my children to be affected by it. Please help! Every opinion helps.

phoenix

Hi and welcome

I brought your post to our Al Anon forum because you will get more responses here from people who understand how you feel.It sounds like you already have done some learning and growing.You know you can't change him,and you are ready to set your boundaries.I doubt that there is an easy way through it for you and the kids.But Al Anon can give you the tools you'll need to take care of yourself.Hang in there and keep posting.You'll find a lot of love and support here.

Hugs

phoenix

Inspiration

Thank You! I got some numbers for Al-anon from this website. i will be calling them on Monday and see if there is a place close to home.

Inspiration

Thank You! Your reply made me feel good.

phoenix

I am so glad you are finding resources.It's a bit quiet in here tonight,but others will be along to welcome you too.Meanwhile,read and post wherever you like.There are some FYI posts at the top of the page that are especially good.

phoenix

osier59

I hope you find the support you need. You said you wanted your children to be unaffected by this. I'm sad to say they already have been affected by the family disease of alcoholism, and so have you. The best thing you can do for them and for yourself is to find an Al Anon group in your area, and take advantage of the resources offered.

Good luck to you
O59

12 Step Girl

Welcome Inspiration,

Glad to have you here. Youve come to the right place for love and support.

I have been in your shoes (A husband) and know the pain, fear and frustration you must be feeling. Im glad to see youre calling Al Anon,,,that fellowship will show you how to live a happy and fulfilling life,whether the A drinks or not. Ive just returned from my 3rd meeting of the day,,and No, you wont have to attend that many daily,unless you want to. I was feeling lonely and scared earlier this evening, but now I feel ton's better, and thats all thanks to my program with Al Anon.

Keep an open mind and a willing heart, listen hard to what people there and here say, and you will get better. Thats a promise.

Welcome again!!

Inspiration

thank you for your reply's. It is true my children are totally affected. it is very sad to say that the my teenage daughters don't want him to return. We had had so much peace. I am not ready to go back to the same routine. Knowing that on a Friday he is to start his drinking. After writing here this evening, it really helped me to relax. It took fraustration and stress of my back.