lhenderson

How does ones thinking contribute to their drinking? Also what happens in your mind before you pick up that first drink. I could really use some input on these questions.

Sapling

My thinking was the main culprit in all of my problems with alcohol...All of them. I had to change the way I think.

Anna

I had to change the way I thought, too.

I was in a downward spiral of negative thinking and feeling helpless. I had to take a big step back and take a realistic look at my life. I wasn't helpless and I had many, many things in my life to be grateful for. Gratitude was and still is a big part of my recovery.

desertsong

My thinking was, "I can have just one or two. All I want is just a little buzz. Then I'll stop." Of course, it never ended up being just one or two. Once the brakes were released on that runaway train, it was all over.

Other thoughts:

"I've had a really stressful day. I just need a couple of drinks to chill out."
"I deserve it - I've been working so hard lately."
"Why not just a couple to celebrate (any one of a million occasions)?"
"I'm mad at so-and-so ... I'll show him/her."

In the end, I wasn't even thinking anymore, just doing it mindlessly.

brickthrowing

I will reply here because that thought process is very recent for me so I can remember what went through my head.

I saw it in the fridge. It was RIGHT there. Even though the beer did not belong to me In my head I said...only for tonight. Then I will be okay. You know you have a problem, that's half the battle right? The addictive voice says "deal with it another time"

But, I am painfully learning there is no time to deal with the problem like right then...in that moment.

Dee74

I had a lot of rationalisations for why I should drink, or why I needed to drink.

There were the fantasy lies
'maybe I've learned to control it now'
'one won't hurt me'
'I can go right back to recovery after tonight'

but there were the more dangerous rationalisations too - the ones that seemed to have a grain of truth to them

'I'm really stressed/bored/sad/tired/lonely/happy/in pain/annoyed'
'I deserve a break'...
'I really can't cope, I can't make this worse'
'I don't want to be an alcoholic'



I see now that while some of those reasons may have been valid, my solution - to drink - was not.

are you struggling right now lh or just asking the question?

D

soberlicious

Once I made a decision to never drink again, I recognized the thinking you refer to as completely bogus. It was not ME and not what I wanted, rather my addiction, so what went through my mind before taking a drink was a tug-of-war that resulted in me drinking and recreating the ugly cycle every single day.
If I ever have those thoughts now, it's not "my" thinking, so I don't entertain it, engage it, battle it, etc. It passes. After several years I very rarely have those thoughts and if I do they are fleeting and actually kind of funny since I don't drink.

There is no tug-of-war because I don't ever pick up the other end of the rope.
Any thought that suggests getting drunk or high is dismissed. Simply not an option.

Terminally Unique

Funny you should mention this particular one. Whenever I have a vacation or some extended break coming up, my addictive voice usually tries this angle:

"You know AVRT so well by now, you can just drink during your vacation, and then quit again after it is over. It will be easy."

eJoshua

In the past, when I drank it was because I wasn't thinking through my actions. Now I think to avoid drinking.

tzivia

I've been trying to think about why I drink. What do I really get out of it? I guess I just like the buzz, but I can't just stop with that, I have to get flat out drunk. Then my head starts spinning, and I'm not even enjoying it anymore.

When I get thoughts of drinking, I'm usually just picturing me relaxing, ah that would be so nice, to just chill out and not have to stress or whatever just for this evening. Then I'll quit again tomorrow I think. But I know I won't, I never do.

I try to remember what the drinking actually felt like, and it never really was as good as I think it was, or as I remember it to be when I'm trying to plan another drink. I know I'd just keep getting drunk if I really tried to drink a little again, and I don't want that, so I'm just not doing it. It's not an option for me now, and I feel so much freedom at having that worry lifted. It's liberating.

Zencat

The highest thinking for my welfare got replaced with my lowest instinctual drives to get and do drugs. Then when the clarity returned with sobriety, the development of greater thinking brought a greater resistance to drugging and drinking.

sugarbear1

It was like now, when I get to a stop sign. I made the decision in my mind before I ever even attempt to come to a complete stop. Thinking always preceded the first drink.

Today, it's not an issue, I know it's not a decision to even bother with and I'm okay with this.

mwstylee

Every single time, this exact though goes through my mind: "just 1 or 2 this won't hurt". But fact is, I've never, ever had just 1 or 2!

lhenderson

Dee, Thanks for your concern I was just asking a question. I was just thinking about some things and how my distorted thinking got me in trouble time and time again. I would also like to thank all of you for responding to my post.

2granddaughters

When you read the 12 Steps, you can see what parts of our makeup need addressing. There is no simple answer.

The longer I'm around the less I know for sure.

All the best.

Bob R