New Here - Quitting for Good
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 13
New Here - Quitting for Good
Hi All,
I'm new here although I've been lurking for a couple of weeks. My story is not unique. I've quit drinking many times in the past, mainly between the time I passed out and woke up the next day. There have been a few times where I quit for a while - the longest being a month after I spent a couple of nights in jail as a result of drunkeness. I have a family history of alcoholism - all my family on my mother's side were major drunks and my grandmother was a prescription drug addict.
Drinking ceased to be "fun" a long time ago and it's been more like a habit for the past several years. I had an epiphany recently when I was recalling an event from the past. I started thinking about it and realized that the event I was thinking of was 8 years ago. I then took a long look at what I'd accomplished in my life in those past 8 years and the net was pretty much nothing except getting drunk pretty much every day / night. I knew at that moment that unless I made the decision to quit drinking completely that the next 8 years (if I live that long) will be exactly like the last - not really living, just existing, drinking, and waiting to die.
That was about 2 weeks ago. I have drank twice since then, both times much less than I normally would and have kind of just put it down at some point both times and said that's it (but not before getting fully intoxicated of course). For some reason my mindset has changed recently. In the past I'd try to stop, fail, drink again, and feel all kinds of guilt, shame, self-hatred, etc. Since my "moment", when I look back on the two times I've drank I just look at it and say "whatever". I think I'm just tired of wallowing in all the negative thoughts and feelings about it. I decided that I'm tired of beating myself up for my failure to live up to my own expectations, so I'm just going to declare victory, or defeat, or whatever and give up the fight.
There are a number of things I want to do with the remaining time I've got on this planet and I know none of them will ever happen if I continue to live each day with the only goal of getting drunk and getting through it. That's not a life, it's barely an existence.
My drink of choice has always been beer and because of that I've put on a ton (not literally, but close) of weight and gotten really out of shape. My first goal is to start losing some weight and getting back into shape. I calculated the amount of calories and carbs I've been taking in with the amount of beer I've been drinking and it is astounding. I could probably eat an entire chocolate cake every day and take in less calories than I've been swallowing every day in beer.
I've got a plan in place - it's to not drink right now, or today. I'll let tomorrow take care of itself. Every morning without a hangover or a plan for drinking later is a good morning.
Thanks,
Shooter
I'm new here although I've been lurking for a couple of weeks. My story is not unique. I've quit drinking many times in the past, mainly between the time I passed out and woke up the next day. There have been a few times where I quit for a while - the longest being a month after I spent a couple of nights in jail as a result of drunkeness. I have a family history of alcoholism - all my family on my mother's side were major drunks and my grandmother was a prescription drug addict.
Drinking ceased to be "fun" a long time ago and it's been more like a habit for the past several years. I had an epiphany recently when I was recalling an event from the past. I started thinking about it and realized that the event I was thinking of was 8 years ago. I then took a long look at what I'd accomplished in my life in those past 8 years and the net was pretty much nothing except getting drunk pretty much every day / night. I knew at that moment that unless I made the decision to quit drinking completely that the next 8 years (if I live that long) will be exactly like the last - not really living, just existing, drinking, and waiting to die.
That was about 2 weeks ago. I have drank twice since then, both times much less than I normally would and have kind of just put it down at some point both times and said that's it (but not before getting fully intoxicated of course). For some reason my mindset has changed recently. In the past I'd try to stop, fail, drink again, and feel all kinds of guilt, shame, self-hatred, etc. Since my "moment", when I look back on the two times I've drank I just look at it and say "whatever". I think I'm just tired of wallowing in all the negative thoughts and feelings about it. I decided that I'm tired of beating myself up for my failure to live up to my own expectations, so I'm just going to declare victory, or defeat, or whatever and give up the fight.
There are a number of things I want to do with the remaining time I've got on this planet and I know none of them will ever happen if I continue to live each day with the only goal of getting drunk and getting through it. That's not a life, it's barely an existence.
My drink of choice has always been beer and because of that I've put on a ton (not literally, but close) of weight and gotten really out of shape. My first goal is to start losing some weight and getting back into shape. I calculated the amount of calories and carbs I've been taking in with the amount of beer I've been drinking and it is astounding. I could probably eat an entire chocolate cake every day and take in less calories than I've been swallowing every day in beer.
I've got a plan in place - it's to not drink right now, or today. I'll let tomorrow take care of itself. Every morning without a hangover or a plan for drinking later is a good morning.
Thanks,
Shooter
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 122
Hi Shooter. Wow I could have written that 2 weeks ago! Mine has been 6 years. I was sober from 2004 til 2006 but then fell off the wagon big style. The last 6 years have passed exactly as you describe. And, like you, I knew the next would be the same. It is not easy I know that. I am on day 17, today has been really good, as was yesterday but Friday was terrible. But I want so much more out of this life and I know for sure I cannot have while I drink. I really really wish you luck. Stick to this site, you will get lots
of support and advice.
I am once again looking forward to a good sleep and a hangover free waking. Its lovely. Been eating more but like you it was beer and you can eat more! Also I am more active (after only 17 days!) and moving quicker so I know I am burning the food off.
I don't know why this time is different, you refered to it as a moment, I don't know why but I know something HAS changed for me. I really meant it when I tried to stop booze before but this time I have really seen the light. And I am so bloody grateful! One day at a time. I said that early this morning and now, after a good sober day, I am retiring to bed. Keep strong. You talk a lot of sense.
:day6
of support and advice.
I am once again looking forward to a good sleep and a hangover free waking. Its lovely. Been eating more but like you it was beer and you can eat more! Also I am more active (after only 17 days!) and moving quicker so I know I am burning the food off.
I don't know why this time is different, you refered to it as a moment, I don't know why but I know something HAS changed for me. I really meant it when I tried to stop booze before but this time I have really seen the light. And I am so bloody grateful! One day at a time. I said that early this morning and now, after a good sober day, I am retiring to bed. Keep strong. You talk a lot of sense.
:day6
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome Shooter, way to go with the positive thinking 
Go easy on yourself re the chocolate though, you may need that in the early days 
This is my first attempt at sobriety, 6 weeks and counting... It's been a bit of a rocky road but a million times better than my drunken road. Don't hesitate to get as much help as you can x
Go easy on yourself re the chocolate though, you may need that in the early days This is my first attempt at sobriety, 6 weeks and counting... It's been a bit of a rocky road but a million times better than my drunken road. Don't hesitate to get as much help as you can x
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Welcome to the family shooter! Your positive, upbeat attitude will help. I felt alone with my misery until I came here. It was great to talk about the problem with people who truly understood.
I know what you mean about it not being fun anymore. I drank all my life - to help with shyness in the beginning. Then to enhance good times. Then to numb myself during bad times. One day I realized I never drew a sober breath. I wasted even more time trying to control the amounts I drank - with horrific results. My world came crashing down around me and I had no choice but to surrender.
Wishing you a wonderful new life as you move forward - no more being numb and foggy.
You can do this, shooter.
I know what you mean about it not being fun anymore. I drank all my life - to help with shyness in the beginning. Then to enhance good times. Then to numb myself during bad times. One day I realized I never drew a sober breath. I wasted even more time trying to control the amounts I drank - with horrific results. My world came crashing down around me and I had no choice but to surrender.
Wishing you a wonderful new life as you move forward - no more being numb and foggy.
You can do this, shooter.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Welcome brother, SR is a good place to be. As for weight, once you're sober you can actually remember to diet and exercise. Once I cared about myself again I lost 50lbs, but doesn't matter, just care about your self.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome to SR and thank you for sharing your story!
Like many people here, I finally found relative peace and solid sobriety when I was able to surrender and stop fighting. I would take advantage of your motivation to invest in your sobriety right now. I can tell you that as committed you may feel now there are definitely times when your resolve will be tested. For me, the best way to stay sober consistently was to formulate a recovery plan and stick to it.
I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
Like many people here, I finally found relative peace and solid sobriety when I was able to surrender and stop fighting. I would take advantage of your motivation to invest in your sobriety right now. I can tell you that as committed you may feel now there are definitely times when your resolve will be tested. For me, the best way to stay sober consistently was to formulate a recovery plan and stick to it.
I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome shooter!
Congratulations on deciding to get sober! I reached a point, like you, where I decided it was pointless putting that decision off..... it was just going to be more of the same (or worse).
I soaked up the inspiration and support around here - and just focused on the day at hand. It worked for me!
Congratulations on deciding to get sober! I reached a point, like you, where I decided it was pointless putting that decision off..... it was just going to be more of the same (or worse).
I soaked up the inspiration and support around here - and just focused on the day at hand. It worked for me!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
welcome to SR Shooter
that was my existence too - I've done more in the last 5 years than I did in the 20 before that.
Putting down the beer is definitely a good thing.
Glad you've joined us
D
There are a number of things I want to do with the remaining time I've got on this planet and I know none of them will ever happen if I continue to live each day with the only goal of getting drunk and getting through it. That's not a life, it's barely an existence.
Putting down the beer is definitely a good thing.
Glad you've joined us
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 13
Thanks guys for all the support.
Thanks Josh - I am fully committed.
They say there is no such thing as a lack of motivation, just a lack of meaningful goals. That's been my problem for years - the only real goal I had was to figure out where the next drink was coming from - and unfortunately for me that goal was all too easy to attain. It's time for me to raise the bar (and push back from it).
At this point in my life I'm lucky to be alive after all the stuff I've done. I have a job and an income so things could always be worse I guess. I know it will take a long, long time to get better. I like many addicts have a boxcar full of personal baggage going all the way back to my childhood. I'm trying now to look at it objectively and honestly and deal with it in a mature and healthy way rather than just use it as an excuse to run away and get drunk.
Thanks Josh - I am fully committed.
They say there is no such thing as a lack of motivation, just a lack of meaningful goals. That's been my problem for years - the only real goal I had was to figure out where the next drink was coming from - and unfortunately for me that goal was all too easy to attain. It's time for me to raise the bar (and push back from it).
At this point in my life I'm lucky to be alive after all the stuff I've done. I have a job and an income so things could always be worse I guess. I know it will take a long, long time to get better. I like many addicts have a boxcar full of personal baggage going all the way back to my childhood. I'm trying now to look at it objectively and honestly and deal with it in a mature and healthy way rather than just use it as an excuse to run away and get drunk.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Hey shooter...Welcome to SR.....Your story rang a few bells for me...
not really living, just existing, drinking, and waiting to die.
That was the last few years of my drinking....It's a dark place. I'm just curious if you are going this alone or planning on using a recovery program...There are different ways people have found sobriety here....Have you looked into any of them?
not really living, just existing, drinking, and waiting to die.
That was the last few years of my drinking....It's a dark place. I'm just curious if you are going this alone or planning on using a recovery program...There are different ways people have found sobriety here....Have you looked into any of them?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Shooter,
Welcome, you are in a great place for support. I also use AA and I find AVRT to make a ton of sense as well.
I love your avatar. He played a great role - and alcoholic - in that movie.
Welcome, you are in a great place for support. I also use AA and I find AVRT to make a ton of sense as well.
I love your avatar. He played a great role - and alcoholic - in that movie.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Welcome to SR Shooter. Your story definitely resonated with me as well.
I reflected on the past three years of my drinking as well today and the last few days...what have I accomplished besides planning my next drink, how to buy it, how to drink it, how fast to drink it and then what greasy crappy food I could get my hands on for that night. Only to wake up hungover the next day, bloated and 2lbs heavier from my drink & food binge.
It sucks...and it is definitely not a way to leave.
Glad to hear that you are choosing to get sober instead of living like a zombie.
SR is a seriously great place and everyone here is uber supportive.
Welcome!
I reflected on the past three years of my drinking as well today and the last few days...what have I accomplished besides planning my next drink, how to buy it, how to drink it, how fast to drink it and then what greasy crappy food I could get my hands on for that night. Only to wake up hungover the next day, bloated and 2lbs heavier from my drink & food binge.
It sucks...and it is definitely not a way to leave.
Glad to hear that you are choosing to get sober instead of living like a zombie.
SR is a seriously great place and everyone here is uber supportive.
Welcome!
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