changeschoices

Friday: ABF gets drunk at wedding two weeks after his last bender and me notifying him that he will have to move out if he touches another drink. He disappears drunk into the night.

Saturday: ABF is notified via text (he's too drunk to answer the phone) that he may no longer live at my house and must contact me to discuss getting his things out of my house.

Monday: ABF calls me, says he wants to move out anyway because he can't take my being angry at him anymore (!!), blames me for his problems, says he's going to learn to drink socially, blah blah blah...I've heard it a million times before. We agree that he will come over Thursday to remove his belongings, which will be in my garage.

Tuesday: ABF emails me telling me he'll call me tomorrow. I email back and ask why he plans to call me, since we've already agreed that he's coming to get his things Thursday night out of my garage.

Wednesday (Today): ABF emails back and says he wants to call me tonight just to confirm our plan for his moving his stuff out Thursday night.

Really? We've confirmed via text, phone call, and email that he is coming Thursday night to get his crap out of my garage. And he wants to call me tonight to confirm it again? WTHeck?!

Thumper

Just email back and say "yes Thursday evening" and leave it at that. Don't answere his calls - untold amounts of twisting and game playing will happen and he will find a reason to not come on Thursday so he has a reason to keep playing the game.

My xah tried that all the time. He resorted to info about the kids because that is all I would respond to so I made one big email with every scrap of info on it and just kept sending the same dang email over and over. No new text or anything, lol. He is a slow learner or very tenacious because I sent dozens before he finally quit that particular game.

Taking5

He's probably been drinking and doesn't remember any of the plans.

changeschoices

LOL! That is hysterical.

nodaybut2day

At some point, you may choose to take his stuff and put it outside at a predetermined time and date. Then he can choose to come get it, or not. Not your problem anymore.

Another alternative is to have the stuff sent to someone he knows, but that requires work on your part, which you really don't have to do.

fedup3

What day is your garbage pick-up?

Shadydeal

Hang in there! Wishing you the best. Recently this too has been my story but no words from my XABF.

Lilmssunshine

Ugh they're so annoying. Yup its all our fault that we get angry....(sarcasm) anger isn't a reaction to bullcrap ... not at all. Sorry hes being a pain in the rear!

changeschoices

Aaaaargh! I emailed him back saying (AGAIN) yes, the plan is you come over after work tomorrow and get your things out of my garage, it's all packed up and ready to go.

He emails me back and says okay and then adds, "I'll call you tonight."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's over! He refused to get help for his drinking so I told him he has to move out. There is no need for him to call me! I am not answering his call.

I don't think he wants to ask me to take him back. I think he wants to call me to say once again that HE doesn't want to live with ME because I'm "too angry with him." I will certainly not answer my phone tonight!

Pelican

Good plan!
Take your power back CC!

fourmaggie

me loooves garbage day!...never know whatcha gonna get...lol

changeschoices

After sending yet another email in which I explained that yes, the plan IS for him to come get his things tomorrow, he wrote back saying, "Okay...I guess there is no need for me to call you tonight". And then he writes, "And we can be in touch about anything else, okay?"

Okay then! Lol! Not happening! I think that he wanted to call me simply so I would have his new cell phone number and he could hope and pray that I'd be sad enough to call him and beg him to come back. I don't want to know his cell phone number!

I noticed that, five days after I dumped him, his FB status still says "engaged". This is a man who goes on FB all the time. Seriously?

I'm getting witchy, time for bed, lol!

inpieces314

Yeah the ex told me earlier he wanted to get his stuff out of my house "sometime," at least he was honest about not having a date for it. Hmm...I think, because he really doesn't want to get his stuff? Because he really plans on coming back?

I don't know about any of you, but if I left my husband's/boyfriend's/fiance's house, I would get my stuff ASAP. No way he is gonna throw it away or sell it or pawn it or whatever they do, cuz I like my stuff too much.

Then again, I don't have alcohol pickling my brain, either.

changeschoices

I know. It's been almost a week since I told him it's over. I offered to let him come get his clothes and paperwork kind of stuff on Monday, until I had a little more time to pack up the rest of his items. He's been wearing the same clothes since last Friday, yet has been in no rush to get his things.

Part of me hopes that he'll change his mind and tell me today he wants to get help and he's not coming to move his things out tonight. But the realistic part of me knows it's for the best that he leaves. I think part of him is hoping I'll tell him today that he doesn't have to get his things tonight, that I'll let him stay and keep drinking. But it can't be that way.

Florence

You know those parts in a scary movie when you see the hot young thing going up the stairs, and the murderer is at the top behind a door...?

No!!!!! Don't do it!!!!!

nodaybut2day

Even if that were to happen, could you really trust him again and "go back to how things were"?

IMO, it wouldn't be possible. However, just because he moves out now doesn't mean that at some point down the road, IF he decides to find recovery and stick to it, you two can't get back together. Anything is possible. Right now though, I think you're clear on the fact that this separation needs to happen.

inpieces314

Yup. Things gotta change, and you have to let him know that you aren't alright with his actions. And this is how to do it. Next, tell him he has until such-and-such date to get his stuff or it will be going with the trash. Period.

He thinks he is going to wear you down by having an excuse to talk to him. Don't give in!

Cyranoak

It ends when you end it, and not a minute sooner.