Been Caught
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Carolina Shores, NC
Posts: 1
Been Caught
I think for the past 5 years I have had a drinking problem. I drink wine, a lot. So much so that I buy two 1.5 liters at a time, hide one and use it to fill up the one in the fridge so it does not look like I am drinking a lot. But the key is I hide them, all over the house. And this morning my husband caught me. He found some of my empty bottles. I tried blowing it off like it was nothing. But then I went around cleaning out the places where I hide the bottles and there were 2 1/2 big trash bags full of empty wine bottles around the house. I used to only drink a glass or two before, but then something happened in 07 that began my drinking during the day. I have a stomach problem and have to take this powder medicine, but when we go to his parents (who will make anyone drink) I put vodka in my Gatorade. I need help. The problem is I think one reason I drink is my husband. He has a horrible pot and anger problem. I think I just want to dull it all out. Dull the abuse, his problem, my life. What do I do?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR holbrook...That's a handful you got there....What do you do?.....I'd say coming here is a major start in the right direction....There is great support here....Just going to have to figure a way to get you out of that mess....I've been there....There is a way out.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by holbrook 
What do I do?
I ask because there was no mention of that in your post...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi and Welcome!
I think many of us use alcohol to numb our negative emotions and to get through the days, but it never really works well for long.
Does your husband want to deal with his anger issues? If not, then you know where you stand and you have to figure out what you want to do. Counselling could be helpful for you personally or maybe as a couple. It's unacceptable to live in an abusive situation.
I think many of us use alcohol to numb our negative emotions and to get through the days, but it never really works well for long.
Does your husband want to deal with his anger issues? If not, then you know where you stand and you have to figure out what you want to do. Counselling could be helpful for you personally or maybe as a couple. It's unacceptable to live in an abusive situation.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Holbrook - welcome 
I know from my own personal history that drinking never helped solve any of my problems, & drinking to try and solve someone else's problems was even more futile.
I think Anna gives some good advice on that score.
As for you, you say you need help.
I think supports important for anyone quitting
You'll find a lot of that here, have you thought of face to face support as well as SR (AA etc)?
D
I know from my own personal history that drinking never helped solve any of my problems, & drinking to try and solve someone else's problems was even more futile.
I think Anna gives some good advice on that score.
As for you, you say you need help.
I think supports important for anyone quitting
You'll find a lot of that here, have you thought of face to face support as well as SR (AA etc)?
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Yeah...Going to an AA meeting was key for me...Being around people that had the same problem and a solution to solve it was exactly what I needed. It gave me hope...And I was hopeless.....I haven't looked back since.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by holbrook
I think for the past 5 years I have had a drinking problem. I drink wine, a lot. So much so that I buy two 1.5 liters at a time, hide one and use it to fill up the one in the fridge so it does not look like I am drinking a lot. But the key is I hide them, all over the house. And this morning my husband caught me. He found some of my empty bottles. I tried blowing it off like it was nothing. But then I went around cleaning out the places where I hide the bottles and there were 2 1/2 big trash bags full of empty wine bottles around the house. I used to only drink a glass or two before, but then something happened in 07 that began my drinking during the day. I have a stomach problem and have to take this powder medicine, but when we go to his parents (who will make anyone drink) I put vodka in my Gatorade. I need help. The problem is I think one reason I drink is my husband. He has a horrible pot and anger problem. I think I just want to dull it all out. Dull the abuse, his problem, my life. What do I do?
I also used to hide booze and double up my bottles with a secret stash on top of my kitchen cupboards. I went from wine to whisky and vodka and that is a path you DO NOT want to go down. I cleared out all my empties from my stashes when I stopped and it was horrific.
As has been previously stated, don't delay - stop, it will be hard but your life and health will be better without the poison you are pouring into your system. Be strong and don't be afraid to ask for help.
Gone In
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 223
I know exactly how you feel. I started getting scared when I was hauling two big, black completely full trashbags of empties out from under the house every couple weeks.
I know that sickening feeling of getting caught by my spouse, and it getting worse every successive time I was caught.
I remember the anxiety I would get hoping my spouse wouldn't find anymore and desperately planning how I would get rid of them.
The only thing that made all that go away for me was quitting drinking.
I know that sickening feeling of getting caught by my spouse, and it getting worse every successive time I was caught.
I remember the anxiety I would get hoping my spouse wouldn't find anymore and desperately planning how I would get rid of them.
The only thing that made all that go away for me was quitting drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Hi Holbrook, what do you want to do? I am glad you shared with us. I'd say that hiding bottles and drinking during the day a progressively growing amount is troublesome. Kudos to you for recognizing that and reaching out for help!
I don't know what kind of abuse you are enduring but I encourage you to reach out to a trusted person in your life - a respected friend or church person, or doctor, or if you have employee resources at your job - to talk about the abuse. As for the drinking, you don't HAVE to keep up with it. You can stop if you want, with help. I think it will make you happier if you do stop. But you have to take the first step of getting to an AA meeting or going to treatment. There are lots of online folks here to support you through it ALL the way!!! Use us.
I don't know what kind of abuse you are enduring but I encourage you to reach out to a trusted person in your life - a respected friend or church person, or doctor, or if you have employee resources at your job - to talk about the abuse. As for the drinking, you don't HAVE to keep up with it. You can stop if you want, with help. I think it will make you happier if you do stop. But you have to take the first step of getting to an AA meeting or going to treatment. There are lots of online folks here to support you through it ALL the way!!! Use us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: T-town, Wa State
Posts: 2
Hi Holbrook - wow, I could have written that exactly, it's almost eerie! I think we arrived the same day in the right place. Am very appreciative of the posts and support of people who have lived through this. Thought I was alone. Holbrook we can both do it. We reached out. Thank you all.
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