Managed to get through Day 2 !!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Mumbai, India
Posts: 5
Managed to get through Day 2 !!
Hi all,
I'm 39 and married, with 2 little daughters. I am located in ******, India. I have been a reasonably heavy drinker for the past 7-8 years or so. Thing is, I just couldn't fight the urge to get in a few drinks after work, before I got back home.
While there was always someone from work to join me, I realized that the company really didn't matter anymore, since I was equally comfortable drinking alone. The worst part is that this was becoming an everyday thing, and I was getting into more and more arguments with my wife over my drinking habit. In fact, I used to feel that she was nagging me all the time, and used to wonder why she had to make a big deal of everything. I have never been abusive to her or the kids so far, and I'm glad I didn't reach that stage, though I now realize that she was and is completely justified on her part, in feeling the way she does.
Two days ago, I went on one of my solo drinking binges, and realized only when I got back home late that night, that I had missed my younger daughter's 6th birthday!!! And that realization gave me a big jolt, which I truly hope would be the beginning of a new life. After all, it's never too late to change...for the better!!
I now realize that this habit had led me to neglect my family, and the ones that I love the most. I decided that I cannot allow the booze to control my life, and wreck it any further than it already has. I successfully managed to come back home straight on Day 1 of my new life, and was relieved. Day 2 (today) was more difficult than I thought. As soon as I left the office, I started getting these thoughts in my head...started thinking, why don't I just visit the neighborhood bar, and maybe just sit around watching the cricket game for some time. After all, I had decided to give up drinking, hadn't I? And there was this other lil voice in my head which kept telling me that if I step inside the place, I wouldn't be able to resist, and one drink would lead to another. It also kept telling me that I was going back towards the same thing which made me miss my little girls birthday...and that again, brought me back in control.
I eventually ended up visiting a local coffee shop, and ordered a sandwich and a latte....spent 30 mins watching the game, and headed straight home, successfully getting through Day 2. My wife is still upset with me over the fact that I was absent for the special occasion...and she is right to think that way. All I want to do now, is to give up this cursed habit, and gain their trust and love back. I know it's not going to be easy, and that there would be several situations where the urge is going to be really, really hard to fight, but I intend to sincerely do my best, and hope that I'm able to be a better husband and father. Any tips or advice would be much appreciated.
I'm 39 and married, with 2 little daughters. I am located in ******, India. I have been a reasonably heavy drinker for the past 7-8 years or so. Thing is, I just couldn't fight the urge to get in a few drinks after work, before I got back home.
While there was always someone from work to join me, I realized that the company really didn't matter anymore, since I was equally comfortable drinking alone. The worst part is that this was becoming an everyday thing, and I was getting into more and more arguments with my wife over my drinking habit. In fact, I used to feel that she was nagging me all the time, and used to wonder why she had to make a big deal of everything. I have never been abusive to her or the kids so far, and I'm glad I didn't reach that stage, though I now realize that she was and is completely justified on her part, in feeling the way she does.
Two days ago, I went on one of my solo drinking binges, and realized only when I got back home late that night, that I had missed my younger daughter's 6th birthday!!! And that realization gave me a big jolt, which I truly hope would be the beginning of a new life. After all, it's never too late to change...for the better!!
I now realize that this habit had led me to neglect my family, and the ones that I love the most. I decided that I cannot allow the booze to control my life, and wreck it any further than it already has. I successfully managed to come back home straight on Day 1 of my new life, and was relieved. Day 2 (today) was more difficult than I thought. As soon as I left the office, I started getting these thoughts in my head...started thinking, why don't I just visit the neighborhood bar, and maybe just sit around watching the cricket game for some time. After all, I had decided to give up drinking, hadn't I? And there was this other lil voice in my head which kept telling me that if I step inside the place, I wouldn't be able to resist, and one drink would lead to another. It also kept telling me that I was going back towards the same thing which made me miss my little girls birthday...and that again, brought me back in control.
I eventually ended up visiting a local coffee shop, and ordered a sandwich and a latte....spent 30 mins watching the game, and headed straight home, successfully getting through Day 2. My wife is still upset with me over the fact that I was absent for the special occasion...and she is right to think that way. All I want to do now, is to give up this cursed habit, and gain their trust and love back. I know it's not going to be easy, and that there would be several situations where the urge is going to be really, really hard to fight, but I intend to sincerely do my best, and hope that I'm able to be a better husband and father. Any tips or advice would be much appreciated.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Mumbai, India
Posts: 5
Thanks IreLander & NextChapter, I've been lurking around this forum for some time now...some times even while sitting in a bar drinking..and finally made the courage to register and say all that I did.
I feel glad I did though...and it feels good to see that there are many folks out here who seem to have been successfully able to make a fresh start. I'm willing to do all that it takes, but just hoping I won't fall through again.
I feel glad I did though...and it feels good to see that there are many folks out here who seem to have been successfully able to make a fresh start. I'm willing to do all that it takes, but just hoping I won't fall through again.
Last edited by mrao; 04-17-2012 at 11:22 AM. Reason: Wanted to include nextchapter
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR mrao....Good to have you here...My advice....Take a look at this site....Make a call and try out an AA meeting or two....If you like it...Wonderful. If it's not for you...At least you tried it. I only recommend it because it saved my life.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), nonprofits & donors ****** India
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), nonprofits & donors ****** India
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Mumbai, India
Posts: 5
Thanks Sapling. I'm trying to take it one day at a time, and see how long I can hold it. Feel really good about going dry for two straight working days. If I break again in this week, or the next, or the ones after that, first thing I'm going to do is call that number. Thanks for the input.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by mrao 
Thanks Sapling. I'm trying to take it one day at a time, and see how long I can hold it. Feel really good about going dry for two straight working days. If I break again in this week, or the next, or the ones after that, first thing I'm going to do is call that number. Thanks for the input.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Good luck.
I picked a number of days reached it and then kept on.
The first few weeks are challenging but also so rewarding. Remember the rewards and you will forget the bumps.
Would your wife be happy to hear if she does it would make life easier and she can support
John.
I picked a number of days reached it and then kept on.
The first few weeks are challenging but also so rewarding. Remember the rewards and you will forget the bumps.
Would your wife be happy to hear if she does it would make life easier and she can support
John.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Mumbai, India
Posts: 5
Have almooooost managed to get through Day 3. It was a long, humid and 39 degree Celsius day..and the traffic was killing. I could actually feel the pull towards a a couple of cold beers..but somehow managed to fight it.. Will be reaching home in about 30 mins.. And when I do ..it would be a successful day 3..also, I just realized that I just need to control the urge for 2 hours a day when I'm returning from work .. Its tough and i mean that. But now that I've stayed away from the stuff for 3 straight days..I regret not having realized this earlier and having wasted so much time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 122
Hi. Welcome to SR. You are doing so well. Find whatever support you can. I use this site as do many others.
You want a drink cos its hot, I'm in the North of England, I want a drink to warm me up.
But the result is the same, it ruins our lives and takes over. Be strong. You are doing well. Sounds like you have a lot to sober up for.
You want a drink cos its hot, I'm in the North of England, I want a drink to warm me up.
But the result is the same, it ruins our lives and takes over. Be strong. You are doing well. Sounds like you have a lot to sober up for.
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