another woman while in rehab..REALLY??
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 9
another woman while in rehab..REALLY??
So I have been in al-anon for three weeks now and I’m having trouble with the control/checking up/snooping thing. My RABF is in a recovery home and we share a cell phone plan. I recently found a number on my bill that is being texted an obscene amount of times all through out the day and late into the night after he’s told me he’s going to bed. I asked him about this number and he said it was a friend we will call him "Jon". So me being paranoid and having a feeling that he was lying, I Google said number. It is not Jon. It is a woman. Our age, from another program HA. Snooping again, I find out that they are friends on FB and she comments often on his posts and songs and they check in (other friends as well) to places together. A few months ago we had a talk and he told me he was guilty "in the past" of nurturing relationships before he was out of the last. I now believe he did that with me (I found this out recently only after looking through his email).
We have talked about this a number of times and he assures me that I’m the only woman in his life. He says he’s in a recovery home and has nothing to offer anyone (yet when I met him he was in a halfway house just coming out of a two year prison term). I never called him lying to me about it not being Jon, and never told him that i knew who she was. I often react before getting all the info and knowing what is really going on, but i can’t help but feel like there is more going on. I was speaking to one of the ladies in my al-anon group about this and she said i need to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t compete in a race hoping to fail. He is in recovery and needs to have a large support system around him and not to react without first knowing all of the information. I honestly don’t know the content of the messages but I do know he would be PISSED if the shoe were on the other foot. I am feeling all of this anxiety about this and I know I have done it to myself because of my snooping, but what do i do now?
Do I tell him that I know who it is, where she works, what her b-day is, and that her father is a patient at my office
He keeps asking me to work my steps and get better so we can have a healthy happy relationship but I cant help but feel like he’s emotionally attaching himself to another woman at the same time just incase we don’t work out. I don’t want to throw away this relationship on what could turn out to be nothing but I also don’t want to be " Ms. Good enough for right now" either. Why don’t I believe him when he says he loves me and I’m enough for him? Why am I so insecure that I can’t give him his space to do what he needs to do to recover? He tells me I am the only source of stress in his life and he loves me and he’s being patient with me starting and getting help but that I'm going to have to stop at some point. I'm going to have to stop being selfish and thinking about just myself and start thinking about him. I get his weekends and he checks in through out the day with me. I just have this feeling I can’t shake. The snooping has really gotten me into a rut.
We have talked about this a number of times and he assures me that I’m the only woman in his life. He says he’s in a recovery home and has nothing to offer anyone (yet when I met him he was in a halfway house just coming out of a two year prison term). I never called him lying to me about it not being Jon, and never told him that i knew who she was. I often react before getting all the info and knowing what is really going on, but i can’t help but feel like there is more going on. I was speaking to one of the ladies in my al-anon group about this and she said i need to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t compete in a race hoping to fail. He is in recovery and needs to have a large support system around him and not to react without first knowing all of the information. I honestly don’t know the content of the messages but I do know he would be PISSED if the shoe were on the other foot. I am feeling all of this anxiety about this and I know I have done it to myself because of my snooping, but what do i do now?
Do I tell him that I know who it is, where she works, what her b-day is, and that her father is a patient at my office
He keeps asking me to work my steps and get better so we can have a healthy happy relationship but I cant help but feel like he’s emotionally attaching himself to another woman at the same time just incase we don’t work out. I don’t want to throw away this relationship on what could turn out to be nothing but I also don’t want to be " Ms. Good enough for right now" either. Why don’t I believe him when he says he loves me and I’m enough for him? Why am I so insecure that I can’t give him his space to do what he needs to do to recover? He tells me I am the only source of stress in his life and he loves me and he’s being patient with me starting and getting help but that I'm going to have to stop at some point. I'm going to have to stop being selfish and thinking about just myself and start thinking about him. I get his weekends and he checks in through out the day with me. I just have this feeling I can’t shake. The snooping has really gotten me into a rut.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by starchild8825 
I just have this feeling I can’t shake. The snooping has really gotten me into a rut.
Snooping isn't putting you in a rut. This relationship is. There are healthier men out there who won't be contacting women inappropriately. I have a few male friends, but it is related only to certain aspects of my life...work friends, program friends. We don't text nor am I even on Facebook. We touch base and catch up and that's that. We are all married, too. It's respectful. You aren't getting that respect from this guy.
Snooping is wrong. It creates fear and wild imaginations. But the fact that you feel so insecure that you need to snoop speaks loudly to how well this relationship is functioning.
Keep going to meetings. Find a good sponsor. Start to work on why you think this is a guy worth wasting any more time over.
And P.S. You working on your issues won't make the relationship better. That's a two way street.
Take good care,
~T
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 329
Bless your heart. I feel for you, knave been thru all of the above. Hoping your situation will be better than my experience. Unless you are topically jealous or over the edge then trust your instinct. I was clueless and it has been a nightmare. However, that does not mean your situation will be the same. They do need much support in recovery and they Jake new friends. In my case it wasn't a new friend...it was a new girlfriend from h... In rehab. Sad deal and a disaster for everyone. This site has been very helpful. When I start to become overwhelmed, I get on here and read...read...read. It helps me to realize I am not alone. Wishing all works out well for you.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
He appears to be a serial cheater...IMHO, he will not change. You don't believe him because he is doing what addicts do...lie. Although, cheating and addiction are two totally different issues. Trust your gut...it will tell you the truth.
If he is in recovery, he has a built in support system and that's not you. Continue to work on you, your recovery from codependency is your responsibility, his recovery is his.
This relationship will never work unless you both are healthy.
There is no rush, give him his space, back off, if your relationship is mean't to be, it will happen...you can't fit a square peg into a round hole...
If he is in recovery, he has a built in support system and that's not you. Continue to work on you, your recovery from codependency is your responsibility, his recovery is his.
This relationship will never work unless you both are healthy.
There is no rush, give him his space, back off, if your relationship is mean't to be, it will happen...you can't fit a square peg into a round hole...
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: sitting down and facing front
Posts: 170
(I think this is the first time I have been moved strongly enough to reply... so if I get it wrong, forgive me).
Dodgy phone calls aside, this stood out:
You said "He tells me I am the only source of stress in his life and he loves me and he’s being patient with me starting and getting help but that I'm going to have to stop at some point. I'm going to have to stop being selfish and thinking about just myself and start thinking about him. I get his weekends and he checks in through out the day with me"
Deflection, much? Sounds like he is trying to put the focus back on you so you can be blamed for anything that goes wrong :-(
That being said, the "snooping" is hurting you more than anything else ... take care
-Missus
Dodgy phone calls aside, this stood out:
You said "He tells me I am the only source of stress in his life and he loves me and he’s being patient with me starting and getting help but that I'm going to have to stop at some point. I'm going to have to stop being selfish and thinking about just myself and start thinking about him. I get his weekends and he checks in through out the day with me"
Deflection, much? Sounds like he is trying to put the focus back on you so you can be blamed for anything that goes wrong :-(
That being said, the "snooping" is hurting you more than anything else ... take care
-Missus
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Why would you feel the need to confront him about what you already know???
You also know he is a liar, are you hoping he will tell you something you can believe? Something you can live with?
Do you need a famous final scene? You already have your answer......... I would simply pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on.........
You also know he is a liar, are you hoping he will tell you something you can believe? Something you can live with?
Do you need a famous final scene? You already have your answer......... I would simply pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on.........
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 9
I wasn’t always this way; it’s been since the drinking and the drugs that I have become a freakin stalker. There was a time when I trusted him completely and never needed to check up on him. Nor did I worry about what he was doing or who he was with. It wasn’t until he was out on an all night binge that I started to wonder if he was being faithful.
We did talk about it and I told him what I found out. He said he already knew I was trippin about it because I have been dropping unsubtle hints recently. He assured me this person is a "friend" who helped him a lot with his 4th step. Apparently she is working with a group that does the blue book backwards and puts some of the responses into questions. (I believe that’s what he said). Not sure why that’s relevant to this but, I told him that I was uncomfortable with the amount of texts that were being sent and he would be just as upset as I was if the shoe were on the other foot. (There was a whole lot more to the conversation but a small recap) To which he agreed that he would be pissed off.
A little back story
When he went on this last binge, he had been gone for a few days and I ended up contacting someone I felt could help me in my situation. (A recovering addict/family friend) They knew each other from the halfway house and to my qualifier this man was someone he felt, wanted to be involved with me, (a little history about this man I am referring to, he dated my mom for a short time twenty plus years ago. I was a child at the time not even 8. If anything he’s like an uncle to me not a love interest).
We ended up texting all throughout the day and into the night. I was devastated. I didn’t eat and couldn’t sleep was throwing up what I did get down. My kids ran a muck and I didn’t leave the house, so I can understand when something big and life changing is happening to you that sometimes you need someone else there to help you through it. I get that. I ended up telling him about it and he checked our bill and was soooo angry about the amount of messages we sent back and forth. All the while he was creating some sexual relationship that NEVER happened. It is still a very very very sore subject. Is he getting me back for this? Now that he’s in recovery has he befriended a woman to help him through this process just like I did, so I know how it feels??
Before we talked I decided to call an alanon friend for a little advice. She advised me to look beyond what I could possibly be creating regarding this situation Not knowing context, But see that there have been changes made. She asked me if I were running in a race would I want to win or lose. WIN. Would I try my hardest if I already knew I was going to lose? No probably not. She said that it was my decision to let him in on my extent of the snooping. If I really wanted this to work then I would have to trust him at some point. I’m glad I did after talking with him about it, I do feel better. I did not or have not felt the urge to look at the bill. I haven't snooped in days!! We are slowing things down a bit though. I’m working with my sponsor hopefully going to start my steps soon, she wants me in the program longer than three weeks. This is good for me lord knows I need a new hobby. I know that I have to focus on myself and my recovery. If this doesn’t work and he is lying to me about this then I know that I ran my race.The right way and with all of my everything.
We did talk about it and I told him what I found out. He said he already knew I was trippin about it because I have been dropping unsubtle hints recently. He assured me this person is a "friend" who helped him a lot with his 4th step. Apparently she is working with a group that does the blue book backwards and puts some of the responses into questions. (I believe that’s what he said). Not sure why that’s relevant to this but, I told him that I was uncomfortable with the amount of texts that were being sent and he would be just as upset as I was if the shoe were on the other foot. (There was a whole lot more to the conversation but a small recap) To which he agreed that he would be pissed off.
A little back story
When he went on this last binge, he had been gone for a few days and I ended up contacting someone I felt could help me in my situation. (A recovering addict/family friend) They knew each other from the halfway house and to my qualifier this man was someone he felt, wanted to be involved with me, (a little history about this man I am referring to, he dated my mom for a short time twenty plus years ago. I was a child at the time not even 8. If anything he’s like an uncle to me not a love interest).
We ended up texting all throughout the day and into the night. I was devastated. I didn’t eat and couldn’t sleep was throwing up what I did get down. My kids ran a muck and I didn’t leave the house, so I can understand when something big and life changing is happening to you that sometimes you need someone else there to help you through it. I get that. I ended up telling him about it and he checked our bill and was soooo angry about the amount of messages we sent back and forth. All the while he was creating some sexual relationship that NEVER happened. It is still a very very very sore subject. Is he getting me back for this? Now that he’s in recovery has he befriended a woman to help him through this process just like I did, so I know how it feels??
Before we talked I decided to call an alanon friend for a little advice. She advised me to look beyond what I could possibly be creating regarding this situation Not knowing context, But see that there have been changes made. She asked me if I were running in a race would I want to win or lose. WIN. Would I try my hardest if I already knew I was going to lose? No probably not. She said that it was my decision to let him in on my extent of the snooping. If I really wanted this to work then I would have to trust him at some point. I’m glad I did after talking with him about it, I do feel better. I did not or have not felt the urge to look at the bill. I haven't snooped in days!! We are slowing things down a bit though. I’m working with my sponsor hopefully going to start my steps soon, she wants me in the program longer than three weeks. This is good for me lord knows I need a new hobby. I know that I have to focus on myself and my recovery. If this doesn’t work and he is lying to me about this then I know that I ran my race.The right way and with all of my everything.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Yes, you need to focus on you, your recovery from codependency. And, you should make any minor children your priorty, you are their future, and, they will carry their childhood into adulthood. Set a good example for them.
Take care of you.
Take care of you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
There is a saying here and in Al-Anon...more to be revealed. Sometimes we have to just stop all the worrying and go with what is right now... the rest will amazingly work itself out without our "help" or intervention.
If there is one thing I have learned through alcoholism and recovery - things don't happen on my time frame based on how I feel about it all. Damn it.
Things happen as they are meant to be, there is a higher power (whatever we all choose to call it) and its not me. I couldn't force relationship issues early on. I could simply set boundaries and follow through on them. What my RAH did wasn't in my control anyway.
Work the steps - it'll help take your mind off of everything else. And go play with your kids! ; )
Take good care,
~T
If there is one thing I have learned through alcoholism and recovery - things don't happen on my time frame based on how I feel about it all. Damn it.
Things happen as they are meant to be, there is a higher power (whatever we all choose to call it) and its not me. I couldn't force relationship issues early on. I could simply set boundaries and follow through on them. What my RAH did wasn't in my control anyway.
Work the steps - it'll help take your mind off of everything else. And go play with your kids! ; )
Take good care,
~T
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Originally Posted by starchild8825
I wasn’t always this way; it’s been since the drinking and the drugs that I have become a freakin stalker.
Unlearning this behavior and figuring out how to trust him again won't happen overnight, either.
There's also no guarantee that you will be able to trust him again. Part of that depends upon how much damage has already been done to your trust, and part of that depends upon how trustworthy he behaves in the future. And that's okay, too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: SERENITY
Posts: 58
. I recently found a number on my bill that is being texted an obscene amount of times all through out the day and late into the night after he’s told me he’s going to bed.
Sounds like to me that he is not focusing on recovering if he is making all those texts. His main concern could be himself and recovery. In fact "they" are told this. They are told not to create relationships like that (if it is what you think). In AA they call this Step 13.
Tell him what you know. Truth, Truth and Truth. But, still take care of yourself and your kids.
Why is he concerned about you working your steps?
Sounds like to me that he is not focusing on recovering if he is making all those texts. His main concern could be himself and recovery. In fact "they" are told this. They are told not to create relationships like that (if it is what you think). In AA they call this Step 13.
Tell him what you know. Truth, Truth and Truth. But, still take care of yourself and your kids.
Why is he concerned about you working your steps?
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Ugh, I'm doing the same thing. Know exactly how you feel. Recently broke up with my ABF ... but I knew his email password so I snooped one day just to see if he was trash-talking me to any of our friends about why I had left. And found out about another woman. It was excruciatingly clear what happened between them. I confronted him (using a ruse as to how I'd gotten the info) and he lied and lied and lied. Denied everything. More snooping revealed more and more disgusting behavior. He changed his password. I figured out the new one. I've never snooped on anyone before but I'm having a hard time breaking the pattern. After all the lies, the only thing that makes me feel a small measure of control (there's that word) is knowing what he's REALLY doing. It's like an inoculation against ever being tempted to go back to him, but I hate it. It's an addiction in itself, and I can't stand the crazy. I'm half-tempted to tell him everything and say "change your password to something I can't figure out, you idiot," but that would cause me problems in other areas. Trying to wean off. I know I can't win, and I know it's not "me" doing this, it's the disease(s). Thanks for your post, it's good to know I'm not alone.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 9
Sometimes I do wonder if he's playing me. Using me for what he needs now then will throw me away later. I'm feeling myself detaching from this just to not get hurt if it does happen. We talked about this too. Not about the detaching part but the using me part. I'm not sure what I think anymore. I do know that once we talked I felt better. I have no urge to look anymore and I hope it stayes. Several things have happened to me in the last week. Things I would normally freak out about and I stayed calm and prayed and it helped.I didn't have that adrenaline heart thump that I normally feel when things get a little crazy. I finally slept ( possibly the benadryl) last night and I feel great today. I might be an idiot for buying into his lies if that's what the are, but I'm hopeful that he's not lying and that he does love me like he says he does. I know I need alanon, I want to get better too. I need this for me and my kids.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Another Earth
Posts: 172
I do not normally post about my ex but I will share with you what I recently posted on Friends and Family of Substance Abusers because there are similarities to our situations as far as the "other woman". I apologize, it is a long post, but for what it is worth.....
I have not really posted too much on here about my ex. I do try to keep the focus on me. I just really need to vent. Back in November, after almost 7 years on the crazy train, I asked my ex ABF to leave our home. He went to a sober living home and we still maintained contact and were a part of each other's lives. I'd say within a month I found out he was talking to a female, also in AA. I confronted him with it and he admitted there was an interest and then tried to use it as leverage to move back home. I made more steps to separate him from my life, such as taking him off my phone plan, getting his name off the lease, change of address, etc. I guess you could say I went "partial no contact"...lol. I did block him from my phone, however, he would still call my work. Most times I would just gently hang up the phone without talking to him. However, I will fully admit there were times when I would engage him, due to my own addiction to the chaos. Starting in January he was begging me to take him back, insisting this woman was just a friend, she is so strong in her program, if he could have a female sponsor he would ask her....blah, blah, blah. He would show up at my house and my job begging me to take him back. By the same token, he continued to relapse, while insisting he was working the program. The last couple months I have not been engaging him. He would still call my work every few days and I just hang up as soon as I hear his voice. I absolutely know that I do not want to, nor will I ever, be with him again. The last 7 years were filled with drug use, chaos, legal issues, lies, deceit, POOR, POOR decisions on his part involving my own kids, resulting in my ex husband getting an Order of Protection against him. I am working every day to get over the shame of my own addiction to HIM and the sickness. One month ago he showed up at my doorstep high, saying he was kicked out of the sober house and had no where to go. Needless to say, I did not let him in, but I also did not call the police because part of me still felt bad for him. He called me Friday the 13th and silly me listened to him and his nonsense....I love you, I want a relationship with you, he truly loves me, he misses every thing about me, he is not giving up on us, he feels we will be together forever - begged to take me out for my birthday and then make love ...WTF...seriously?? Well, Sunday 4 a.m. Mister "I am working my program" shows up at my doorstep high talking crazy **** about my daughter. I told him to call his sponsor, there was nothing I can do for him. He kept saying he was going to go to my ex's, who had my kids that night. I prayed he wouldn't but he did. Surprisingly, my ex did not call the police right away. He told him to go sleep it off, that he needs help, etc. He left and I guess went back a second time and the ex did call. Next thing the police are at my door because his car was in front of my house but he was on foot somewhere. He was arrested for violating the order of protection and has been in the county jail since. Well last night I found out from my ex ABF's ex wife (who I honestly do not really talk to anymore, but since I was already in "crazy" mode I picked up) that he has been living with this woman! I cannot say I am surprised and even though I do not entertain any thoughts about being with him, it was like a kick in the gut. I had a feeling for the last 2 weeks I was going to be presented with info about him that I really did not want to hear. What kind of strong AA woman, with 2 young sons, takes a man into her home who is an active addict after knowing him for a few months?? Then I think, well I eventually moved in with him, however, he did have some moments of not using, so I guess that is how I excused it in my mind. Supposedly, she is 'done' with him now too. And his stupid car is still in front of my house as a reminder. UGH. However, all this being said, I DO take care of me. I attend Al Anon, read a ton of self help books, read and print out stuff from the SR boards, go out more with my friends and family. Just went to doc and I have lost 21 pounds so far. I have a peace in my home and life that I have not probably ever felt. This was a wake up call as to my own recovery. I think it was easy to remain on top as long as in the back of my mind I had a TINY sliver of hope that he was still hanging on to me and was not with this woman. I truly realize that was not healthy and held me back emotionally and spiritually. I know this info was presented to me for that reason. I need to completely let him go from my thoughts. So I printed out Cynical's recent reminder of what no contact really is and I am adhering to it!!! No contact means NONE. I am not talking to his ex anymore and I am going to have to ask my own kids to not tell me about any communication they have with his kids. I don't need any reminders of him. I do know what it is I need to do for me, but for some reason, finding this out was a blow to my ego. Sorry for the long post and thanks for letting me share.
I have not really posted too much on here about my ex. I do try to keep the focus on me. I just really need to vent. Back in November, after almost 7 years on the crazy train, I asked my ex ABF to leave our home. He went to a sober living home and we still maintained contact and were a part of each other's lives. I'd say within a month I found out he was talking to a female, also in AA. I confronted him with it and he admitted there was an interest and then tried to use it as leverage to move back home. I made more steps to separate him from my life, such as taking him off my phone plan, getting his name off the lease, change of address, etc. I guess you could say I went "partial no contact"...lol. I did block him from my phone, however, he would still call my work. Most times I would just gently hang up the phone without talking to him. However, I will fully admit there were times when I would engage him, due to my own addiction to the chaos. Starting in January he was begging me to take him back, insisting this woman was just a friend, she is so strong in her program, if he could have a female sponsor he would ask her....blah, blah, blah. He would show up at my house and my job begging me to take him back. By the same token, he continued to relapse, while insisting he was working the program. The last couple months I have not been engaging him. He would still call my work every few days and I just hang up as soon as I hear his voice. I absolutely know that I do not want to, nor will I ever, be with him again. The last 7 years were filled with drug use, chaos, legal issues, lies, deceit, POOR, POOR decisions on his part involving my own kids, resulting in my ex husband getting an Order of Protection against him. I am working every day to get over the shame of my own addiction to HIM and the sickness. One month ago he showed up at my doorstep high, saying he was kicked out of the sober house and had no where to go. Needless to say, I did not let him in, but I also did not call the police because part of me still felt bad for him. He called me Friday the 13th and silly me listened to him and his nonsense....I love you, I want a relationship with you, he truly loves me, he misses every thing about me, he is not giving up on us, he feels we will be together forever - begged to take me out for my birthday and then make love ...WTF...seriously?? Well, Sunday 4 a.m. Mister "I am working my program" shows up at my doorstep high talking crazy **** about my daughter. I told him to call his sponsor, there was nothing I can do for him. He kept saying he was going to go to my ex's, who had my kids that night. I prayed he wouldn't but he did. Surprisingly, my ex did not call the police right away. He told him to go sleep it off, that he needs help, etc. He left and I guess went back a second time and the ex did call. Next thing the police are at my door because his car was in front of my house but he was on foot somewhere. He was arrested for violating the order of protection and has been in the county jail since. Well last night I found out from my ex ABF's ex wife (who I honestly do not really talk to anymore, but since I was already in "crazy" mode I picked up) that he has been living with this woman! I cannot say I am surprised and even though I do not entertain any thoughts about being with him, it was like a kick in the gut. I had a feeling for the last 2 weeks I was going to be presented with info about him that I really did not want to hear. What kind of strong AA woman, with 2 young sons, takes a man into her home who is an active addict after knowing him for a few months?? Then I think, well I eventually moved in with him, however, he did have some moments of not using, so I guess that is how I excused it in my mind. Supposedly, she is 'done' with him now too. And his stupid car is still in front of my house as a reminder. UGH. However, all this being said, I DO take care of me. I attend Al Anon, read a ton of self help books, read and print out stuff from the SR boards, go out more with my friends and family. Just went to doc and I have lost 21 pounds so far. I have a peace in my home and life that I have not probably ever felt. This was a wake up call as to my own recovery. I think it was easy to remain on top as long as in the back of my mind I had a TINY sliver of hope that he was still hanging on to me and was not with this woman. I truly realize that was not healthy and held me back emotionally and spiritually. I know this info was presented to me for that reason. I need to completely let him go from my thoughts. So I printed out Cynical's recent reminder of what no contact really is and I am adhering to it!!! No contact means NONE. I am not talking to his ex anymore and I am going to have to ask my own kids to not tell me about any communication they have with his kids. I don't need any reminders of him. I do know what it is I need to do for me, but for some reason, finding this out was a blow to my ego. Sorry for the long post and thanks for letting me share.
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