Secrets and lies..Save me
Secrets and lies..Save me
I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm so tired of hiding everything. My life is pointless and I know I'm to blame. I know you guys will tell me that I have to save myself but I can't. I want to but its like I'm trapped under this thing that controls me and as hard as I fight, it is stronger. I don't care enough about myself to try anymore. I hate admitting how weak and pathetic I am but here it is. All I need is one person to help me get clean for a week, and I could take it from there. I need someone to not allow me to get drugs. I can't do it myself. If I.can make it one week I know I can regain some control and hope. What does it say about me that in my 32 years I have not found one person I can go to and beg for help. No best friend, no family, no safe place. Hell I'm thinking I'll hire some random stranger to help me at this point. I know I'm supposed to do it myself but I'm telling you I need just 7 days of someone looking out for me. Anybody. I'm beyond stupid but whatever I still need help. Yesterday I actually went to the guy who sexually assaulted me to buy drugs because I am so self destructive that I'm constantly being reckless. I wànt to push myself over the edge so I kill myself. This internal battle rages all the while I lie to everyone and my life is secret. I know you all are going to yell at me but please don't be harsh, I can't take it..I know I'm pathetic and ridiculous.
Hardy,
can you get into a detox? It usually four to five days and they can help you make longer term plans if you want.
Addiction is insanity but it's treatable. We do recover. We really do.
You can call Salvation Army and see what they have available in your area. If you can make it to the Los Angeles area, you might check out The Clare Foundation. Try this link for Clare: Clare Foundation Inc Treatment Detox Center in Santa Monica, California
You can do this. Keep posting here,read the info.
Love from Lenina
can you get into a detox? It usually four to five days and they can help you make longer term plans if you want.
Addiction is insanity but it's treatable. We do recover. We really do.
You can call Salvation Army and see what they have available in your area. If you can make it to the Los Angeles area, you might check out The Clare Foundation. Try this link for Clare: Clare Foundation Inc Treatment Detox Center in Santa Monica, California
You can do this. Keep posting here,read the info.
Love from Lenina
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
I know all to well being controlled by active addiction. You have wrote all the things I have and you are not pathetic.
You need help as you know all to well.
What do want to do as far as addiction treatment goes?
There is AA/NA to go to. There may be some rehabs you can afford. You are here at SR, you can continue to get support here.
No matter what you are worthy and valued as a person that needs the help to overcome an addiction that is not the real you.
You need help as you know all to well.
What do want to do as far as addiction treatment goes?
There is AA/NA to go to. There may be some rehabs you can afford. You are here at SR, you can continue to get support here.
No matter what you are worthy and valued as a person that needs the help to overcome an addiction that is not the real you.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
I posted the AA Bakersfield website yesterday for you.
Can you call the hotline and ask for a female member to contact you and arrange for some support?
AA Kern County Central Office
Here is a link for NA
Bakersfield, CA Drug Addiction / Narcotics Anonymous Meetings
There are people that would help you...but you have to make the call. You have to reach out, ask for help, locally from recovered women. They will rally around you if you would only pick up the phone and be clear on your request.
Can you call the hotline and ask for a female member to contact you and arrange for some support?
AA Kern County Central Office
Here is a link for NA
Bakersfield, CA Drug Addiction / Narcotics Anonymous Meetings
There are people that would help you...but you have to make the call. You have to reach out, ask for help, locally from recovered women. They will rally around you if you would only pick up the phone and be clear on your request.
Hardy
if you use this website and enter your location you'll be able to find all the treatment facilities near you
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
I used to want someone to help me too..finally I worked it it rarely works like that.
I needed to make the phone calls, I needed to do the leg work to find out my options...I needed to reach out for help.
I know it's difficult but if there's one thing I've learned it's that action changes things and gets us out of the cycle we're in.
Please do something Hardy - I think you're worth it
D
if you use this website and enter your location you'll be able to find all the treatment facilities near you
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
I used to want someone to help me too..finally I worked it it rarely works like that.
I needed to make the phone calls, I needed to do the leg work to find out my options...I needed to reach out for help.
I know it's difficult but if there's one thing I've learned it's that action changes things and gets us out of the cycle we're in.
Please do something Hardy - I think you're worth it
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
hardy, go back and read your previous posts. The answers are there.
You have to decide if you are going to fight this or surrender. I surrendered and found all the help I needed in AA.
You have to stop posting "please help me" and take the help that's offered. You are putting yourself through needless misery.
Call the numbers ... that's all that is required now.
All the best.
Bob R
You have to decide if you are going to fight this or surrender. I surrendered and found all the help I needed in AA.
You have to stop posting "please help me" and take the help that's offered. You are putting yourself through needless misery.
Call the numbers ... that's all that is required now.
All the best.
Bob R
Call the AA or NA hotline and ask for help.
Get to a meeting. Doesn't matter if you are still using, just DO IT, hun! You have to reach out in person. You aren't hopeless, you are on here and you ARE reaching out, now it's time to get in person support, and it's out there! If you believe that something exists, make a prayer out loud or silently.
Love, hugs, & prayers sent your way,
Get to a meeting. Doesn't matter if you are still using, just DO IT, hun! You have to reach out in person. You aren't hopeless, you are on here and you ARE reaching out, now it's time to get in person support, and it's out there! If you believe that something exists, make a prayer out loud or silently.
Love, hugs, & prayers sent your way,
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