helpless26

Concerned Friend..
Hi everyone. I have a question for everyone.

My best friend of 26 yrs has a drinking problem. I have continually ignored it and haven't brought it up.......don't really know how to or if I even should. There was a situation that I just found out about that happened on Wednesday.

She goes to a family members house (my cousins) to get her hair done. She was stone cold sober when she got there. She had a Gatorade bottle, that just looked like Gatorade and didn't smell like anything either. By the time she left (2 hours later) she could barely stand up and walk. [Think she thought it wouldn't be noticed]. The problem that we have (my cousin) and I is that she has a 4yr old daughter...that she did have with her. My cousin is now feeling like crap because he let her leave with her child like that. [He is not the only one who noticed either as he lives with his mother].

This is not the first time something like this has happened. I don't want to lose my friendship with her, but more then that I love that little girl like she is my own. I don't want to end up not having her in my life anymore and Im scared for her--she has no control over what her mother does and I don't want her to grow up seeing that and thinking it is ok.

Does anyone have any advise at all as to what my options would be? I have dealt with this before as my ex husband is an alcoholic, but has never admitted it. I guess my problem is "fear" and I know that is something that I have to overcome.

Lilmssunshine

Poor little girl Probably the best thing to do is talk to a counselor that specializes in addiction. That person may be able to help you figure out how to communicate to her in the best possible manner. Very hard situation to deal with. Im sorry you have to feel for the child. The way I look at it is friends love each other and sometimes our friends need tough love. They may not like it at the time but they may appreciate the tough love years down the road. Her daughter needs someone to be her advocate, because her mother isnt one. You can possibly save that child's life by doing something about it. Best of luck.

Tuffgirl

I am with lilms above... good heavens did she drive home like that with her kid in the car?

A few years ago, this same scenario happened here in Anchorage, only there was no kid in the car of the intoxicated driver. She went to a salon for a hair appointment. Drank the entire time she was there. The ladies tried to take her keys, she fought with them, they called the police, she left before the police showed up but did put an APB out on the vehicle.

The driver then proceeded to drive out on our highway going south out of town - a two lane, causing havoc to the drivers there. She finally hit a family head on, killing the Dad, severely injuring the Mom. She has no recollection of even leaving the salon, according to the testimony. I think she was over 3.0 BAL.

Do something. You can make anonymous welfare calls to Child Protective Services. They will have to take your information, but they won't share it with your friend if you ask to remain anonymous.

helpless26

Tuffgirl;
Unfortunately she did.
He feels incredibly guilty about it and is beating himself up for it. We have talked about it a lot in the past couple of days and we both concluded that when I discovered it first hand and he did also, we were just in complete total shock and disbelieving.
I completely understand that this is a disease, I have had to deal with it in the past with my ex-husband; but it really makes me feel that her "thinking" that she is "hiding it" and putting us in this situation is a complete abuse of our friendship. It really angers me. What I will never understand about this disease is the selfishness it creates and that "you" don't even give a D about your children! They are the ones that are going to suffer the most.


I can not even imagine the situation with that lady. Unbelievable!! and so so sad.