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Where's the Happy??

Old 04-13-2012, 01:06 PM
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Where's the Happy??

I keep hearing newly sober people on here saying, "I feel so much better!" "I wake up refreshed in the morning". "I love being sober!".

And then there's me.

I feel like a f-ing person-sized raw nerve. I cry ALL THE TIME. I go from feeling fine to feeling super depressed. I'm obsessive. I'm angry and irritable. I'm exhausted ALL THE TIME. And then I have little blips of "this isn't so bad", and feeling VERY thankful for all of the support and care I am receiving in AA.

I just don't know what's wrong with me! Why am I not happy like the rest of the freaking sober people??
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:09 PM
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I think it depends on how much inside work you need to do.

I had a lot of guilt to work through so I felt much, much better, but it took awhile for 'happy' to settle in.
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:14 PM
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12skip - I felt like that for a few months, honestly. Every day was a little bit better than the last, though. Those blips of 'this isn't so bad' eventually took over, and I began to come out into the sun again.

Don't lose patience with yourself - you are healing. Everyone recovers at a different rate. I predict one day in the not too distant future, you'll wake up feeling fantastic.
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:20 PM
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skip - hang in there. we didn't turn into alcoholics over night so we dirn sure arent gonna feel better over night.

I can totally relate to you.

Just know life wasnt getting any better while we were drinking so we might as well try out this sober bit just to see what it holds in store for us. I got a feeling itll only get better.

Huge hug and thanks for the post.

Makes me feel good to know I am not alone! & you are not either!!!

Let's scream!!!!!! ::::::::
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:27 PM
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Yeah don't compare yourself and your journey to others...just keep walking your path. Your body and your mind are healing from the effects of a huge toxin. Hang in and keep moving forward, never back.
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:33 PM
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Hi Skip - sorry you're down.

I'm not sure what posts you've been reading, but I think the majority of us would say the first 90 days are full of ups and downs?

It actually took me a while to feel happy - I had a lot of work to do....

Try and not measure yourself against others skip - this is your journey...there's probably no journey so uniquely yours as the recovery one...

Whats your support network like? lean on them...and keep moving forward

D
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:38 PM
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Skip, it's the addicition that isn't happy. Next it will be telling you that you might as well drink. I say let it suffer without the booze like it made you suffer with it.
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:15 PM
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Are you working a program of recovery or just attending meetings? The solution is in working the steps with someone who works the steps into their lives. Get phone numbers and call people, read the literature, do service work, reach out to the newcomer, work the steps!

You are on your way to that happiness. Hang in there! Stay strong and stay stopped, it gets better!
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:17 PM
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I used to wonder that at the beginning and thought people were exaggerating.

Happy sober people who were living amazing peaceful lives. But it has turned out true for me and no one is more surprised than me.

I did have a spiritual awakening and this certainly turned things around a lot. Time is also time is a great healer and my body needed to be rid of the alcohol completely and this can take quite a few months

Hang in there

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Old 04-13-2012, 02:22 PM
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Thank you all for your kind words, and not making me feel like a freak. I want to respond to a couple questions.

Yes, I am working the steps, not just attending the meetings. I speak in meetings. I meet with my sponsor regularly. I call the phone numbers on the list, even though it is SOOOO hard to do. I go to meetings even when I don't feel like going. I'm still on step one, but that has been a doozy for me. But, I don't want to just power thru the steps. I want to really mean them. I want them to become my truth. So, I keep wrestling with my brain and my heart and my emotions....but I'm confident I will get to step two.

OMG stepping. I lol to the little screaming guy. That is EXACTLY where I am some days. And it's true, neither of us are all alone.

Dee, I am still trying to "get" the whole, stop compairing my experience to others. Look for the similarities and not the differences. That should be a 13th step, I think because it is freaking HARD!

I'm hanging in there, and just trying to be with myself and my craziness right now. This too shall pass. Someday.
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:30 PM
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Are you seeing a therapist, 12skip? I found that i honestly needed a therapist, a psych and medication to get myself under control and even have a chance at sobriety. If i stay on my meds (i treat them like vitamins) i find that i'm way more stable and able to stay sober. You may need more help than AA alone may offer.
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:30 PM
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ok, I think you're hard at work right now Skip

once you set out what you want to do, I think you'll step back a little, smell the flowers a bit more and then...I think you'll realise like I did, not only that that you're happy...but you deserve to be

I hope so anyway

D
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:35 PM
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I think if these feelings are really bothering you see a Doctor and be honest.

I've got to say, I'm on day 46 and I still don't get the thing about feeling so great in the morning, I don't, but I'll still avoid drink...

Like others have said, sobriety is still the best path.
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Old 04-13-2012, 02:35 PM
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LOL skip! That little screaming guy is so cute!! He is EXACTLY where I am today (and most days). You are not alone..I am here for ya anytime you need to vent. I am only on day 13.....I have more bad days than good days ugh! But when I was drinking every day was a bad day! Hang onto those slight moments of "this isn't so bad" and let's hope one day we wake up with that outlook all day long
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Old 04-13-2012, 03:16 PM
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ya gettin a little exercise Skip? even taking a little walk helps me sometimes.
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Old 04-13-2012, 03:18 PM
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Digging into the first step and understanding a little more of what you've been fighting not to recognize means you're digesting some seriously bad news. You'd need to be nuts to be happy about things like that.

Down the road you'll be grateful you didn't remain ignorant, but that's for later on.
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Old 04-13-2012, 03:22 PM
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Hi Skip. During early sobriety I was allllll over the place. I felt depressed, anxious, tired... it took awhile but now I feel so much more balanced and happy. Just stay sober and keep working your program and I think it will happen for you too!! All the best.
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Old 04-13-2012, 03:39 PM
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Step one was easy for me, there was no question in my mind.

One step of only twelve, they all have their challenges.

Remember that we deal with whatever it was we are dealing with, and it is cunning, baffling and powerful. It can and will use those feelings of unhappiness to get you back in that saddle again.

It does get better, the promises can and do come true.

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”

Page 83-84 Alcoholics Anonymous~
You are probably right where you need to be.

I'm praying for you, and I know you can find the happiness.
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Old 04-13-2012, 04:15 PM
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You should have seen me during my first year :-). It was just awwwwwul. Good we don't have to go through this twice. This too shall pass.
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Old 04-13-2012, 04:26 PM
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Hi all, I am new to the forum, and was going to basically post the exact same thing as skip...I am 19 days sober from alcohol and prescription meds. I had a couple of really good days this week, but yesterday and today were just depressing and awful...I feel like I am going backwards and not forward. Glad to be on this forum. Glad I am not alone with the depression. (Though I wouldn't wish it on my enemy)
My boyfriend got clean over a year ago, and he didn't have the depression I am having...
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