Mammyof3boys

Yes had a few drinks last night. It's like my mind kept saying have 1 you deserve it. I promised myself I'd be ok today with it. That I'd have no guilt. Nope major guilt with practically no hangover.
How do I move forward? Friday, April 13 another day 1 ....

Sapling

What have you tried and not tried to stop for good Mammy? We'll get rid of the one's you've tried...And try the one's you haven't...How does that sound?

GirlFromCO

The answer to your question is simple. Alcoholism is progressive. It's never going to get better on it's own - the more you feed your addiction the harder it becomes to break the chains. That's why right now today is always the best time to quit.

Anna

I agree that it gets harder to stop each time you drink.

What can you do differently this time so that you can get beyond 5 days?

Mammyof3boys

It's gets harder. Really? Oh gosh that's frightening to me. I know the last time I spent ALOT of time on these boards. And I started reading again. I had a full medical done and my health is good. Now I'm almost telling myself well you are young and healthy. Go for it. I just don't know. It's a constant fight in my brain.

GirlFromCO

Unfortunately, that was exactly my experience.

I'd always think "I'll just do this later" lol because yeah, my future self REALLY LOVES dealing with all the crap I won't do right now. Do your future self a favor and get it over with now so you can get to the good stuff

Dee74

It definitely gets harder to stop - but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

Think about what you can do, all the options open to you for help and support...think about what you're prepared to do...and do it mammy...I know you can

D

wiseone

The old timers use to say that if you tried drinking again you would find that AA had messed up your drinking. I think you may be realizing that today. Do you have a sponsor? I don't think I saw any mention of calling anyone before you drank. The First Step has to be absolute and I would suggest praying for the strengh to not drink today. When I was new, if I couldn't get anyone on the phone, I repeated the Serenty Prayer over and over and over until I calmed down.

Sapling

It makes a real hard if that's the way you look at it Mammy...I'd hate to see you take the beating I did and lose the things I had to lose before you think it's a good time to stop.

candie

Can you do a pros and cons list of addiction v sobriety, as a reminder of why you want to give up?

Mammyof3boys

I'm at work and will do that list later tonight. Feel so down. Ugh....

desertsong

Mammy, today would be a good day to do Step 1 again and work it thoroughly. Write down everything you can remember from your last drunk, and write down the ways you are powerless over alcohol. You've worked it before, right? Give it another go. The second time I worked Step 1, a lot of stuff came out that I hadn't been aware of before, and I think those were the things that had driven me to keep relapsing. Could be the eye-opener you need to get back on track.

foodie1

Hugs and support Mammy, do you have someone you talk with? A sponsor or a therapist, or fellow alcoholic?