White-Knucklin' It
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White-Knucklin' It
What does that term mean exactly? I have read in previous threads and in some books that if you're "white-knucklin'" it that you aren't actually 'ready' to quit...
This is confusing. What does it even mean?
This is confusing. What does it even mean?
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Originally Posted by bayliss 
What does that term mean exactly? I have read in previous threads and in some books that if you're "white-knucklin'" it that you aren't actually 'ready' to quit...
This is confusing. What does it even mean?
This is confusing. What does it even mean?
The root meaning is holding on to something so tight with your hands that your knuckles turn white. It is "Slang" for holding on for dear life..... Can apply to many anxious situations.... like right before you jump of bridge in to the water you don't want to let go....or right before you decide to quit you hold on tight.
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Thanks guys.
My recovery - well, it isn't going the greatest. I was doing well...and landed back at square one.
I feel like I can't beat this demon for whatever reason...I guess that is a topic for another thread.
My recovery - well, it isn't going the greatest. I was doing well...and landed back at square one.
I feel like I can't beat this demon for whatever reason...I guess that is a topic for another thread.
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In my estimation, white-knuckling it is basically being a dry drunk. And I see people like this at AA meetings ALL THE TIME.
They don't drink because they know they "can't".
I've never subscribed to that theory. That to me, is a person's pride keeping them dry. And let me tell you, when you're in that boat, you're not sober by any means. You're just dry.
"Restless, irritable, and discontent."
See it ALL THE TIME.
Whenever I've gotten that bad, I just drank. Why be miserable? At least you'll get some degree of satisfaction from the booze.
In my experience, the key is not to get to that point. Trust me when I say, being a dry alcoholic is not a fun place to be.
This is what I think people mean when you're "white knuckling it".
You're forcing yourself to stay sober, when you really don't want to be sober.
They don't drink because they know they "can't".
I've never subscribed to that theory. That to me, is a person's pride keeping them dry. And let me tell you, when you're in that boat, you're not sober by any means. You're just dry.
"Restless, irritable, and discontent."
See it ALL THE TIME.
Whenever I've gotten that bad, I just drank. Why be miserable? At least you'll get some degree of satisfaction from the booze.
In my experience, the key is not to get to that point. Trust me when I say, being a dry alcoholic is not a fun place to be.
This is what I think people mean when you're "white knuckling it".
You're forcing yourself to stay sober, when you really don't want to be sober.
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Originally Posted by bayliss
Thanks guys.
My recovery - well, it isn't going the greatest. I was doing well...and landed back at square one.
I feel like I can't beat this demon for whatever reason...I guess that is a topic for another thread.
My recovery - well, it isn't going the greatest. I was doing well...and landed back at square one.
I feel like I can't beat this demon for whatever reason...I guess that is a topic for another thread.
Having people help you out can be extremely beneficial. You don't have to do this on your own.
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Thanks Squizz.
I really want to quit...but I don't...if that makes sense...I know in my heart that I don't want this anymore...I don't want to battle this crap and I wish I never got into it in the first place...it is ruining my life...and others in the process as well.
But I don't want to be that person - that "dry drunk"...I know I will be miserable...at least for the first little while.
I guess my question is how do you know you are a dry drunk or not...a lot of people deal with anxiety and whatnot...and they feel like they "need" to have it.
I am just torn. Totally lost.
Thank you for your encouraging words though. I did disappear from here a few times...I have been here so often.
I just hope that one day it is to say I am one week sober...then a month...then a few months...then a year.
I am willing to do anything...not AA though...I have tried to get in touch with my addictions counsellor but she is totally ignoring my messages. Tried to make an appointment with another one...but it turns out it can take a few months to see anyone else.
Back to the drawing board.
I really want to quit...but I don't...if that makes sense...I know in my heart that I don't want this anymore...I don't want to battle this crap and I wish I never got into it in the first place...it is ruining my life...and others in the process as well.
But I don't want to be that person - that "dry drunk"...I know I will be miserable...at least for the first little while.
I guess my question is how do you know you are a dry drunk or not...a lot of people deal with anxiety and whatnot...and they feel like they "need" to have it.
I am just torn. Totally lost.
Thank you for your encouraging words though. I did disappear from here a few times...I have been here so often.
I just hope that one day it is to say I am one week sober...then a month...then a few months...then a year.
I am willing to do anything...not AA though...I have tried to get in touch with my addictions counsellor but she is totally ignoring my messages. Tried to make an appointment with another one...but it turns out it can take a few months to see anyone else.
Back to the drawing board.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by bayliss
Thanks Squizz.
I really want to quit...but I don't...if that makes sense...
Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Why not just quit for today? I hate using the word "quit". How about stopping for today?
I know in my heart that I don't want this anymore...I don't want to battle this crap and I wish I never got into it in the first place...it is ruining my life...and others in the process as well.
But I don't want to be that person - that "dry drunk"...I know I will be miserable...at least for the first little while.
You will be miserable if you ALLOW yourself to be miserable. Sobriety isn't suppose to take your life away, it is suppose to give you your life back. Trust me when I say, you will know if you're a dry drunk. It's very simple for me, I know I'm "dry" when I constantly feel discontent. It usually goes something like this: "I've been sober for 2 months, and nothing is getting better, so I might as well drink." Now THAT is quitting. To quit, is to give up on yourself. Abstaining from alcohol and drugs is a start. A start of the you that you were always capable of being.
I guess my question is how do you know you are a dry drunk or not...a lot of people deal with anxiety and whatnot...and they feel like they "need" to have it.
I am just torn. Totally lost.
Oh, you'll know. Usually in sobriety, I've found that I have about two or three bad days, followed by two or three good days. That being said, if you're miserable for weeks upon weeks, you're probably dry. You'll just constantly be angry and irritable. Being a "dry drunk" usually comes when you are no longer finding sobriety worth-while.
Thank you for your encouraging words though. I did disappear from here a few times...I have been here so often.
I just hope that one day it is to say I am one week sober...then a month...then a few months...then a year.
It will happen. As long as you don't give up.
I am willing to do anything...not AA though.
I was in the same boat. Until I got desperate enough.
..I have tried to get in touch with my addictions counsellor but she is totally ignoring my messages. Tried to make an appointment with another one...but it turns out it can take a few months to see anyone else.
Back to the drawing board.
I don't believe in therapists and the likes. Nobody will better understand your situation better than somebody who has been there. There is a time and a place for psychologists, etc. but I feel getting in contact with other addicts/alcoholics will help you much more in the long haul.
I really want to quit...but I don't...if that makes sense...
Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Why not just quit for today? I hate using the word "quit". How about stopping for today?
I know in my heart that I don't want this anymore...I don't want to battle this crap and I wish I never got into it in the first place...it is ruining my life...and others in the process as well.
But I don't want to be that person - that "dry drunk"...I know I will be miserable...at least for the first little while.
You will be miserable if you ALLOW yourself to be miserable. Sobriety isn't suppose to take your life away, it is suppose to give you your life back. Trust me when I say, you will know if you're a dry drunk. It's very simple for me, I know I'm "dry" when I constantly feel discontent. It usually goes something like this: "I've been sober for 2 months, and nothing is getting better, so I might as well drink." Now THAT is quitting. To quit, is to give up on yourself. Abstaining from alcohol and drugs is a start. A start of the you that you were always capable of being.
I guess my question is how do you know you are a dry drunk or not...a lot of people deal with anxiety and whatnot...and they feel like they "need" to have it.
I am just torn. Totally lost.
Oh, you'll know. Usually in sobriety, I've found that I have about two or three bad days, followed by two or three good days. That being said, if you're miserable for weeks upon weeks, you're probably dry. You'll just constantly be angry and irritable. Being a "dry drunk" usually comes when you are no longer finding sobriety worth-while.
Thank you for your encouraging words though. I did disappear from here a few times...I have been here so often.
I just hope that one day it is to say I am one week sober...then a month...then a few months...then a year.
It will happen. As long as you don't give up.
I am willing to do anything...not AA though.
I was in the same boat. Until I got desperate enough.
..I have tried to get in touch with my addictions counsellor but she is totally ignoring my messages. Tried to make an appointment with another one...but it turns out it can take a few months to see anyone else.
Back to the drawing board.
I don't believe in therapists and the likes. Nobody will better understand your situation better than somebody who has been there. There is a time and a place for psychologists, etc. but I feel getting in contact with other addicts/alcoholics will help you much more in the long haul.
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