Do those in recovery just drop all of their old friends?
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 159
Do those in recovery just drop all of their old friends?
I have a random question...my ex husband (who is now in active recovery) is living in sober housing and says he is working his program. I think a lot of you know the history with us...DOC was cocaine. We have a 3 year old child.
My question is this....one of his best friends (who he has known since high school) and who was in our wedding, has experienced my ex blowing him off (cancelling) for lunch or coffee AT LEAST 10-12 times in the last year. Granted, a lot of those cancellations were when he was relapsing and actively using.
My ex's friend (I will call him "Fred") said my ex recently cancelled a lunch on him because he "had a job interview". This was the same day my ex couldn't come to the dr. when we thought our daughter might have needed emergency surgery (she ended up being fine - bad flu).
So - question - is it typical for someone in recovery to completely wipe out their old friends and hang with those they are in recovery with? I do know that this friend is one where my ex had drank with (not sure about cocaine), but...this friend also knew him back in high school as well as the first 3 times ex was in rehab, so "Fred" basically calls ex on his "s&*&%".
Just curious....seems so sad when I know it really bums "Fred" out.
My question is this....one of his best friends (who he has known since high school) and who was in our wedding, has experienced my ex blowing him off (cancelling) for lunch or coffee AT LEAST 10-12 times in the last year. Granted, a lot of those cancellations were when he was relapsing and actively using.
My ex's friend (I will call him "Fred") said my ex recently cancelled a lunch on him because he "had a job interview". This was the same day my ex couldn't come to the dr. when we thought our daughter might have needed emergency surgery (she ended up being fine - bad flu).
So - question - is it typical for someone in recovery to completely wipe out their old friends and hang with those they are in recovery with? I do know that this friend is one where my ex had drank with (not sure about cocaine), but...this friend also knew him back in high school as well as the first 3 times ex was in rehab, so "Fred" basically calls ex on his "s&*&%".
Just curious....seems so sad when I know it really bums "Fred" out.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 159
Cynical - I always love your posts. Thank you. Man, I am an overthinker! 
I do need a girlfriend lunch but this weekend I am taking my daughter out of town to see my parents in their brand new house - should be a fun time.
I do need a girlfriend lunch but this weekend I am taking my daughter out of town to see my parents in their brand new house - should be a fun time.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 598
Be glad he is making new friends and not seeing old friends. My son moved out of state so he doesn't see his old friends any longer, but he still talks to them. He gets very frustrated with some of the old friends because they are still caught up in addiction. Personally, I think until his friends are willing to be and are actually on the road to recovery he's setting himself up to at the very least be depressed. IMO I think it's a good thing your boyfriend is making changes regarding who he associates with--it's a tangible action, nor merely words.
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