dailyforme

The way most of us here look at casual drinkers and envy them... I was that way for SO long. I was never one to watch daytime soaps, but while clicking passed them it seemed that a stiff drink made everything better and I envied having an easy out like that! I made it through HS, undergrad days in college in a sorority with many keg parties, and to Grad school. I never relied on drinking at all. At best, while at a very prestigious school getting my Masters in Nursing, I would have "a" glass of wine in the tub to mellow me out to sleep well.... Fast forward to now.... SAHM to two, husband well respected at what he does, he could drink or not and care less, I have somehow become a closet drinker because I no longer feel relevant. Part of it is due to the fact that I was the OW in my husband's life years ago. He was married for 7 years before me, now we have been married 14 years and have 2 beautiful girls. BUT.. I will always be the Other Woman.... His ex is a B. She really is . But I stiil feel bad and always will. Sorry for rambling!

eJoshua

Welcome to SR!

Now that I'm in recovery and feeling good about my program I don't envy casual drinkers, or anyone else for that matter. I'm pretty happy with my life and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, except perhaps a world of heartache.

Getting sober would probably be the best way to get started on resolving your negative feelings about yourself and get yourself set on the road to living a life full of meaning and happiness.

sissy07

Hi there,

Welcome to SR! You know, all of us feel badly about some things in the past.....but it is the past. We cannot change it, and ruminating over it and punishing ourselves will do no good. I have done the punishment thing, so I know what you mean.

Why don't you give yourself and your family a break and quit drinking? Live in the present, with an eye on the future. It sounds like you have a great life....you deserve to enjoy it and you deserve to be happy. And your kids need you to be 100%. The drinking will just get worse, and hiding it probably makes you feel guilty (at least it did me), and it is so complicated! Please stop drinking. Take care.

Dee74

Hi dailyforme

sounds like you have some underlying issues like a lot of us have, or did.

Drinking was my attempt to deal with those too - but it became a problem on it's own.

I think, like Josh said, if you focus on recovery and not drinking for now, you'll soon find you'll be in a far better position to look at those other long held ideas about who you are

You'll find a lot of support here - welcome!

D

Anna

Welcome!

I had a lot of underlying issues to deal with too when I stopped drinking.

You will find lots of support here.

Hevyn

Welcome dailyforme! So glad you've joined us. For me, just saying things like that out loud helped so much. When I first came here I had no one to talk to about my problem - no one knew how bad I was. Not feeling alone anymore relieves some of the anxiety we feel.

Guilt and remorse will hold you down & keep you from moving forward. I hope you can begin to focus on the life you have in front of you. Keep posting & reading - we care.

FlyerFan

Welcome.