yellieee

I just want to sincerely thank everyone in this forum. I am usually in the substance abuse forum and the newcomers to recovery forum but recently I have been reading around on here. You have all opened up my eyes. I never realized that I have absolutely no boundaries and that I take on other peoples problems and try to fix everything for them with no regard for myself. My boyfriend has a hard family life and I have spent the last year telling him what he should do, trying to protect him from them, and trying to make his life as perfect as possible. In the process I have no only run myself into the ground but my stress and anxiety has gone through the roof. For example, he got a ticket the other day and upon hearing it immediately I thought great here is another problem WE have another fine WE have to pay another thing for US to worry about. After reading around on here I realized HE has a fine HE needs to pay for it and HE needs to deal with it.

I want to thank everyone for making me realize I need to make some boundaries between my boyfriend and myself. I am going to reassess my relationship and realize that I am not his mother I am his girlfriend. I need to realize I can't make him do things and I can't fix all his problems. I know changing my behaviors and thought process when different situations arise will not be easy, but I can already feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders.

As a newly recovered addict who is graduating college in a month and going to attend law school in the fall I have enough on my own plate. I finally realize I need to put myself first and I need to have boundaries.

Thank you all again for giving me the information I needed to have a major wake up call.

~ Yellieee

wicked

And that is detachment in action! Wow, thanks for posting this yelliee.

Yes, your plate is full, and the best thing is, it is full of your life, not HIS.
How exciting for you.

:ghug3

Beth

mattmathews

My wife grew up in the sixties as the daughter of a woman who was addicted to Valium. She lived with lots of drama and family conflict, she virtually raised her siblings, and (in my opinion) she's got lots of issues with being a codependent. And to top it all off, she became an alcoholic.
She's recovering from the alcoholism, and that's a wonderful thing. But she's got a long way to go before she tackles some of her other issues. (And in the meantime, I've got issues of my own that I'm working on! )
The great thing about spiritual growth is that we never have to stop growing. Good luck to you on your path.

itsmylifenow

It is so great to hear that someone has had a breakthrough from input found on forums like these.

Although I feel I understand my own situation, it has been great to realize I was dealing with a man who had an illness and that as much as I truly wanted to help him fix his life, ultimately it was up to him to do it.

You have had a fantastic eye opening moment! Congrats and good luck in law school!

yellieee

It is so nice to realize that working on myself isn't being selfish, it is necessary. Self growth is such an important thing and I am finally putting it to the top of my to do list.

TakingCharge999