Lefty1

Today I realized what a mess ive created. It's not even 7am and I'm already buzzed, like has become the norm in the last few months. My performance at work (where I am going at 8) has fell off. I've went from being the company golden boy to being an average sales producer.

I'm 25, single, and successful. I always thought it was because of my drinking. I told myself that drinking made me a funny, personable guy. For whatever reason, this morning it all came to me. I'm successful despite my drinking. I've harmed many relationships. I'm spending more and more money on alcohol.... Upwards of 1500 a month by my calculation today. I just bought a brand new car, while drunk.. I hadnt even conciously thought about buying a car while sober. I woke up one morning, got drunk, drove to the car lot and 2 hours later drove a 40,000 car home (while still drunk I might add)..

My drinking started when I was 15, and I've been an alcoholic since I was 18. I titled my ramblings here as day 0 because an hour ago I started my morning off the way I have for awhile now, with 4 shots of vodka mixed with a 16 oz bottle of Lipton iced tea. If all goes according to plan I will not drink again today. If I am unable to stay strong, I will have 5 more mixtures like the one I just had. Then I will get off work. Then I will down a bottle of margaritas or a 750 of Bacardi and go to bed...

Wish me luck...

MightyMung

Why prolong the misery by drinking more today?

I wish you all the luck in the world, but it'd be best for you to throw all of your alcohol out now and start afresh. It may seem daunting, but we've all been there, and from experience - you'll thank yourself tomorrow when you can go into work clear headed.

Lefty1

I dumped out my vodka stash. I poured myself one last drink, and now hopefully I'm done.... I have no more alcohol in the house, and no plans for my next drink....first time in a long time...

MightyMung

That's a great start.

Let me tell you, that tomorrow, even if you have w/d's, you'll feel much better for three reasons:

- You'll know what you've done and said, so won't be terrified that you've lost friends/damaged your reputation

- You won't have a hangover

- You'll feel proud of yourself

Pouring one last drink rings alarm bells for me, it seems like you aren't ready to quit. But again, let me just say there's NEVER a 'right' time to quit, you'll always find an excuse, so the BEST time is always now, especially if you feel you want to change.

Congrats on taking a definitive step, and I wish you all the best - trust me, life can be much better without alcohol.

coming_clean

zero is not nothing.

nothing does not exist.

MsJax

Welcome Lefty. I drank like that too. Only I'm a lot older. I wish I had woke up at 25. What is your plan for getting and staying sober?

Lefty1

Well I'm just hoping to take it hour by hour.... I want to do in private. No one in my life has any idea, as far as I know. I want to keep it that way. I think this forum will be a huge help. I just hope I can make it... I don't fail.. Failing at this would kill me.

Bonnie1

Lefty, I had my last drink last night. All the dregs have been poured down the sink this morning. It was like a relief.
Now I'm starting to feel better and brighter after a horrible morning. I really don't want to experience that horrible, sicky, headachey, bloated feeling ever again.
I'm as a person deserves better than that.
I want to live a clean, healthy, nice, calm life.
Not wondering if I have enough money to buy enough booze to get me p....d and not pay the mortgage.
Hang in there, life can only get better!

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

I strongly suggest a doctor evaluation for possible withdrawal.

Luckyv2

Welcome to all of you who are new. Welcome and keep on keeping on.

Recovery is Doable

Dee74

Welcome to SR Lefty

You'll find a lot of support here - SR certainly helped me turn my life around - hope we can do the same for you too

D

seanie1888

That's the spirit Lefty, don't let it beat u

hypochondriac

Welcome Lefty1,

Sounds like you're on the right track and it's great you've got here at a young age too. I'm 30 and believe me, a lot of damage can happen in 5 years. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. SR is a fantastic place for support but I think most people here get support elsewhere too, AA or at least a few self help books. If you tell no one else it may be worth telling your doctor just in case you need help with withdrawals.

Glad you're here x

bskeys1404

That's about how I was at 25 and where it was just beginning. 4 DUI's , 18 arrest and 17 laters I finally took that last drink. Alcoholics will always find a reason for one more drink for one more time for one more day. You better get a plan of action in place and really get ready cause this ain't no easy win. And everytime I think of people who don't think they're alcoholics or are just starting to realize it reminds me of this show Jail that comes on. This guy came in for a hit and run all dressed up in an expensive business suit and said he was just a little buzzed and didn't know why he ran. By the end of the show he founf out that the person he hit was dead and instead of a bond and a court appearance he's now looking at a court appearance and prison time. Wonder if he thought that was his last time? Cause it will be now for awhile. Don't kid yourself into thinking your bigger and badder than this thing cause it has no problem with showing you a good ole a$$ kicking can be. I hope you get a hold of this thing. I just don't sugar coat things anymore cause when it's made not to seem so bad people find even MORE reasons to have just one more. I wish you well and God Bless you!

IndaMiricale

You really can have a life worth each day. I drank like that easily for 20 years. Even after being in the ICU because of it i went out to the bar when I was released. But no longer you can do it.

And please to a safe detox talk to a doctor, it is no fun for a heavy drinker.

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome, Lefty. How are you doin'? Be careful detoxing. If you need to go to a hospital then go. Detoxing can be dangerous, even fatal. Also, get to some AA meetings, even if you have the shakes. Call your local office if you have to and see if you can get a ride or call a cab. Start hitting those meetings ASAP. Lots of help and support there as well. Today is as good a day as any to quit.

RyanRyan

Welcome... Glad you are here! I can't remember Easter because I got so freaking hammered. I forgot to to the egg hunt with my kids so after they reminded me we did the egg hunt at night in the dark while I stumbled around the yard spilling my glass of wine all over myself and the ground...I felt like such a loser. I slept with my face plastered to the cold ass hard wood floor sunday night. I missed work monday and blamed it on my kid being sick. I knew I had hit one of several bottoms and i was determined this would be my last...monday morning I found this place, I then drank all the remaining beer in my fridge and whined like a baby the whole night that it was gone ...I'm now on day two being sober...you CAN do this!