Another Day One
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Republic of Ireland
Posts: 93
Another Day One
Today is another Day One for me. Really hit the wine last night and this morning I feel terrible. Never want to feel this bad again. I've poured what was left down the sink, and looking in the mirror never want to look like this EVER again.
No money to buy the stuff, no petrol in the car to go anywhere, so this is the end for me. A great big goodbye to the rotten addiction called alchohol.
I really hate the stuff and what its done to ME.
I just want it out of my life once and for all.
No money to buy the stuff, no petrol in the car to go anywhere, so this is the end for me. A great big goodbye to the rotten addiction called alchohol.
I really hate the stuff and what its done to ME.
I just want it out of my life once and for all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne
Posts: 122
Hi B and DB, I'm in the very early stages of sobriety - again! This must be my 10th shot at it, but something feels different this time; I went to an AA meeting on Saturday, then again on Sunday. The prospect of returning to another meeting this Saturday has kept me strong this week so far. I don't believe in God and I did not believe in AA. 2 meetings in though and something feels different.
Best of luck xx
Best of luck xx
I hope you make a plan for yourself and work hard at the changes needed in your life to be sober. It takes work but God is it ever worth it!
Memberado
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
I'm starting to have doubts as to whether or not I can do this long term. Sobriety that is.
I can't stand my life on several different levels: financially, relationship wise (with my family), living situation wise...
I was sober for a good 3,5 months right before x-mas last year. Now I find myself caving in to red wine when I am out and about. And it then turns into 3-4 day long wine drinking sprees. Can't stop once I've started, we all know how it goes...
I used to be such a determined and disciplined person. Not anymore. I don't care enough. My life sucks on so many levels so I honestly don't care. Terrible.
I can't stand my life on several different levels: financially, relationship wise (with my family), living situation wise...
I was sober for a good 3,5 months right before x-mas last year. Now I find myself caving in to red wine when I am out and about. And it then turns into 3-4 day long wine drinking sprees. Can't stop once I've started, we all know how it goes...
I used to be such a determined and disciplined person. Not anymore. I don't care enough. My life sucks on so many levels so I honestly don't care. Terrible.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 122
Hi. You do care, thats why you are on here. Hope is a little bird that sings in your soul, without words but never giving up. I feel the same as you, I used to be determined and disciplined but I know I can be again. I have let things slide down as you have. How were the three and half months? What made you slip? anything apart from Christmas. Day one is the worst, hope you can get through it. Stay on here and talk, and listen. Thats all I can do. Meetings are far and wide for me, this is my meeting room. Everything sucks now but it doesn't have to from now on. Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Republic of Ireland
Posts: 93
DB, I'm hanging on by the skin of my teeth at the minute.
All sorts of things are going on in my head. The cravings are starting to kick in big time as usually I start drinking around 4pm ish.
I'm not giving in though. My hubby is going to cook the dinner, I'm off for a walk and then early to bed.
I AM going to wake up clearheaded in the morning!
Just hang in there, please don't give up.
Also if your finances are low, just think about all the money you'll save by not drinking!
It's a win win situation. Just get through the first couple of days and the pair of us will be fine.
All sorts of things are going on in my head. The cravings are starting to kick in big time as usually I start drinking around 4pm ish.
I'm not giving in though. My hubby is going to cook the dinner, I'm off for a walk and then early to bed.
I AM going to wake up clearheaded in the morning!
Just hang in there, please don't give up.
Also if your finances are low, just think about all the money you'll save by not drinking!
It's a win win situation. Just get through the first couple of days and the pair of us will be fine.
Memberado
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Hi Bonnie!
Yeah, we're in this together!
Good point about the money I will save! I haven't been paying for my own drinks recently, I think that has contributed...
Yeah, we're in this together!
Good point about the money I will save! I haven't been paying for my own drinks recently, I think that has contributed...
Originally Posted by Bonnie1 
DB, I'm hanging on by the skin of my teeth at the minute.
All sorts of things are going on in my head. The cravings are starting to kick in big time as usually I start drinking around 4pm ish.
I'm not giving in though. My hubby is going to cook the dinner, I'm off for a walk and then early to bed.
I AM going to wake up clearheaded in the morning!
Just hang in there, please don't give up.
Also if your finances are low, just think about all the money you'll save by not drinking!
It's a win win situation. Just get through the first couple of days and the pair of us will be fine.
All sorts of things are going on in my head. The cravings are starting to kick in big time as usually I start drinking around 4pm ish.
I'm not giving in though. My hubby is going to cook the dinner, I'm off for a walk and then early to bed.
I AM going to wake up clearheaded in the morning!
Just hang in there, please don't give up.
Also if your finances are low, just think about all the money you'll save by not drinking!
It's a win win situation. Just get through the first couple of days and the pair of us will be fine.
Memberado
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Hi Rachel!
Thanks for the lovely quote about hope being a bird that sings in my heart. You are of course right.
What made me slip after three and a half months? My living situation has been very emotionally difficult to handle for the past 6 months. Had to move back in with my parents. I am gay and they don't aceept it yada yada. After that period of three and a half months I was invited to a party and at the same moment in time I was beginning to feel more and more hopeless. Thinking I will never get out of this living arrangement and never making enough money to move back to where I want to live... so I caved in and just hoped there would be no next morning to face. Obviously there was.
Thanks for the lovely quote about hope being a bird that sings in my heart. You are of course right.
What made me slip after three and a half months? My living situation has been very emotionally difficult to handle for the past 6 months. Had to move back in with my parents. I am gay and they don't aceept it yada yada. After that period of three and a half months I was invited to a party and at the same moment in time I was beginning to feel more and more hopeless. Thinking I will never get out of this living arrangement and never making enough money to move back to where I want to live... so I caved in and just hoped there would be no next morning to face. Obviously there was.
Originally Posted by RachelNorth
Hi. You do care, thats why you are on here. Hope is a little bird that sings in your soul, without words but never giving up. I feel the same as you, I used to be determined and disciplined but I know I can be again. I have let things slide down as you have. How were the three and half months? What made you slip? anything apart from Christmas. Day one is the worst, hope you can get through it. Stay on here and talk, and listen. Thats all I can do. Meetings are far and wide for me, this is my meeting room. Everything sucks now but it doesn't have to from now on. Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Republic of Ireland
Posts: 93
Same here, another Day One just about over. Not a drop of alchohol is in the house and have'nt drunk any.
Feels like a good feeling. No hangover in the morning, whaaaaaay
Going shopping tomorrow but hubby is out and about with me, so not dreading that chore as much. I'll just not go down THAT aisle.
Here's looking to Day Two
Hang in there DB, you'll be fine!
Feels like a good feeling. No hangover in the morning, whaaaaaay
Going shopping tomorrow but hubby is out and about with me, so not dreading that chore as much. I'll just not go down THAT aisle.
Here's looking to Day Two
Hang in there DB, you'll be fine!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
Welcome back Bonnie and DB
I used to tell myself I could ever be sober long term too - 'if you had my life...' - but that was nonsense really. It was fear talking - as much as I hated my drinking life, I knew it, it was familiar to me....sobriety was a great howling unknown...
Stick with it tho - it is hard work, but it's worth it - staying in recovery gave me a lot of gifts but none more important than, finally, being happy and,finally, being comfortable with who I am.
Like you say Bonnie, it's win win
D
I used to tell myself I could ever be sober long term too - 'if you had my life...' - but that was nonsense really. It was fear talking - as much as I hated my drinking life, I knew it, it was familiar to me....sobriety was a great howling unknown...
Stick with it tho - it is hard work, but it's worth it - staying in recovery gave me a lot of gifts but none more important than, finally, being happy and,finally, being comfortable with who I am.
Like you say Bonnie, it's win win
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Republic of Ireland
Posts: 93
Agree with you Dee. When I'm off the drink, which I was for 2 weeks earlier in the year, I am a different person. Happy to be me. I do so much more becouse I'm not weighed down with the drink.
I start the crafts again, (which I love), quite content with a bit of stitching, patchwork etc. Those things go to the wall when I pick up the glass.
Even shopping is more calm and content, as you're not constantly trying to avoid the shelf filler who keeps putting the bottles on the shelves and I keep putting them in my trolley.
Then you're back next day doing the same.
Sheer madness.
Also the money. Trying to eat and cook as cheaply as possible, but spending a fortune on booze.
Absolute stupidity!
I start the crafts again, (which I love), quite content with a bit of stitching, patchwork etc. Those things go to the wall when I pick up the glass.
Even shopping is more calm and content, as you're not constantly trying to avoid the shelf filler who keeps putting the bottles on the shelves and I keep putting them in my trolley.
Then you're back next day doing the same.
Sheer madness.
Also the money. Trying to eat and cook as cheaply as possible, but spending a fortune on booze.
Absolute stupidity!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Republic of Ireland
Posts: 93
Hi Bob. I really don't know yet.
I want to get the first few days over with in my own way and then take it from there.
I have a real good feeling about this time around, but I know AA is there if and when I need it.
Also the SR forum, which is absolutely brilliant.
I want to get the first few days over with in my own way and then take it from there.
I have a real good feeling about this time around, but I know AA is there if and when I need it.
Also the SR forum, which is absolutely brilliant.
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