2 years sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
2 years sober
Hi everyone,
I reached 2 years sober on 4/4/12.
Some may say that this means I am not considered a "newcomer" to recovery, however I would disagree. This recovery journey means I learn something about myself every single day. Sometimes it is something I don't like about myself and these are the things I work on. Therefore, I think that keeps recovery new, exciting and a very positive way of living.
I don't generally hang out in the forums, as I prefer the chat room, however I just wanted to share a bit of my journey with you and give you hope that not only is recovery possible, it is wonderful. I protect it with every ounce of my being, and never take it for granted. Having said that, I have not done this through willpower or a white knuckle ride. I needed to not only want sobriety, but also in order to have any sort of control over my life I had to accept that I was/am an alcoholic and learn a new way of living.
It took me a long time before I felt the shame of that label lift. It was hard for me to accept that I had a weakness. I am surrounded by a culture that tells me that if I don't drink I get comments like "what's wrong with ya?" or "come one, don't be weak...just have one" and my favourite "What, you mean you are NEVER going to drink AGAIN"???
I find most people don't understand, or are in some kind of denial themselves but that's their problem 
Back to new way of living: I have accepted that not only does alcohol not alleviate stress, it compounds it. I drank because my life was so awful... right?... NO it wasn't. My drinking was so awful. My drinking was making my life spiral out of control because of the stupid decisions I made while under influence. Decisions and comments made that I still cringe about. Comments made that I would wake up in the morning and see via Facebook or on my mobile, or sometimes lengthy emails.... oh dear!
I was lucky, it could have been a lot worse but I made the decision that I was not going to wait for the "yets". I had not been picked up for DUI, (yet) I had not gotten into any real danger from the strangers I met in bars (yet) I had not killed anyone in a drink driving accident (yet)... the list goes on.. you get the picture.
Sure, I have had awful things happen to me in my life. Things that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, but they happened. Drinking wont change that, it didn't make the feelings go away. It just meant at the end of the night I would end up a pathetic crying mess. I drank because I had anxiety?.... no I didn't, I drank because I am an alcoholic and I used that and a million other excuses to drink. I have them... millions of them but until I accepted the truth, I could not move forward with my life.
I have learnt that I am a strong woman. I am not my past. I am who I am at this moment of time. Recovery continues to teach me that living in the moment is not only necessary but a very powerful way of living. So, I take this ride on the journey they call life, one day at a time. People say "wow, two years... but it really is just one day at a time, the days just add up. My life is not zooming by anymore. Where will I be this time next year? Who knows and isn't that the most exciting part about living?...... sober
Thank you my SR family :ghug3
I reached 2 years sober on 4/4/12.
Some may say that this means I am not considered a "newcomer" to recovery, however I would disagree. This recovery journey means I learn something about myself every single day. Sometimes it is something I don't like about myself and these are the things I work on. Therefore, I think that keeps recovery new, exciting and a very positive way of living.
I don't generally hang out in the forums, as I prefer the chat room, however I just wanted to share a bit of my journey with you and give you hope that not only is recovery possible, it is wonderful. I protect it with every ounce of my being, and never take it for granted. Having said that, I have not done this through willpower or a white knuckle ride. I needed to not only want sobriety, but also in order to have any sort of control over my life I had to accept that I was/am an alcoholic and learn a new way of living.
It took me a long time before I felt the shame of that label lift. It was hard for me to accept that I had a weakness. I am surrounded by a culture that tells me that if I don't drink I get comments like "what's wrong with ya?" or "come one, don't be weak...just have one" and my favourite "What, you mean you are NEVER going to drink AGAIN"???
I find most people don't understand, or are in some kind of denial themselves but that's their problem Back to new way of living: I have accepted that not only does alcohol not alleviate stress, it compounds it. I drank because my life was so awful... right?... NO it wasn't. My drinking was so awful. My drinking was making my life spiral out of control because of the stupid decisions I made while under influence. Decisions and comments made that I still cringe about. Comments made that I would wake up in the morning and see via Facebook or on my mobile, or sometimes lengthy emails.... oh dear!
I was lucky, it could have been a lot worse but I made the decision that I was not going to wait for the "yets". I had not been picked up for DUI, (yet) I had not gotten into any real danger from the strangers I met in bars (yet) I had not killed anyone in a drink driving accident (yet)... the list goes on.. you get the picture.
Sure, I have had awful things happen to me in my life. Things that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, but they happened. Drinking wont change that, it didn't make the feelings go away. It just meant at the end of the night I would end up a pathetic crying mess. I drank because I had anxiety?.... no I didn't, I drank because I am an alcoholic and I used that and a million other excuses to drink. I have them... millions of them but until I accepted the truth, I could not move forward with my life.
I have learnt that I am a strong woman. I am not my past. I am who I am at this moment of time. Recovery continues to teach me that living in the moment is not only necessary but a very powerful way of living. So, I take this ride on the journey they call life, one day at a time. People say "wow, two years... but it really is just one day at a time, the days just add up.
My life is not zooming by anymore. Where will I be this time next year? Who knows and isn't that the most exciting part about living?...... sober Thank you my SR family :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
thanks Oz for telling it like it is... and congrats!!! I like your neverending newcomer spin- its like surrender- I do the little one each day so I don't have to repeat that hard first one...
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