Update from the zoo crew household...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Update from the zoo crew household...
Well, the fire is now up to AD's butt. I recently sat down with her and said at one point, I was willing to revisit the May 1st move-out date, but was no longer willing to do that based on my finances and her actions over the past 10 weeks.
Yes, she has reached out to resources like Vo-Rehab and an independent organization helping the disabled with many things like job search. However, these things take time with all the paperwork, and I had told her last month that she needed to either get motivated on her own while these organizations did what they needed to do, or just wait around and find herself sitting on the curb homeless as of May 1st.
Now she's stressed due to her own inaction. I told her if she did not have a job by the 26th, she is out that day. I am done, well-cooked, thank you very much.
She managed to find transportation to her OP treatment. I made it clear I was not willing to drive the 80 miles round trip just because there is no outpatient program locally. She's a resourceful girl, and if she applies that to positive things, she will get somewhere in life.
I have been more than generous in taking her in one more time. She is allowed to see her kids only because their dad knows my house is a safe and healthy environment. She doesn't have to worry about any of her stuff being stolen (which has happened frequently because of the people she's chosen to live with in the past). She has a ride to AA because I go (she has no car and a suspended license due to unpaid fines from past legal troubles).
I was very glad to touch base with my therapist yesterday, and will continue to stand firm on my boundaries. I still attend Alanon faithfully, meet with my caseworker through mental health services, and of course also attend AA and apply the steps to my life.
Now that my oldest dog has gone, there has been a subtle shift in the pack, but nothing extreme. Randy, my greyhound, has been sad as Shiloh was the one other dog I left uncrated along with Randy whenever I was gone. They were the two "seniors" of the pack. Our hearts will heal in time, and I'll continue to be grateful for my four-legged companions I do have.
Again, I am also grateful for 8 more years of recovery under my belt when I made the decision to allow AD to move in temporarily. I have had days where I regressed and was slack about some boundaries, but thanks to continuing support from so many people, I was able to get back on track quickly. That is a definite improvement from the last time she was with me and the insanity and chaos erupted!
Yes, she has reached out to resources like Vo-Rehab and an independent organization helping the disabled with many things like job search. However, these things take time with all the paperwork, and I had told her last month that she needed to either get motivated on her own while these organizations did what they needed to do, or just wait around and find herself sitting on the curb homeless as of May 1st.
Now she's stressed due to her own inaction. I told her if she did not have a job by the 26th, she is out that day. I am done, well-cooked, thank you very much.
She managed to find transportation to her OP treatment. I made it clear I was not willing to drive the 80 miles round trip just because there is no outpatient program locally. She's a resourceful girl, and if she applies that to positive things, she will get somewhere in life.
I have been more than generous in taking her in one more time. She is allowed to see her kids only because their dad knows my house is a safe and healthy environment. She doesn't have to worry about any of her stuff being stolen (which has happened frequently because of the people she's chosen to live with in the past). She has a ride to AA because I go (she has no car and a suspended license due to unpaid fines from past legal troubles).
I was very glad to touch base with my therapist yesterday, and will continue to stand firm on my boundaries. I still attend Alanon faithfully, meet with my caseworker through mental health services, and of course also attend AA and apply the steps to my life.
Now that my oldest dog has gone, there has been a subtle shift in the pack, but nothing extreme. Randy, my greyhound, has been sad as Shiloh was the one other dog I left uncrated along with Randy whenever I was gone. They were the two "seniors" of the pack. Our hearts will heal in time, and I'll continue to be grateful for my four-legged companions I do have.
Again, I am also grateful for 8 more years of recovery under my belt when I made the decision to allow AD to move in temporarily. I have had days where I regressed and was slack about some boundaries, but thanks to continuing support from so many people, I was able to get back on track quickly. That is a definite improvement from the last time she was with me and the insanity and chaos erupted!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((DeVon))) - sounds like you are doing awesome. Sorry (((Randy))) is feeling a bit lost without (((Shiloh))) but I'm sure your love will get him through it.
As far as the AD, guess she'll learn about consequences (like inaction) one way or another, right?
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
As far as the AD, guess she'll learn about consequences (like inaction) one way or another, right?
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Good thing you checked in.
I had my calendar marked to give you a call this evening, roflmao
Sounds like your recovery is doing great. AD, wellllllllll I know that is another story, lol
I am sorry Randy is missing his buddy. I too have noticed that with my crew, when passes, the others do miss that pack member. Just showed me that dogs do have emotions and do care.
Love and hugs,
I had my calendar marked to give you a call this evening, roflmao
Sounds like your recovery is doing great. AD, wellllllllll I know that is another story, lol
I am sorry Randy is missing his buddy. I too have noticed that with my crew, when passes, the others do miss that pack member. Just showed me that dogs do have emotions and do care.
Love and hugs,
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You have given her opportunity to get herself safely grounded. Now you are giving her the opportunity to take care of herself...a lesson that will help her through her entire life. Keeping you both in my prayers.
And I believe too that dogs have emotions, just like we do. Cats too. They bring us unconditional love. Our kids could learn from their furry siblings.
And I believe too that dogs have emotions, just like we do. Cats too. They bring us unconditional love. Our kids could learn from their furry siblings.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Thanks for the update. You sound grounded. One day at a time......right? I wish you lived closer. Randy could take a trot around our backyard with my two greyhounds. You know how those old ex racers love others of their breed!
gentle hugs
ke
gentle hugs
ke
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
You sound good Freedom. I imagine this has been a bit of a test for the both of you. I really hope things work out for your daughter. I hope that one day down the road, she can say "I did the work because my mom allowed me to" 
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