womaninprogress

Do you ever get tired of feeling like YOU'RE the one with the problem?

I'm sick to death of feeling like I'm broken. Ok, maybe I am codie...but YOU'RE a drunk! I can form real deep relationships and have meaningful conversations and not live in la la shallow world. I'm sick of feeling like I'm f*cked up! I've HAD normal boring loving mutual respective relationships in my life.

I keep reading and searching and hoping to find my cure. I think simply my cure is to dump your a**! Which I did, for THE LAST TIME!

SearchSerenity

way to go!

Lilmssunshine

Nope were not the one with the problem. Their problems cause Codependency. We feel f*cked up too because we've attempted to adapt to their issues. You can get through this. This too shall pass. *Hugs*

LoneStar2x

Sounds like you're having a super bad day. Is it just the relationship part? Anything positive going on with you?

womaninprogress

I am having a super bad day. My mom was diagnosed with liver cancer in Jan. Easter Sunday she had a heart attack and she's currently in the hospital. Lastnight she looked worse and douchebag who has been sober for a month decided to go on a drinking binge and do his famous, I guess I'm done with you so rather then tell you I'll take the pansy way out and just go get trashed and block you out & go out with some skank til you get the hint.

So what is positive with me today, After 3 years of working on me and my codie issues....and working by myself to save a relationship that isan't worth having, I got the hint.....LOUD AND CLEAR! And I will not shed a single tear for that heartless selfish b*stard. On to bigger and better things. I feel like a nuse has been released, an anchor cut. Honestly he just caused me more heartache and pain, he did NOTHING positive for me, or to me. Kind of funny, before I realized what he was doing lastnight I was thinking "gee, he's been sober a month, and I really don't like him". And here I thought it was the alcohol.....lol.

wanttobehealthy

womaninprogress- i am so sorry about your mom, and for you-- that has to be hard to see her health deteriorating. and in true A fashion, the douchebag (that's my new favorite adjective for ah as well!) needed to make your suffering about him... .i can't tell you how many times, when all hell was crumbling around me (losing my job for ex last year or d4 having serious surgery when she was 2), my ah used these opportunities as a justification to go get smashed and all that did was add to my stress 100 fold.

good for you for seeing him as the a$$ he is and good too that you determined that even sober he is a jerk. i thought for a long time that if ah stopped drinking he'd go back to being the "nice" guy that i thought he was (but which he never ever was really). even during his brief sober times he was still a collossal douchebag and i don't know why i wasted so much time on him.

way to go on deciding to go in a positive direction. your observations about yours causing you more heartache than anything else are very astute.

xo

LoneStar2x

To put it mildly it sucks about you're Mom. Hopefully she will improve and resume a somewhat normal life. I wish you all the best with that. Now on to door number 2, get the joke number 2

The sooner you realize your life is more important, the better. Put a size 11 on, reach way back, and plant it so hard in his ass that it will be sitting on the top of his head.

Put the shifter in drive and move forward. Sounds like you've already decided you need a change. There's a whole world outside of the codie world believe me. Stay strong, try and relax, do something for yourself.

Peace...

womaninprogress

And here I thought my A was "unique" in using every major stressor in my life as an easy out to go get drunk.
Example:
first time my mom went to er with liver pains, he was drunk, it was 11pm he had to work the next day, told him go to bed I'd be ok with mom at ER, he blows up my phone while I'm at the er....I'm goin to jail, got busted driving, come get me. Ummm.....NO.

Went with my mom to pre-arrange her funeral......after weeks sober he decides since I won't be able to "baby set" he'll go tie one on. GEE...NO I DON'T NEED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BUT THANKS, ENJOY YOURSELF.

I need to remind myself that EVERYTIME I've "needed" him, he wasn't there.

I'm so sorry any of us have to go through this. I know I am a true, loyal, supportive friend/ lover/ daughter/ woman and I deserve the same in return, as well as all of you on here.

itsmylifenow

I'm sorry about your mom and this stressful time you are going through.

It seems to be a very common theme among alcoholics. The minute you have someone else to take care of that takes you away from them they get in this panicky place and make it all about them.

My EXAB left me at the hospital while I was having heart issues to go back to an estate sale we had just come from, he was drunk another time I had gone in and actually pushed me over in the bed so he could lie down then continued to pass out, and one time when my daughter had gotten strep throat and was really sick he told me to get it done fast because there was something on the weekend he wanted to do.

God, when I write these things I want to hit my head against the wall. WTH was I thinking??

Again, sorry about your mom. Take care of her and YOU and don't let the DB get to you.