MycoolFitz

For those following "Daze on My Life" I made it to a new dawn. It means little to the world but everything to me--that I can face adversity sober and it doesn't kill me. I would love to nhear how others deal with the tough stuff in life without resorting to their DOC. I'm kind of putting together a journal of thoughts and ideas which I plan to puruse if and when the easy way out of the tough sheet is the easy way out. Look forward to hearing from you and adding to my sobriety gene pool.

"What the caterpillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly."
~Lao Tzu~

desertsong

I just remind myself that there is no problem in the world that alcohol can't make worse. It doesn't make problems go away ... it just numbs you toward them for a short while, but you end up having to face them anyway. And it's easier to face them without a hangover or with that dark cloud hanging over your head.

Proud of you.

Hevyn

Fitz - My last binge almost killed me, unlike all the ones that went before. I have to stay sober or die. It's no longer a choice. Now that I know that - if I pick up again, I deserve whatever I get.

I'm older, like you - and I no longer have the resilience to keep coming back from a drinking spree. I was forced to come to the conclusion that no problem would be solved by drinking, nothing would be made more fun, nothing enhanced or made more special. In the end, all it did was make me foggy, numb, vulnerable and stupid. When I drink all roads lead directly to hell.

Love you oh Cool One. You will make it this time.

heathersweeds

The behavior that comes to mind right now is, my body was never satisfied. Even if I owned a liquore store I could never reach a comfortable numb. There was a constant nagging in the pit of my stomache for more. I hate this unquenchable desire!!! This is a big one for me to think of when I feel I have the right to an "f-it" attitude. Then I go straight to an AA meeting.

DayTrader

My Drug of Choice is recovery.......my drug of NO choice was booze. (another drug I had choice over was cocaine and extasy......but that's another story - ).

I've had some pretty f-d up stuff happen in sobriety. Stem mom attempted to murder my dad because he's a mean, hateful, nasty alcoholic who doesn't really drink much anymore but lives in the worst hell I've ever seen (murder IS a bit far.....but I can understand where she was coming from).

When I took the guns out of my dad's house because he was contemplating shooting himself......and because my step-mom was coming home from jail (charges dropped because dad refused to cooperate) he decided I'm a piece of S...T, never really was his son, disowned me, took me off his will and trust, and won't even take a phone call from me.

I lost THE last material possession that really meant anything to me - my house.....in foreclosure.........as the result of actions (and lack of actions) that I did/didn't do WHILE SOBER - during the time I knew better and was trying to work this spiritual program of recovery in AA.......

I could go on but you get the gist. Sobriety doesn't = everything going the way we want in life. I seemed to think that IF I got sober, the world would be a better place for me. LOL, yeah, right Mike.... they're all gonna get better because YOU did.

Anyway.... not to beat an old drum but were it not for whatever HP is out there and the steps in AA that I've had to work, rework, and rework and rework........... there's no way I would have stayed sober.

I suspect my reply isn't much help to you........but no amount of support, friendship, fellowship, advice, love, thinking through the drink, etc likely would have sufficed. Hell, just thinking/typing about some of those things now ignites the pilot light on "man......getting loaded suuuuure would take those worries away" for a second or two. I just felt compelled to post.

wellwisher

Well, Fitz, I think of cogs and wheels.

If the machine is frozen, I focus on the center cog, get that loosened up, and kept it oiled. That's the main cog - my sobriety. I keep that well-oiled throughout, and move on to the next frozen gear; and then the next, and the next, until I have one high functioning, well-oiled, firing on all cyclinders, machine.

But you really do have to keep that sobriety well oiled, and all else, with a little elbow grease and tenacity, will fall into place.

Relayer

Agree completely!! I do that many times a day and it has worked well. Also... I always stay vigilant and tell the alcohol voice to shut-up!!! Great to hear that your doing well w/ the sobriety!!

Firehazard

Hi Cool Fiz,

I started to ask GOD for help because I had absolutely given up trying myself and you know what I got help. I guess instead of turning to the DOC I turn to the creator in my own way. I hope that helps although I think I remember from two years back that you are not a believer.

I love the Lao Tzu quote and it makes me wonder that at the end of this life that I call the end what becomes of me. That is in GODs hands and is beyond my meger understanding. So good to have you back . What a miracle.