What would YOU do?
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
What would YOU do?
Okay, as of this week I will be at 4 months sober 
Doing pretty good thus far.
Next month I go on vacation on a 7 day cruise from Miami.
I'm contemplating a shore excursion that is St John Champagne Catarmaran.
Here's the description.
Now the key word here is other beverages are offered as well as the champagne.
Should I book it or should I abstain?
At this point hubby and I really have nothing else that sounds good to us in St Thomas.
The way I figure it is the time that I'll really be bugged by my new sober life wouldn't be on this shore excursion. It would be when we're leaving Miami and everyone is enjoying their foo foo drinks with little umbrellas (cause that's what I used to do!)
The wonderful thing is hubby has been standing behind me 100% and even my 6 year old son will question me if I joke around and say I'm buying some wine so I know I'll have my two most important men around me, supporting me.
Whatdya think?
Doing pretty good thus far.
Next month I go on vacation on a 7 day cruise from Miami.
I'm contemplating a shore excursion that is St John Champagne Catarmaran.
Here's the description.
Take a short ride to the marina and step aboard the catamaran for a fabulous sail to St John.
Sail along the south side of St. Thomas and glide through Current Cut on the eastern end of the island.
Enjoy a brisk sail across Pillsbury Sound to its special anchoring destination.
Have approximately one and a half hours to swim, snorkel, beach comb or simply sit back and relax under a shady palm tree.
Enjoy freshly baked breads, cheeses, fruits and a variety of beverages onboard. Champagne and other beverages are complimentary after swimming and snorkeling.
Sail along the south side of St. Thomas and glide through Current Cut on the eastern end of the island.
Enjoy a brisk sail across Pillsbury Sound to its special anchoring destination.
Have approximately one and a half hours to swim, snorkel, beach comb or simply sit back and relax under a shady palm tree.
Enjoy freshly baked breads, cheeses, fruits and a variety of beverages onboard. Champagne and other beverages are complimentary after swimming and snorkeling.
Should I book it or should I abstain?
At this point hubby and I really have nothing else that sounds good to us in St Thomas.
The way I figure it is the time that I'll really be bugged by my new sober life wouldn't be on this shore excursion. It would be when we're leaving Miami and everyone is enjoying their foo foo drinks with little umbrellas (cause that's what I used to do!)
The wonderful thing is hubby has been standing behind me 100% and even my 6 year old son will question me if I joke around and say I'm buying some wine so I know I'll have my two most important men around me, supporting me.
Whatdya think?
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
You'll have 5 months by the time you go (still pretty early, but at least it's not 5 days or 5 weeks), so if you feel pretty solid about your sobriety by then, I'd say go for it. We have to learn how to "get back out there" eventually if we're going to have a normal life, and unfortunately, alcohol is pretty much everywhere. This sounds like a lovely vacation and a great opportunity for some family bonding. Have your hubby and child keep you accountable, and have a wonderful time!
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
desertsong,
That is what I feel too.
There have been times that I've been in the car with my son and I've jokingly told him "Mama is going to go buy some wine" at which point I usually get an answer like "Are you really? No Mama, you can't do that. You said you stopped drinking wine!"
Plus I am pretty solid in my sobriety at this point. I've had some tough times here and there but I'm still here and still sober.
I think it'll be harder to be on the cruise and being surrounded by people drinking then on this shore excursion. You know?
That is what I feel too.
There have been times that I've been in the car with my son and I've jokingly told him "Mama is going to go buy some wine" at which point I usually get an answer like "Are you really? No Mama, you can't do that. You said you stopped drinking wine!"
Plus I am pretty solid in my sobriety at this point. I've had some tough times here and there but I'm still here and still sober.
I think it'll be harder to be on the cruise and being surrounded by people drinking then on this shore excursion. You know?
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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You know you can't drink...Don't drink. I can tell you St. John is beautiful....The menu sounds great and I doubt you'll be the only ones not drinking....The snorkling is excellent. I'm sure they'll have some nice non-alcohol drinks available on board. Sounds like a great day to me. I'd be all over it.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
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You can do it. And you will feel so proud of yourself when you return. I was there only once many years ago I was about 12 or so. And it was on a cruise also we went snorkeling at national beach that the Rockafellers donated. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Hi, I guess I have a different take on this than most of the other kind posters , but, since you asked what *I* would do... here goes it...
I am similiar to you in terms of my recovery stage... just over five months sober. At first I did a lot of things that tempted/worried me, like going out to clubs and not drinking, being around friends and family members who were drinking every day, going on a friggin' brewery tour... and yes I stayed sober but it wasn't easy and it didn't feel great. I felt like, what am I doing here?? Really I was doing it because it was the "thing to do"... I was visiting family, or on vacation, and the schedule or plans included those things and I didn't want to be a party-pooper or "miss out" or hold other people back etc.
Well rather recently I just got tired of that. I was putting other people and other "plans"/expectations of what I was supposed to do while on certain trips or around certain people etc., ahead of what I truly wanted to do. And I was playing with fire because I was worried about it and I did fear that I would drink. So I say if you have ANY worry AT ALL that you may drink, cut out that temptation completely.
I recently declined a trip to Vegas that my friend really wanted me to go on, partly because I was worried I would drink and partly because I just didn't feel like being around alcohol and people drinking, having that environment around me when my focus is getting healthier and happier and staying sober. Granted we may be at different places... people are saying 5 months is long enough in but to be perfectly honest, I feel that my sobriety is a very precarious and vulnerable thing that I need to protect and guard. Some days I want to drink!! Some moments I just imagine myself thinking it's okay to have a champagne toast. So for me I need to do what I need to do to make sure that doesn't happen.
I really think it depends on your mindset and where you're at. If you have any doubts, don't go there, is my advice. If you are questioning it, there's a reason. But if you truly feel strong in your sobriety and feel like drinking the "other beverages" while everyone else is toasting with champagne, then go for it. I know that sounds facetious but I really mean it. What I'm trying to say is be true to yourself, go with your gut and your instincts, but above all protect your sobriety and recovery!!! Best wishes. Have a fun trip!
, but, since you asked what *I* would do... here goes it...I am similiar to you in terms of my recovery stage... just over five months sober. At first I did a lot of things that tempted/worried me, like going out to clubs and not drinking, being around friends and family members who were drinking every day, going on a friggin' brewery tour... and yes I stayed sober but it wasn't easy and it didn't feel great. I felt like, what am I doing here?? Really I was doing it because it was the "thing to do"... I was visiting family, or on vacation, and the schedule or plans included those things and I didn't want to be a party-pooper or "miss out" or hold other people back etc.
Well rather recently I just got tired of that. I was putting other people and other "plans"/expectations of what I was supposed to do while on certain trips or around certain people etc., ahead of what I truly wanted to do. And I was playing with fire because I was worried about it and I did fear that I would drink. So I say if you have ANY worry AT ALL that you may drink, cut out that temptation completely.
I recently declined a trip to Vegas that my friend really wanted me to go on, partly because I was worried I would drink and partly because I just didn't feel like being around alcohol and people drinking, having that environment around me when my focus is getting healthier and happier and staying sober. Granted we may be at different places... people are saying 5 months is long enough in but to be perfectly honest, I feel that my sobriety is a very precarious and vulnerable thing that I need to protect and guard. Some days I want to drink!! Some moments I just imagine myself thinking it's okay to have a champagne toast. So for me I need to do what I need to do to make sure that doesn't happen.
I really think it depends on your mindset and where you're at. If you have any doubts, don't go there, is my advice. If you are questioning it, there's a reason. But if you truly feel strong in your sobriety and feel like drinking the "other beverages" while everyone else is toasting with champagne, then go for it. I know that sounds facetious but I really mean it. What I'm trying to say is be true to yourself, go with your gut and your instincts, but above all protect your sobriety and recovery!!! Best wishes. Have a fun trip!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Munchkin -
I meant to add, that as I avoid distractions/temptations and focus on my own internal recovery, and make sobriety my number one priority, I have found myself feeling happier inside and stronger in my sobriety. Like, enventually I imagine myself in the place I want to be, where if other people are drinking, cool, if I feel like going out and dancing, cool... I don't worry about drinking. But right now while I am worried about it, I best avoid it. But it's a paradox to me, how staying away from alcohol or situations I know aren't best for me makes me feel more calm and safe about being around alcohol. So maybe you are already at the place where you feel fine being around alcohol. I don't know what recovery program you're using but in AA they say that we can be around alcohol without temptation if we are spiritually fit. Well right now I'm not at my peak spiritual fitness
, I'm just taking baby steps and trying to get there... but I do see how once I am happy with my life and comfortable and strong in my sobriety, alcohol just won't appeal to me at all anymore!! Sometimes it's already like that, other times, not so much. I am just trying to trust myself and not put too many pressures on myself, and so I think this is one of those judgment calls where you have to honestly ask yourself where you are, and don't feel bad if you're not leaps and bounds ahead, to where you totally don't care if you can't enjoy a champagne toast... I think that would be natural and I do think 5 months is still quite "young" in terms of sobriety. Again best wishes.
I meant to add, that as I avoid distractions/temptations and focus on my own internal recovery, and make sobriety my number one priority, I have found myself feeling happier inside and stronger in my sobriety. Like, enventually I imagine myself in the place I want to be, where if other people are drinking, cool, if I feel like going out and dancing, cool... I don't worry about drinking. But right now while I am worried about it, I best avoid it. But it's a paradox to me, how staying away from alcohol or situations I know aren't best for me makes me feel more calm and safe about being around alcohol. So maybe you are already at the place where you feel fine being around alcohol. I don't know what recovery program you're using but in AA they say that we can be around alcohol without temptation if we are spiritually fit. Well right now I'm not at my peak spiritual fitness
, I'm just taking baby steps and trying to get there... but I do see how once I am happy with my life and comfortable and strong in my sobriety, alcohol just won't appeal to me at all anymore!! Sometimes it's already like that, other times, not so much. I am just trying to trust myself and not put too many pressures on myself, and so I think this is one of those judgment calls where you have to honestly ask yourself where you are, and don't feel bad if you're not leaps and bounds ahead, to where you totally don't care if you can't enjoy a champagne toast... I think that would be natural and I do think 5 months is still quite "young" in terms of sobriety. Again best wishes. Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by Sapling 
I think you have to gaurd it at any amount of time Pigtails...But a day sail and snorkling with a supportive husband and son sounds a lot safer than a trip to Vegas with drinkers...
In my situation my friend who was in Vegas doesn't drink or doesn't drink much (she might have a cocktail and leave it sitting there half-full... which I can never understand ). But in general in situations where I feel any doubt I am opting out for now. Just my own experience and I agree in her situation it sounds much safer.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Me? I'd absolutely go.
Then again, I'd tour the vineyards in wine-country too. I also have dinner in bars from time to time -- sometimes I sit right up at the bar and chat up the bartenders for old times sake. I also have wine in my house...know right where it is and I live alone..... (and yanno, nobody would know.....lol). Then again, I'm a recovered alcoholic, I've got a connection with a really kick-ass God of my understanding and as the result of some massive changes that occurred in my life as I worked the 12 steps in AA, I can pretty-much do anything a non-alkie can do........whether booze is around or not.
Neither I nor anyone here could possibly tell you what's right for you.........but then again........I suspect you knew the answer before you hit "post."
Be careful.....I've seen lots of ppl look for validation that it's ok to and then completely let their guard down at said event. I've seen others "not go" then resent the fact that they skipped it......and use that resentment as a spark to go back out. Of course, some go and it goes great. Others go and it blows up in their face. YOU have to be HONEST with YOURSELF.....that's the only advice you NEED.
Then again, I'd tour the vineyards in wine-country too. I also have dinner in bars from time to time -- sometimes I sit right up at the bar and chat up the bartenders for old times sake. I also have wine in my house...know right where it is and I live alone..... (and yanno, nobody would know.....lol). Then again, I'm a recovered alcoholic, I've got a connection with a really kick-ass God of my understanding and as the result of some massive changes that occurred in my life as I worked the 12 steps in AA, I can pretty-much do anything a non-alkie can do........whether booze is around or not.
Neither I nor anyone here could possibly tell you what's right for you.........but then again........I suspect you knew the answer before you hit "post."
Be careful.....I've seen lots of ppl look for validation that it's ok to and then completely let their guard down at said event. I've seen others "not go" then resent the fact that they skipped it......and use that resentment as a spark to go back out. Of course, some go and it goes great. Others go and it blows up in their face. YOU have to be HONEST with YOURSELF.....that's the only advice you NEED.
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Originally Posted by Pigtails
Right, I meant to add that I know they are different situations. In my situation my friend who was in Vegas doesn't drink or doesn't drink much (she might have a cocktail and leave it sitting there half-full... which I can never understand ). But in general in situations where I feel any doubt I am opting out for now. Just my own experience and I agree in her situation it sounds much safer.
In my situation my friend who was in Vegas doesn't drink or doesn't drink much (she might have a cocktail and leave it sitting there half-full... which I can never understand ). But in general in situations where I feel any doubt I am opting out for now. Just my own experience and I agree in her situation it sounds much safer.SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
I would book that incredible trip and go anywhere I wanted. I would not have to drink to enjoy myself there. One of our old timers in my home group just got back from the Caymans and he attended AA meetings on the boat and in the town. You would probably find me in there as well ha ha. For me my big temtation woulld be hanging out with the Rasta man and then thinking it would be a great time to enjoy smoking some mother nature.
At five to six months is considered substantial physical and mental sobriety and I am sure you have already been in shaky/tempting situations. You can prevail again!!!!
At five to six months is considered substantial physical and mental sobriety and I am sure you have already been in shaky/tempting situations. You can prevail again!!!!
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Munchkin: Are we twins???? LOL. I'm going on a cruise next month too. We have a packed itinerary of 5 islands. I love snorkeling and will likely do one of those exact type of cat tours you are doing. I think we'll be diving in St. Thomas instead of snorkeling though.
So there's what I would do!!
Go to cruise critic and check out their forums. I asked around about non-alcoholic drinks and was rewarded with all kinds of info about it. Apparently it's widely done! A vacation like this is far from everyday life and I'm psyched about it. I'll have 5 mos when I go.
I'm not sure I'd do a champagne trip exactly. But they do stuff like that to allure the drinkers. Honestly snorkeling in St. Thomas will be fantastic and exhausting too - you'll be fine!
I'm with pigtails and wouldn't want to bother with a brewery tour or a club -- because um, boooooring!!!!! But snorkeling is something entirely different. If there's an activity for me that's fun and I'm doing something - but they are offering drinks - I think it's fine. If it's an activity that's main focus is drinking, then I'll opt out. That's boring.
We won't be far from you, we are leaving from San Juan, Puerto Rico.
So there's what I would do!!
Go to cruise critic and check out their forums. I asked around about non-alcoholic drinks and was rewarded with all kinds of info about it. Apparently it's widely done! A vacation like this is far from everyday life and I'm psyched about it. I'll have 5 mos when I go.
I'm not sure I'd do a champagne trip exactly. But they do stuff like that to allure the drinkers. Honestly snorkeling in St. Thomas will be fantastic and exhausting too - you'll be fine!
I'm with pigtails and wouldn't want to bother with a brewery tour or a club -- because um, boooooring!!!!! But snorkeling is something entirely different. If there's an activity for me that's fun and I'm doing something - but they are offering drinks - I think it's fine. If it's an activity that's main focus is drinking, then I'll opt out. That's boring.
We won't be far from you, we are leaving from San Juan, Puerto Rico.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
By the way, congratulations!!!!!!!!!
**I also plan on attending mtgs while on the ship. You can find out if your ship has them by going to cruise critic forums and asking around. Seems like they all have them these days. Have fun!!
**I also plan on attending mtgs while on the ship. You can find out if your ship has them by going to cruise critic forums and asking around. Seems like they all have them these days. Have fun!!
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
LOL Lost.
OMG I post there non stop (at cruise critic).
Well, no. That's a fib. Lately I haven't posted as much since we were still in the mode of "are we going or aren't we?"
I actually went on the board yesterday and asked about the "other beverages" just to prepare myself mentally.
I find if I walk into a situation fully aware and knowing that I WILL ENCOUNTER this then I can prepare. On the other hand, at times when I didn't even think that I would be in this situation, well those are the times that are the hardest.
Daytrader,
I too, have some very nice bottles of wine in my house. I still cook with wine. In fact my hubby opened up some mead that we were cooking with, took a drink and told me how it tasted. While I did have a somewhat "sad" moment, it was most definitely NOT a trigger for me.
I'm pretty certain (like 99.9%) that I can go on a shore excursion like this and almost completely avoid the feeling of temptation. I might have a sad "oh I wish I could do that" moment but I imagine the beauty of the islands, the enjoyable company, the good food will all make me rapidly forget.
Oddly enough, this shore excursion we previously avoided even thinking about! A month ago we saw it and read "champagne" and zoomed away as fast as possible. Now we read it and just shrugged and answered "Really no big deal".
So off I go to Carnival cruise land/website to book it.
OMG I post there non stop (at cruise critic).
Well, no. That's a fib. Lately I haven't posted as much since we were still in the mode of "are we going or aren't we?"
I actually went on the board yesterday and asked about the "other beverages" just to prepare myself mentally.
I find if I walk into a situation fully aware and knowing that I WILL ENCOUNTER this then I can prepare. On the other hand, at times when I didn't even think that I would be in this situation, well those are the times that are the hardest.
Daytrader,
I too, have some very nice bottles of wine in my house. I still cook with wine. In fact my hubby opened up some mead that we were cooking with, took a drink and told me how it tasted. While I did have a somewhat "sad" moment, it was most definitely NOT a trigger for me.
I'm pretty certain (like 99.9%) that I can go on a shore excursion like this and almost completely avoid the feeling of temptation. I might have a sad "oh I wish I could do that" moment but I imagine the beauty of the islands, the enjoyable company, the good food will all make me rapidly forget.
Oddly enough, this shore excursion we previously avoided even thinking about! A month ago we saw it and read "champagne" and zoomed away as fast as possible. Now we read it and just shrugged and answered "Really no big deal".
So off I go to Carnival cruise land/website to book it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
Hey Munchkin,
I say this with love and respect. It's time IMO to stop mourning sobriety and celebrate....I know, I know...you do anything but mourn sobriety. In fact, exactly my point - believe it or not, i still pretty religiously read your journal posts, although of late i have not made any comments. I can tell from your posts, that alcohol is now behind you. So just live your life like anybody else normally would. Not saying don't be vigilant, but I have read your posts, and at least to me, it sounds like you are firm in your sobriety.
I say this with love and respect. It's time IMO to stop mourning sobriety and celebrate....I know, I know...you do anything but mourn sobriety. In fact, exactly my point - believe it or not, i still pretty religiously read your journal posts, although of late i have not made any comments. I can tell from your posts, that alcohol is now behind you. So just live your life like anybody else normally would. Not saying don't be vigilant, but I have read your posts, and at least to me, it sounds like you are firm in your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 43
Yes - if you can afford it, and you can find the time, then I would say that you have every right to take your vacation.
I am an alcoholic, but I do not let the presence of alcohol deter my plans within reason. When I say "Within reason" that means that I would never go to a drinking party, a wine tasting event, or some sort of activity that revolves around drinking. But, when it comes to every day events, alcohol is just part of life. There is not much you can do to avoid it. I realize that some people go that extra mile, but if you are one of those people that do not need to go that extra mile, then you should be just fine.
I am an alcoholic, but I do not let the presence of alcohol deter my plans within reason. When I say "Within reason" that means that I would never go to a drinking party, a wine tasting event, or some sort of activity that revolves around drinking. But, when it comes to every day events, alcohol is just part of life. There is not much you can do to avoid it. I realize that some people go that extra mile, but if you are one of those people that do not need to go that extra mile, then you should be just fine.
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