Is alcoholism hereditary?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
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Is alcoholism hereditary?
I'm early to recovery, had 2 AA meetings, feel good and positive for the most part and determined to work through the steps and find my peace.
Something someone shared at a meeting last night has really played on my mind and kept me awake last night.
He was from a long line of alcoholics, and I am too. Drinking to the ultimate was how I grew up and I considered it normal. I've done the same most of my adult life and my own children have repeatedly seen me completely wasted.
They are now 18 and 16 years old. I'm worried sick that they might develop problems of their own either through carrying some sort of genetic predisposition to alcoholism or by watching me and considering this behaviour the norm.
I wouldn't wish that on them for the world.
What are people's thoughts?
Something someone shared at a meeting last night has really played on my mind and kept me awake last night.
He was from a long line of alcoholics, and I am too. Drinking to the ultimate was how I grew up and I considered it normal. I've done the same most of my adult life and my own children have repeatedly seen me completely wasted.
They are now 18 and 16 years old. I'm worried sick that they might develop problems of their own either through carrying some sort of genetic predisposition to alcoholism or by watching me and considering this behaviour the norm.
I wouldn't wish that on them for the world.
What are people's thoughts?
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Hey hon,
First of all, glad the meetings are goin well and you're feeling pretty positive
I've read lots about both the hereditary aspect, and the modelling aspect... I'd say, don't be worried sick, cos that's not going to change anything. You're a teacher. Educate them. You said that when you were growing up, it seemed normal. Did anyone ever tell you it isn't? Talk to them.
Lovely to hear from you xx
(...everyone else went back to work today...shhh
)
First of all, glad the meetings are goin well and you're feeling pretty positive
I've read lots about both the hereditary aspect, and the modelling aspect... I'd say, don't be worried sick, cos that's not going to change anything. You're a teacher. Educate them. You said that when you were growing up, it seemed normal. Did anyone ever tell you it isn't? Talk to them.
Lovely to hear from you xx
(...everyone else went back to work today...shhh
)
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Posts: 8,009
Thanks stillsleeping,
Feels great not to be at work doesn't it? Though have got a mountain of planning and prep to do, have developed well honed work avoidance strategies and got a busy day planned with only a few hrs spare for sitting on the laptop!
Thanks for your advice. I will chat to them, and have done so a little in the past at various times. Despite growing up with me as a parent, they both seem remarkably well rounded and mature, so I'm probably worrying unnecessarily!
Feels great not to be at work doesn't it? Though have got a mountain of planning and prep to do, have developed well honed work avoidance strategies and got a busy day planned with only a few hrs spare for sitting on the laptop!
Thanks for your advice. I will chat to them, and have done so a little in the past at various times. Despite growing up with me as a parent, they both seem remarkably well rounded and mature, so I'm probably worrying unnecessarily!
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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You'll notice a way, way above normal number of adopted kids in AA. Alcoholic mothers very often can't cope, are surprised and mystified by their pregnancy, put off having abortions because they are 'busy' and commonly lack ongoing support to raise children and they commonly give them up to be raised by most often by caring normal drinkers who provide great childhoods for us and better than average opportunities.
But our pedigree is what it is and we show up in AA.
I've got an identical twin out there somewhere who is likely as I was, wherever he is now. Since it's rare that alcoholics get and remain sober I've no interest in contacting him. I don't want someone that sick and dangerous to have my phone number.
There's a number of good studies out there that strongly indicate a genetic component to this thing, if you're interested.
Not all of us have family members who are also alcoholic, but by and large there's usually a grandparent or uncle who the family never wanted to talk much about.
But our pedigree is what it is and we show up in AA.
I've got an identical twin out there somewhere who is likely as I was, wherever he is now. Since it's rare that alcoholics get and remain sober I've no interest in contacting him. I don't want someone that sick and dangerous to have my phone number.
There's a number of good studies out there that strongly indicate a genetic component to this thing, if you're interested.
Not all of us have family members who are also alcoholic, but by and large there's usually a grandparent or uncle who the family never wanted to talk much about.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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All my uncle's on one side are alcoholics, all are dead from drinking but one, my grandfather too, also dead from it, my grandfather was half native american.
It's not only directly related people, ive read that the native american bloodline has a huge problem with alcohol simply because it hasnt been around but 300 years or so, opposed to italians of 2000 plus years.
It takes time to weed out the weak, so you see more alcoholics in natives than italians etc, irish has its place on that scale too.
When I read this it really opened my eyes, edeucating our children is very important, my kids seen me drink myself nearly to death, and so far not taken a drink yet, oldest is 22, but my wife has tought them not to do as i did, I am thankful to her for teaching them and using me as a bad example.
I spent my younger years feeling like i needed to be able to drink as much as older people, and that had bad concequences.
It's not only directly related people, ive read that the native american bloodline has a huge problem with alcohol simply because it hasnt been around but 300 years or so, opposed to italians of 2000 plus years.
It takes time to weed out the weak, so you see more alcoholics in natives than italians etc, irish has its place on that scale too.
When I read this it really opened my eyes, edeucating our children is very important, my kids seen me drink myself nearly to death, and so far not taken a drink yet, oldest is 22, but my wife has tought them not to do as i did, I am thankful to her for teaching them and using me as a bad example.
I spent my younger years feeling like i needed to be able to drink as much as older people, and that had bad concequences.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Jeni, since you mentioned having children I should note that I got sober in AA when my son was 8 months old at age 28. He in turn got sober in AA at age 20, 10 years ago. I believe knowing there was a solution available and seeing it working well for me and all my friends throughout his early life enabled him to not suffer as long.
Should you stay sober the benefits of that are very likely to extend in the same way it worked with my son to those you care most about as they experience their own difficulties with this later on.
Should you stay sober the benefits of that are very likely to extend in the same way it worked with my son to those you care most about as they experience their own difficulties with this later on.
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Thank you, that was all really helpful.
Guess the slip for me into alcoholism from heavy drinking was so gradual and passed almost unnoticed and I've never worried so much as I do know for their future.
Drinking was fun for a long time and fortunately I was never an angry or aggressive drunk, just completely useless as a parent most weekends.
There will be much honest open talk in our house from now on.
Guess the slip for me into alcoholism from heavy drinking was so gradual and passed almost unnoticed and I've never worried so much as I do know for their future.
Drinking was fun for a long time and fortunately I was never an angry or aggressive drunk, just completely useless as a parent most weekends.
There will be much honest open talk in our house from now on.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Originally Posted by SomethingBetter 
All my uncle's on one side are alcoholics, all are dead from drinking but one, my grandfather too, also dead from it, my grandfather was half native american.
It's not only directly related people, ive read that the native american bloodline has a huge problem with alcohol simply because it hasnt been around but 300 years or so, opposed to italians of 2000 plus years.
It takes time to weed out the weak, so you see more alcoholics in natives than italians etc, irish has its place on that scale too.
When I read this it really opened my eyes, edeucating our children is very important, my kids seen me drink myself nearly to death, and so far not taken a drink yet, oldest is 22, but my wife has tought them not to do as i did, I am thankful to her for teaching them and using me as a bad example.
I spent my younger years feeling like i needed to be able to drink as much as older people, and that had bad concequences.
It's not only directly related people, ive read that the native american bloodline has a huge problem with alcohol simply because it hasnt been around but 300 years or so, opposed to italians of 2000 plus years.
It takes time to weed out the weak, so you see more alcoholics in natives than italians etc, irish has its place on that scale too.
When I read this it really opened my eyes, edeucating our children is very important, my kids seen me drink myself nearly to death, and so far not taken a drink yet, oldest is 22, but my wife has tought them not to do as i did, I am thankful to her for teaching them and using me as a bad example.
I spent my younger years feeling like i needed to be able to drink as much as older people, and that had bad concequences.
Just a private theory.
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Based on my family tree, I'd say the tendency toward alcoholism is hereditary but the individual needs to do a little work to really "flip the switch". I don't have any science to back that up, just my personal experience and that of my siblings and cousins. I'm voting for a bit of both nature and nurture.
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Originally Posted by langkah
I wonder sometimes about this. Not so much about weeding out the weak, but the other side of it. That some of what commonly goes with being alcoholic makes us more attractive as partners and parents so this thing spreads widely in a community until alcohol is introduced, then things being the way they are we aren't then so attractive and our rate within the population decreases.
Just a private theory.
Just a private theory.
Good point, I know when I was young being ‘cool’ was just what I needed, and alcohol not only made me ‘cool’, it made me feel comfortable being me, I said the right things with alcohol, without it I wanted to delete the words coming out of my mouth as they were spoken, still feel that way sometimes but I don’t have to drink, I just talk less.
I only wish my parents would have taught me better coping skills, I try to teach my kids what I’ve learned, but being the only family member that admits to having a problem when clearly many others related to me drink to excess very often, it makes me look weak, or at least the minority.
The information I referenced was in the book "Under the influence" Page 45
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I wonder if, 2 recovered alcoholic parents could raise non alcoholic children.
My whole family drank, cousins and everybody included. Great grandparents, everybody pretty much with a few exceptions which was maybe just the odds because there were 13 children in the great aunt/uncle generation .
My whole family drank, cousins and everybody included. Great grandparents, everybody pretty much with a few exceptions which was maybe just the odds because there were 13 children in the great aunt/uncle generation .
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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I reckon everyone has a choice at the end of the day. Whether its hereditary or not is debatable. I'd definitely come from a long list of alcoholics but believe that it's a learnt behaviour nothing more. When you are brought up around addictive behaviour you inadvertently learn to see that behaviour is acceptable. For me, alcohol is more a gateway to my addictive appetite for other highs whereas my sister finds alcohol. My dad, alcohol. Cousin, died of an O.D. Uncles, aunts either are or are recovering alcoholics or addicts. Grandparents dead from liver failure. What's important is that I believe we all independently decide in the end just so happens our surrounding environments complicate rational decision making at times
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I don't know of anyone who if you shook their family tree hard enough an alcoholic doesn't fall out. Whether it's genetics or learned copying mechanisms passed down, I don't know where they would find a "control group" to accurately do a proper study.
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'my sister finds alcohol. My dad, alcohol. Cousin, died of an O.D. Uncles, aunts either are or are recovering alcoholics or addicts. Grandparents dead from liver failure.'
That's a whole lot of uniformly bad choosing going on. Seems like at least one out of a crowd like that would have zigged instead of zagged.
Great to hear about the recoveries, yours included.
That's a whole lot of uniformly bad choosing going on. Seems like at least one out of a crowd like that would have zigged instead of zagged.
Great to hear about the recoveries, yours included.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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There is surely a genetic disposition for alcoholism. I believe alcoholics have the original genes and they mutated into controlled drinkers genes. That makes more sense to me regarding evolution than the other way round.
If I had known I am alcoholic I would have chosen to not have any children. My son hasn't drank yet ( he just turned 13 ) but I guess we'll find out pretty quickly which side he belongs to when he does.
If I had known I am alcoholic I would have chosen to not have any children. My son hasn't drank yet ( he just turned 13 ) but I guess we'll find out pretty quickly which side he belongs to when he does.
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Originally Posted by fuzzy1
My son hasn't drank yet ( he just turned 13 ) but I guess we'll find out pretty quickly which side he belongs to when he does.
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Originally Posted by Jeni26
I'm early to recovery, had 2 AA meetings, feel good and positive for the most part and determined to work through the steps and find my peace.
Something someone shared at a meeting last night has really played on my mind and kept me awake last night.
They are now 18 and 16 years old. I'm worried sick that they might develop problems of their own either through carrying some sort of genetic predisposition to alcoholism or by watching me and considering this behaviour the norm.
I wouldn't wish that on them for the world.
What are people's thoughts?
Something someone shared at a meeting last night has really played on my mind and kept me awake last night.
They are now 18 and 16 years old. I'm worried sick that they might develop problems of their own either through carrying some sort of genetic predisposition to alcoholism or by watching me and considering this behaviour the norm.
I wouldn't wish that on them for the world.
What are people's thoughts?
I would continue with that and make your recovery very strong for your children as it can help them if they are or aren't alcoholics genetically. I heard somewhere that it usually skips a gereration which is very true in my case. My Grandfather was a raging alcoholic as I have learned but not my mother or father.
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