skarletstarlet

Hey guys

I recently had a UTI (very horrible bladder infection) and I needed to pee! AF and I were on our way home. We were 5 mins from the beer store when he told me we would be stopping. When I reminded him of how much pain I was in, he stopped for beer anyways.

I was livid. Who does that?

An alcoholic.

So why can't I get over him? Is it the fact that I feel like I want a perfect family without separation? What is keeping me at my parents house miserable that I can't see him?

itsmylifenow

Who does that is right? The selfish alcoholic who only has one thought on his mind.

I was having heart problems while driving to meet my XAB at an estate sale last year. It was so bad I thought about stopping on the expressway and calling 911 but figured I wanted to get to him instead.

When I told him I needed to go to the hospital the look on his face was unbelievable. He had just stood in line for an hour waiting to get into this house with all these wonderful trinkets he just had to have. As he was driving me there he had to stop to go to the bathroom. He pulled into a parking lot and sat for a minute, got out and peed, I think he might have even lit a bowl...meanwhile my heart is beating irregularly and out of control.

We get to the emergency room and as I'm sitting there he says to me, "it'd be bad if I asked you if I could go back to the sale wouldn't it?" Again, I was speechless. He stayed for maybe a 1/2 hour then couldn't take it anymore and used the excuse of wanting to go get my car from there and left.

Come to find out there was nothing wrong with my heart that extraditing a no good, useless AB couldn't take care of.

We all deserve to have people in our lives that are capable of being there for us when we truly need them. There is NOTHING more important to the addict than the fancy of their addiction, be it alcohol or pot or whatever. It's hard to walk away, but what are you really leaving?

Nothing worth keeping in my book.

ABIDEBYLAW

A new boyfriend/girlfriend is a dime a dozen. The next one is always better. Marrying someone you are not sure about will ruin your entire life. Run!
Have a nice day!

dollydo

Is this a new friend or the old ABF? In either case, it might be time to figure out why you hook up with men who drink and or have other addiction issues. You are so very young, 22 and with two small children, who should be your priorty, forget the addict, take care of those children..and, I am glad that your parents are there to support you and take care of those children.

skarletstarlet

Girl, my fiance left me at the hospital MANY times when I'd take our kids there (they are very young) and even after I had the kids. He left me there because he didn't like the name I suggested for our son. Is this like typical alcoholic behaviour? He wasn't even an alcoholic at the time.

skarletstarlet

You can say that again, even my fiance is better than my last boyfriend! lol but at least the last one didn't drink

skarletstarlet

Same one, we've been together 5 years. It's crazy. I hate it. It's a horrible, vicious, ugly, vindictive cycle of ugliness. I miss the old him. He ain't coming back. I have to focus on the kids and school. I must graduate and get a decent job! He is always telling me I am lazy and don't work but school is my work. I get very high grades, I am good at what I do. He is too jealous to see why I'm doing it. I gave him the opportunity to go back to school for WHATEVER he wanted. He chose cabinetmaking and he's failing. He has worked in cabinetmaking for 6 years and is still failing the courses. He just doesn't care about life.

skarletstarlet

I like the last bit you said. Nothing comes before my babies. Today he had the nerve to say to me "when YOU got pregnant" ugh like it was a choice that I make everyday similar to the one I make when I decide what I'm going to eat for lunch. Enough said.

Cyranoak

This is how God tells women not to marry people. It's stunning how many women do it anyway. Don't be one of those women and if you decide to be, everything that happens next will be on you, not him.

Cyranoak

skarletstarlet

Why did God lead me to become pregnant by him? Why not a nice deserving guy who usually finishes last?

stella27

If you want to talk about God, he told you not to have sex outside of marriage. Your choices and the Alcoholic Boyfriend's choices caused the pregnancy.

How about no guy for a while until you figure out what it is that makes you need one badly enough to settle for an alcoholic? And then, how about a nice guy who finishes first? God makes those too.


Now is the time to start making SMART choices. You can do it.

nodaybut2day

Because (and this is solely MY interpretation of things) everything happens for a reason. There's an opportunity to learn and grow behind every event in your life. Whether or not you grasp the hand being held out to you is entirely your choice.

I also had a child with an alcoholic, and that child was what helped me understand that I HAD to leave him, or I would be condemning her to grow up and live my life, repeating my unhealthy patterns along the way. For her and because of her, I turned my life around.

skarletstarlet

Actually, I don't really believe in God. It was just a question that deepened my disbelief in him.

Where are the guys who finish first? Actually, in my experience, they are with girls who don't deserve them

marie1960

"Where are the guys who finish first? Actually, in my experience, they are with girls who don't deserve them "
__________________

I find this statement judgemental, and filled with a false sense of self entitlement.

"Why did God lead me to become pregnant by him? Why not a nice deserving guy who usually finishes last? "

Hey your the one who chose to make the baby with this guy. Something had to attract you in the beginning.

If you want to make your life count, you have to do the work. You certainly are just as worthy. What is the saying. If someone else's grass looks greener, it's because they work on it and take care of it.

SadHeart

Because God gave you free will, and you freely chose to behave in a way that risks pregnancy with a guy whom you also freely chose.

God's isn't going to prevent you from marrying him, but this incident indicates he seems to be suggesting you not. But if you want to do so anyway, he'll let you.

He honors us by not hampering with our free will.