Not so happy anniversary
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 43
Not so happy anniversary
Today my cell phone alarm sent me an unwelcome reminder- today WOULD have been the 6th anniversary of my AW's sobriety. Unfortunately she relapsed about 6 months ago. I didn't get the reminder until after I got home from an alanon meeting, and took me by surprise.
It really irritates me as part of the discussion tonight (after the meeting) was how the A KNOWS what they need to do to get better, but neglects to do, either due to their disease, or apathy or both.
I can see the same pattern evolving as before, but now I am in the beginning stages of a recovery program and hopefully can deal with it better than I did last time around. Right now she is still highly functioning, but I have seen the progression before. I am trying to prepare myself for what may come next if she does not seek the help she needs.
On the bright side my AW is going on a week long vacation to visit family, so I will have a mental reprieve as well. Perhaps a prolonged period of meditation, and time to take care of me.
Thanks for listening.
It really irritates me as part of the discussion tonight (after the meeting) was how the A KNOWS what they need to do to get better, but neglects to do, either due to their disease, or apathy or both.
I can see the same pattern evolving as before, but now I am in the beginning stages of a recovery program and hopefully can deal with it better than I did last time around. Right now she is still highly functioning, but I have seen the progression before. I am trying to prepare myself for what may come next if she does not seek the help she needs.
On the bright side my AW is going on a week long vacation to visit family, so I will have a mental reprieve as well. Perhaps a prolonged period of meditation, and time to take care of me.
Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
That must have been very disappointing to get the reminder given the circumstances. I can only imagine how she must feel, too, knowing she made it that long and fell back down the rabbit hole. From what I hear described in the rooms of AA, relapse is extremely shameful on the A's. Even when they already know better (for lack of a better word here).
My dear friend relapsed at 4 months after several stops and starts and this time, I know she has the beginnings of a good sobriety tool kit. So in my mind, it becomes very hard to ignore the addiction, but addictions have a way of justifying that makes no sense to me!
Stay strong!
~T
My dear friend relapsed at 4 months after several stops and starts and this time, I know she has the beginnings of a good sobriety tool kit. So in my mind, it becomes very hard to ignore the addiction, but addictions have a way of justifying that makes no sense to me!
Stay strong!
~T
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 43
Thanks tuffgirl,
I told myself that I would not remind her of this date, because of the same things you stated. I am almost certain the day did not go unnoticed by her as she was very proud of it and we would go out to dinner in celebration discussing how much better things are since finding sobriety. I am sure there is a great burden of personal shame that goes unspoken. Perhaps one day she will want to discuss it, but I try to remind myself it is HER sobriety, not mine.
I told myself that I would not remind her of this date, because of the same things you stated. I am almost certain the day did not go unnoticed by her as she was very proud of it and we would go out to dinner in celebration discussing how much better things are since finding sobriety. I am sure there is a great burden of personal shame that goes unspoken. Perhaps one day she will want to discuss it, but I try to remind myself it is HER sobriety, not mine.
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