I'm Starting...Step 1.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 7
I'm Starting...Step 1.
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ~ that our lives had become unmanageable.
Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior? Yes. It has took me a long time (20 years) to learn this. I believe that I have finally learned this. Growing up my Dad was an alcoholic, now I'm married to one. I never asked my Dad to quit, but I have begged my husband. After 7 years old begging I know this is something he is going to have to do. I can't do it for him. I also can not control his behavior, but I believe there are things I can do to make it better. This is something I need to work on. If I ignore him, it makes him mad. But when I talk to him I get mad.
How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?
Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?
How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?
How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?
What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else?
How can I let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them?
Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one?
In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people?
In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else’s behavior?
What brought me to Al-Anon? What did I hope to gain at that time? How have my expectations changed?
Who has expressed concern about my behavior? My health? My children? Give examples.
How do I know when my life is unmanageable?
How have I sought approval and affirmation from others?
Do I say “yes” when I want to say “no”? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?
Do I take care of others easily, but find it difficult to care for myself?
How do I feel when life is going smoothly? Do I continually anticipate problems? Do I feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
How well do I take care of myself?
How do I feel when I am alone?
What is the difference between pity and love?
Am I attracted to alcoholics and other people who seem to need me to fix them? How have I tried to fix them?
Do I trust my own feelings? Do I know what they are?
Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior? Yes. It has took me a long time (20 years) to learn this. I believe that I have finally learned this. Growing up my Dad was an alcoholic, now I'm married to one. I never asked my Dad to quit, but I have begged my husband. After 7 years old begging I know this is something he is going to have to do. I can't do it for him. I also can not control his behavior, but I believe there are things I can do to make it better. This is something I need to work on. If I ignore him, it makes him mad. But when I talk to him I get mad.
How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?
Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?
How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?
How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?
What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else?
How can I let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them?
Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one?
In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people?
In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else’s behavior?
What brought me to Al-Anon? What did I hope to gain at that time? How have my expectations changed?
Who has expressed concern about my behavior? My health? My children? Give examples.
How do I know when my life is unmanageable?
How have I sought approval and affirmation from others?
Do I say “yes” when I want to say “no”? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?
Do I take care of others easily, but find it difficult to care for myself?
How do I feel when life is going smoothly? Do I continually anticipate problems? Do I feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
How well do I take care of myself?
How do I feel when I am alone?
What is the difference between pity and love?
Am I attracted to alcoholics and other people who seem to need me to fix them? How have I tried to fix them?
Do I trust my own feelings? Do I know what they are?
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Stick with it F2D! The steps worked for me. No matter how you go through them, they will change you. The Al-anon program is very healing. I don't know where I would be today without it. Hugs, Magic
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