kristin713

My withdrawal is getting pretty serious I can't go anywhere or do anything without wanting some kind of fix. A quick fix on my phone or to just light up the phones of my guys. This is bad I can't sleep. While everyone else is wearing shorts and a tank I'm sitting in fleece pants and a hoodie. I can't sleep. I get triggered really easily to the point where my hands are shaking. Triggers in my meetings are more common now that I've been sober for a week. I'm losing the respect of friends, family, I am much more cranky and bitchy than ever. I need time I guess but for now I'm just starting to feel the effects of my addiction. The feelings I pushed away while I was getting high are all coming back and full throttle. I even cried today and I don't know why. I think I was watching Hannah Montana with the girls I babysit o_0 This is my world now full of emotions what should I do, say think to stay sober. Especially when I've been told point blank if I need a fix I can get it whenever. Its taking everything in me not to say yes. Plus I talked to my sponsor but sometimes I feel like I'm too whiny like this is even too whiny. Sobriety has made me a whiny little bitch ugh!!!

eJoshua

Welcome to SR!

I don't have any experience with sex addiction, but I'm terribly sorry to hear that you are going through that. No advice for you, but I sure know how tough recovering from an addiction can be.

kristin713

Its not horribly different as much as people think. Has anyone ever dealt with the I feel whiny effect that I seem to be getting? I don't want to bother people. I just want to stay sober.

Dee74

I think most of us feel that way Kristin - no matter what our addiction - we don't want to bother anyone, we don't want to be any trouble, we don;t want to appear whiny - and our addiction feeds on that...inaction is one of the main reasons I relapsed back in the day.

It's a weird mix of pride and lack of self esteem - or at least it was for me....

Staying in recovery is hard - if you need help - I think it's best to reach out and ask for it.

Welcome to SR
D

FLA

What exactly is sex addiction? I don't understand how you can withdrawal from sex? Maybe you want to have sex real bad and can't, but I wouldn't call that a Withdrawal.. Are you allowed to pleasure your self?

kristin713

Sex Addiction is different for every addict some define it more as a porn addiction. I am literally addicted to sex. I have a bad day I have sex. I have a stressful day I have sex. At least thats how it started. Getting high off the adrenaline until it ended up that instead of just having sex when I "needed" to. It became in order for me to feel happy, sad, anything I had to have sex. It is a sick and twisted addiction that similar to other addictions is not safe at all. In order for someone with an addiction as extreme as mine they have to have multiple partners and especially for women this can be an issue. In SAA you have a bottom line which is something you cannot do at all the gray area which is if you do it isn't the best idea and the outer area which is things that can only help in recovery. My bottom line is sex with men or women. My gray area is pornography and masturbation. Technically I can but it doesn't help me in my efforts to stay sober. I'm hoping through recovery eventually my bottom line will change so that I can have sex with someone I love but at this point in my recovery sex with anyone would be a bad idea. And withdrawal is real. In my first post I noted I have a connection I could call them now if I wanted to but that would be running away from my emotions. Withdrawal is real even for sex addicts.

OCDDan

It's ok, addiction is all about the HYPOTHALAMUS , no matter if your shooting cocaine or scrapping metal, it the feel good stuff, all the same treatment, (dr dan)

sugarbear1

In early recovery I also mourned the loss of my high. It's also you recovering and changing old habits. It WILL get better!! It will get different and it will improve! Stay strong!!

Prayers, love & hugs,

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

GirlFromCO

Sugarbear is right, kristen. It will get better if you stick with it!

sugarbear1

xa-speakers.org has some speaker tapes from many anonymous groups!

(I think they need to pay me for all of my endorsements)

kristin713

Thank you all. I'm just going to go to a meeting tonight =D