FormerDrunko

Good morning all! First off, I am on day 69 without drinking. I am getting my stuff together to start college, and realize I have to retake my GED to get the scores to get in.

Some background, I went as far as 2 weeks in 7th grade in school. I got my GED a couple weeks after turning 16, passed no problem, but with lowish scores in everything but math. I am now 32, and I have spent the last 16 years working with computers, but with 0 education beyond what has been mentioned, I just always got computers.

I am finding myself feeling pretty damn stupid for all the time I wasted being lazy. I want to blame booze, but I know it is my own fault. I am taking practice tests for the GED, and doing very good, but I can barely remember some of the concepts I am using to get to the answers.

I don't know why I am posting... I feel bad about what I have done with my life, although I am extremely happy to have my family, and be doing as well as I am with how little effort I put out. I guess I am just sharing so maybe someone else in a similar situation might not feel alone, and maybe someone will help me not feel alone.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR, FD!

We all have some regrets in life. It's a big learning experience! You are doing something to change yourself, and that's wonderful!

Did you know there are courses for GED? They are in person and online. I just did a search on: GED courses boise id

I found several sites that might help you out. I used firefox browser.

I wish you all of the best in college and in life! Glad you are at SR.
You're going to do well!!

2granddaughters

I was 45 when I sobered up. It's never too late !!

All the best.

Bob

FormerDrunko

Oh, yeah... I also helped my good friend move over the last weekend. He drinks a lot, he was pretty much my "go to" drinking buddy. If he's awake and not at work, he has an Icehouse in hand.

I was at his old place and I got thirsty. There was no soda, water hit the spot, but I wanted something bubbly. I found a Sharps or some NA beer in the fridge, and had that. I found that I, personally, shouldn't drink those, either, because all I kept thinking about for the next few hours was downing more and more REAL beers. From now on I am keeping an emergency pepsi in my truck!

nel68

FD, welcome to SR you will find great support here. You definitely should be proud of your 69 days and that you are taking steps towards collage that is awesome! Don't be to hard on yourself we all have made past mistakes......just focus on the now

Pigtails

I think it is great that you have this motivation to change. The self-awareness of having been not-so-productive, and now you are being more productive, and staying away from alcohol. Good for you.

I too feel like the term "stagnated" accurately describes what alcohol did to me life (or what I let it to, that is). I felt stuck-- emotionally, mentally-- in a spiral of chaos, always thinking something was going to change and the future would get better, but then I was baffled as things kept getting worse. I was marching in place in a pile of sh&t! I am so glad to have broken free of that. And I am so glad you have too.

Thanks for sharing!!!

janiebluebird

Many people never get away from the trap that alcohol is. Even the weekend drinker who functions all week is going to suffer some of the effects of hang overs, bad decisions, disrupted sleep. 32 is young, you've got a long life ahead, and without alcohol you will be doing better than those who are sometimes using it and still dealing with its side effects. I am 27 and have many regrets about opportunities that I squandered as a direct result of my alcohol abuse. I failed a very difficult science class that I wasted all last summer taking...going to the classes hung over is easy, studying and passing the exams is nearly impossible between hang overs and my old busy going out/drinking schedule. I am re-evaluating everything that I am working towards and the priorities in my life. It sucks to think of what we could already be done with in life and where we "could be" now, but ya know what, we're lucky that we even got to the point where we can take true control of our lives...and we realize what a privilege it truly is to have another chance at life.

You'll do great. Try reading a few times management books before you start classes if you have time. Good luck!

ReadyAndAble

At 32, you're ahead of the game from where I stand. Good for you. Besides, it sounds like you're too busy moving forward to waste any more time looking back.

doggonecarl

I want to encourage your decision to go to college. I barely graduated high school. Not because I was stupid, but because I didn't apply myself. Thirteen years later, and after 12 years of drug addiction, I realized I had wasted much of my life and decided to go to college.

I didn't do well on my entrance exams; but they let me attend and had me enroll in what I would guess you'd call preparatory classes. Basic math and basic English. I beat myself up for being so dumb and not paying attention in school, but thank goodness for those classes. They did exactly what they were designed to do--prepared me for more advanced classes.

Not only did I graduate, with excellent grades, I went on to get my Masters degree.

Next to getting sober, probably the two achievements I'm most proud of.

You can do it to!

Firehazard

Hi FormerD,

CONGRATS ON THE 69 DAYS

Thanks for your post sharing your struggles with where you find yourself today. I do blame booze and hate it with a passion now as that keeps me from beating myself up.

GrowingDaily

My mother got her GED over the age of 45. She was literally one of the smartest people I've ever met.
There's a difference between education & intelligence. So don't be down on yourself in that regard.

As far as wasting your life, you're coming to terms with your problem a lot earlier than some. Certainly earlier than me. You've got plenty of time to turn things around. And it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing.

Thank you for this inspirational post.

Sapling

Welcome and congrats on the time you've put together...I wasted a lot of time in my life...It's been pretty much alcohol driven...Can only move forward now....Hang on to what you got and good luck with your education. Glad to have you here.

Fenris

Welcome to SR. Don't be too hard on yourself -- I wasted a lot of years and missed a lot of opportunities, and it was really tempting to beat up on myself when I sobered up. The problem with that is that it kinda made me want to go back to drinking. Keep positive. You're making progress in your life now. That's all that matters. Good luck and congrats on 69 days!

--Fenris.

Dee74

Hi FD welcome

I drank and drugged for over 25 years...I've been sober now for 5 years and I've done more in the last 5 that I did in the 25 before that

The past is gone - it's today that counts

It's never too late to start building the kind of life you want - welcome to SR

D

FormerDrunko

I'd like to thank you folks for the support. It's rough sometimes, and while I know it's all been done before, it certainly feels lonely sometimes, even with an understanding wife!

Sapling

Now you got a place to hang out...With people that have been there and done that.

recoverywfaith

Huge congrats on your sobriety. And, it is fabolous you are doing schooling. When I entered into college in my 40's I was scared sh***less, because I never did well in school at all...so I took a pre-entrance college class...which prepares you for college. It was a very light class...teaching you how to study, how to listen for the right things...different teaching styles...how to take notes...write essays...there was homework assignments and grades for all of it - even presentations - and I did very well. It was a very very good class and it boost my confidence level in going on to taking other classes. That is great you are doing this. As a suggestion...maybe with your GED you can get into a study group?

FormerDrunko

F'in A, Cotton. ;-)

eJoshua

I think getting sober at 32 gives you more than half your life left to accomplish your goals. Other people spend their whole lives without ever escaping the depths of their addiction. You are lucky to get a chance to build the life you truly want to live.

Rather than thinking about what you missed out on, I would try to start looking forward to the possibilities you have opened for yourself.

Well done on 69 days.

eJoshua

Thanks for sharing this -- I'm also in school now and sometimes regret the fact that I didn't go to college straight after high school. It's good to hear that others have been successful in college after getting sober.