jolinda

Is anyone here addicted to methamphetamine or no someone who is? Just wanted to ask some questions. Ive read alot but still doesnt tell me everything i want to know.

Freedom1990

I am a long-term (21+ years) recovering meth addict/alcoholic.

jolinda

So many questions.......Im really trying to understand my husband ( Joe) addiction. How does it make you feel yourself, Does it make you feel sexual, Did u want to be going other places all the time.. instead of being home. I would like to know everything thats not in text books. They dont tell you about the person. Thanks , knowledge is wonderful, and helpful

outtolunch

Back when....I became obsessed with knowing everything there is to know about my daughter's drug of choice, heroin.

Looking back, my obsession served one purpose - to sustain my own fantasy that I could snap my daughter out of addiction. The more I tried to understand and focused on stuff I could not control, the less time I had to focus on the one thing I did control- my own reaction. Rather conveneient, eh.

outtolunch

Many Police departments have special protocols for handling Meth Addicts because of the tendency for unpredictable violence, more so than other hard core drugs.

Freedom1990

It made me feel good, invincible, sexy, powerful, the list could go on on and on. Of course, in the end, it did none of those things for me. My bottom came when my last shot of meth did nothing but open up raw screaming emotional pain inside of me.

It does tend to increase sexual drive dramatically.

The whole thing with meth is you lose track of time, you are constantly in motion, and what might "seem" to be a few minutes in the mind of a meth addict ends up being hours on end in reality. I lost track of days, even weeks when I was in full-blown addiction.

It's a very difficult drug to get off of and stay clean for any length of time.

In my 25+ years in the rooms of recovery, I have yet to meet another recovering meth addict with long-term recovery.

I am incredibly grateful and humbled that my higher power, whom I choose to call God, has graced me with recovery and a second chance at life.

Kindeyes

I wanted to know as much as I could about meth addiction (AS is a meth addict) because I needed information to try to snap myself out of denial. I wanted so desperately to believe him when he would minimize his drug use. The more I learned, the more I understood exactly how powerless I am over the addict.

I guess it was a phase (information gathering) that I had to go through to move forward.

gentle hugs
ke

JustAYak

I am not a meth addict per say, I call myself a "speed" addict which just encompasses all stimulants pretty much. I've used meth only a handful of times...thank god I didn't get hooked (I went more towards pills like adderall) but that is one powerful and nasty drug. Stimulants in general make you feel confident, out going, bring you out of your shell. It made me feel happy for a while there... Like Freedom and Anvil said, it is a GO GO GO drug. Need to be doing something every minute of every day. I felt like I was doing something with my life when I used it, like I had a purpose.

There's not much more to it. It's a drug that engulfs people and often they don't return. Kinda turns you into the walking dead, your life's purpose just becomes a chase for the drug and serves for nothing else.

ctg492

Freedom 1990,
May I ask, How did you recover from Meth ? Were in an inhouse treatment program, medical treatment along with the support group?
I am glad you survived.

nytepassion

Jolinda,

Check your inbox

*hugs*
Passion

jolinda

You(outtolunch) may have something there. Maybe i am still in denial. In my heart yes , in my head no. Does that sound right? I feel like im going crazy.This is not the man ive known and been with for 25 years.

Freedom1990

I went through a 30-day inpatient treatment program (12-step based) in a medical facility, followed up by aftercare meetings at the treatment center for a year after discharge, attended all the AA/NA meetings that I could, and have been in counseling/therapy off and on over the years.

Although meth ended up being my only drug of choice in that horrible last year of active addiction/alcoholism, AA has been and continues to be my foundation for my recovery.

My limited experience with NA meetings across my area is the recovery doesn't seem to be as stable, and I've met very few in long-term recovery from drugs in general. Many of us in my AA group are dually addicted, and it's a very accepting group of addicts.

Regardless of the method of recovery, an addict has to be, must be, willing to do whatever it takes to stay clean. An addict will not have any recovery "stick" if he/she isn't done getting high. It's a serious commitment, and a lifelong one at that.

Windmills

I have often (10+ times in the 3 months I've known her) phoned a close connection from my meeting in tears and said 'why won't my heart catch up with my head?! why am I so stupid?!' and time after time she's reassured me it's ok, she was here too once, I have to allow myself to deal with everything and not force myself through it. Allow myself to feel my feelings and acknowledge them and understand why I feel that way. Sometimes my heart takes over for an hour but the rest of the day my head is doing the thinking. Other days in ruled by my heart and feel like I'm drowning in this awful emotional pain, when my head kicks in and reminds me of reality. Sometimes I literally get throug the evenings minute by minute, sitting here reading SR and educating myself about addiction on other sites. Learning to detach from him is crucial to me, I know I'd never have started picking myself back up from the awful place I'd allowed myself to be taken to had I not begun to let him go.

2manyears

my husband was on meth. at the time i didn't know what meth was. after a 2 year downward spiral from alcohol, pills, pot, and whatever else he was hooked on meth like a hound from hell.

the progession was so long that i had become like a frog in hot water. if you put a live frog in a pan of water and heat it slowly, the frog will eventually boil. apparently they keep adapting and don't realize the jeopardy.

i thought my husband was going insane. i knew things were getting really crazy and i was getting desperate but i was tightly wound into the blanket of addiction/codependency. isolation, spiraling poverty and chaos, depression, anxiety.

that was when i found Al-Anon. learning what 'detachment' was paramount, so i practiced it every day, and wrote online every day, and learned every day, about addiction and codependency. i started meditating. i couldn't sleep often because he never slept and i was scared for him to be in the house around the kids all crazy. i called police several times when it got bad, he'd go to the mental ward of the hospital for a couple days and come home.

then one night i saw the drug....my whole reality came sharply into focus like lightning. i asked him what it was and he told me; meth. i said "you're going to get help or you're going to die. will you go to rehab?" thats literally all that i said. he said yes. i looked in the phone book and started calling people...it was 11;30 at night.

it took 3 months to get him in with no insurance. I left 2 days before he was scheduled for admittance because my life was in danger, he was up for days or weeks, hallucinating, not sane.
luckily he made it there into rehab and stayed for 6 months. it was still a long road after that, and though it is nowhere near the hell it was then, it is still a long road now 6 years later. we seperated last month after he relapsed.

your heart didn't see this coming, and your head is figuring out what to do. it's not easy but it can't be avoided. and you are strong enough to make it. hugs and i hope you keep coming back here, so much to offer from the people and the reading material on this site.

outtolunch

Incredible analogy.

Just constant and delusional rationalization that "it's not so bad".

Addiction and codependency are progressive.

zoso77

Jolinda...

I think, on one level, it's good you want to know and understand as much as you can...

...so long as you understand that even with your knowledge, you can't help him.

Your husband will decide when he is ready to seek recovery. If/when that happens, God only knows.

Please focus on you.

All the Best,
ZoSo