PaperDolls

In my AA meeting last night a mother brought up that her children's drinking was driving her to drink. Two of them, both in their early twenties won't abide by her rules, no alcohol in the house. They're hiding it all over etc. She gave them a week to get out. Obviously, a tough situation to be in.

When I shared I talked about having to kick my mother out, years ago 9 may be 10 .... I nearly cried, and I hate crying especially in front of people! My voice got all shaky and I felt the tears coming, I had to cut myself short. I always knew it was one of the toughest things I've ever done but I've always felt (known) I did the right thing.

She's been sober now for 8 years.

She didn't get sober because I kicked her out but there is no doubt in my mind that had I not stuck to the boundaries set when she moved in (get a job and no drinking) and let her live in my house drinking .... she would have died there. I can't imagine the emotions that would be lingering today had that happened.

I was surprised my emotional reaction. Remembering and feeling that stuff again. It seems like yesterday we sat her down and told her she had to leave knowing she had no place to go. She had burned every single bridge she ever crossed.

Thank God she finally got sober but I know, as much I tried to save her over the years, I didn't have a thing to do with it.

TakingCharge999

Its Mercury retrograde, facing us to revisit...
OK well I do not know if that stuff is true or not but I like to blame things on planets

Yesterday I felt all hurt and sad over XABF AGAIN, after 3 years, just seeing him and overhearing him from afar. I guess I remembered him before addiction took over. It seems that was in another lifetime...

I feel these are opportunities to allow us to heal more
"I'll accept my feelings today, regardless of what they are" is my motto today
Hugs
Tc999

PaperDolls

Just about a week ago I was talking with someone about the fact that I MAY still be angry at my mom. I remember when she was drinking and dying I would say "I just want my mom back." The problem is, even though she's sober today she's not the same person. For lots of reasons I suppose but the physical effects that alcohol had on her are so painfully obvious every time I spend time with her.

Mostly I'm not angry .... I guess I'm still sad.

I've got this baby coming in a few days and she's offered her help. Problem is her health is so bad I'm not sure she'd be much help. Her memory, or lack of, worries me the most. How do you tell your mom you don't want her help with a new baby? I do want her help but I want her like she used to be ..... sigh...... some acceptance and prayer might be good for me right now.

Florence

Are you pregnant? Congratulations!

MsPINKAcres

((PaperDolls))

This disease always makes me sad ~ for all that it has stolen from me, my loved ones and my friends

Even when the a's get sober, there is no getting that time back . . .

Praying for peace, comfort and continued acceptance and healing between you & your Mom!

Also for a wonderful delivery of the new baby!!
Please let us know about the arrival of our Newest SR addition!!

PINK HUGS,
Rita

littlemutt

I get the same reaction sometimes when I start to talk about my mom. It'll be 10 years this fall since she died, so I keep thinking I won't break down over it, but every time I walk into any therapist's office and simply state the facts, I inevitably start crying. I also hate to cry in front of others, so I hate it. I try not to fight it and just accept my emotions and reactions and all, but I do wish I could hold it together a little better sometimes.

theuncertainty

Hugs, PaperDolls. That would be a difficult spot - telling mom... I feel for you. And it's only natural, IMO, that these feelings would re-surface as you get ready to welcome a little one into your life. What's more natural than revisiting your relationship with your mom, and what you wish it could have been, as you get ready to become a mom as well?

Wishing you peace and strength.... and all the sleep you can get before the little Doll arrives.

Florence

PaperDolls, I just recently had a baby (she's 7 1/2 months old already!) and was in therapy the whole time to try and help me cope with the stress of my AH while pregnant. My therapist told me that for a lot of pregnant women who have experienced trauma, the trauma was very much "at the surface" for the duration of the pregnancy. Like TheUncertaincy says, it's totally understandable that you will be revisiting your relationship with your own mother, but also know that it's pretty normal for pregnant women to feel really fragile, ESPECIALLY when you've had a history of feeling unsafe or unsupported.

xo